


Reincarnation

by Kai_chan_Draws



Category: Bleach
Genre: Blood and Violence, Character Insert, F/M, Gen, Imprisonment, Original Character - Freeform, Out of Character, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2019-10-11 02:22:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 88,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17438090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kai_chan_Draws/pseuds/Kai_chan_Draws
Summary: Following a tragic accident that ended with the loss of her life, Kaiya Tsuki is reincarnated by the manifestation of her combined twin blade zanpakuto. Once an arrancar, Kaiya finds herself in a new life where she was saved by shinigami and became one herself. Kaiya must adjust to life as a shinigami, knowing of her loss, and seeing the love of her life who hardly knows her, all the while keeping her true identity and past a secret.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you in advance for your interest! Truthfully, I am not familiar with this site aside from having read a few things here and there. At the moment I am not quite sure I know what I'm doing, but as I learn I'll be sure to make adjustments! Also, I am really happy with this, I've been working on it for a year now, but I am likely unaware of the cringe factor. If you find this cringey: sorry not sorry!

“We have t-!”

“There’s no time! We have to do this right now!”

I could barely hear the panicked argument over my cries of agony. The flower I had plucked only minutes before was crushed in my grip as I writhed in pain. The stem nothing more than green juice in my palm. The petals were beginning to curl in their death. I would have been upset if I hadn’t been in unbearable pain in that instance. After all, it was one of my favorite things about the world of the living.

“We can’t, she needs help, we have to take her back! We can do it!”

“I’m telling you, there’s no time, she’s hemorrhaging, we need to do this now before it’s too late!!”

Before I could scold them on their bickering, another powerful wave of the worst agony I’d ever experienced rolled through every inch of my body. It felt as though I was being ripped apart from the inside. My scream filled the meadow. Tears spilled down my cheeks at the sharp increase of pain. My love, awash with concern, pulled my tense body to his chest.

“Kaiya!” He cried in alarm. His voice was distant in my ears as blood rushed through them. “Look at her, she’s dying, we have to do this right here!”

“A-alright, fine, fine! Quickly!”

Everything after that was a blur of motion and pain. My dizziness eventually caused most of my memories to be blurs of colors. Strikes of silver when my love switched from comforting me and helping with my baby. Splashes of red that always followed pain. These blurred events seemed endless until one sound made all the hectic motion cease.

My baby was crying.

Tears that were already flowing down my cheeks began to sparkle in joy. The bottom portion of my body was completely numb, but it didn’t matter. It was the most blessed music I had ever heard. The cries of what could only be my perfect child. I could hear the sobs of my love as I made out a blurred form of him cradling it.

“Kaiya, look, look at our beautiful son,” Came his shaking, love filled voice. My face was alight with a beam as I reached my arms toward the two beings that existed as my entire world. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the spirits of my zanpakuto; they looked horrified. I couldn’t figure out why they wore such expressions, I was the happiest I could have ever been. They were talking rapidly to each other, but I couldn’t hear their voices. My baby was placed into my arms.

As I gazed at my son, my eyes glazed with more tears that shed. He was nothing short of a miracle. I couldn’t control my joyful sobbing as his crying slowly began to cease. Peace overtook his tiny features. Finally, he relaxed and slowly fell asleep in my arms. Gently, I placed a loving kiss against his forehead. Soft red hair brushed against my cheeks as I did so.

“He’s beautiful,” I sighed blissfully. I could feel the grip of sleep pulling me away too. There was a firm grip on my shoulders, but I was far too exhausted to react. “Akai…” my near silent whisper.

“Kaiya!” The frantic cries of my name grew more and more distant as I faded away into my slumber. The pain faded away too.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

“Huh?!” I gasped awake, bolting upright. Red hair fell over my face with the sudden motion. Falling over my shoulders were two long white braids. Without a moment’s thought, my hands clutched to my stomach. To my horror, it was flat. As I frantically grabbed at myself, I heard an unfamiliar voice.

“‘Bout time you woke up, Kaiya,” the male voice grumbled. In shock, I slowly turned my attention to the direction I had heard it. In front of me stood a red haired shinigami man who had his hand outstretched toward me. My instincts kicked in the moment I realized it was a soul reaper and not the two people who had been with me only moments before—or so I thought. I quickly slapped his hand away from me and jumped to my feet. I reached toward my hips, but my swords weren’t there. I could only gasp. They were on the ground several feet from me.

“What’s gotten into you?” He asked in astonishment, shaking his now red hand. “I know I knocked you out, but shit, ya’ hothead. Don’t be mad at me because you failed to block,” he groaned. My hands were shaking. I couldn’t figure out why he talked to me as though we’d known each other for years. While he was whining at me, I managed to take in my surroundings.

Reishi composed buildings. Large, organized barracks. Sokyoku hill; the one I had heard so much of from countless nights of stories with the father of my baby. The one they had made their escape during their treachery. Even the building that housed the central 46. There was no doubt about it.

I was in the Seireitei.

“What is going on?!” I called out, throwing him off guard. My fists were clenched defensively; I held them up to guard myself. “Who are you?! Why am I here?!” I continued, backing away from him in my defensive position.

“What?” He asked in shock. “What are you talking about? It’s me, Renji! Your brother you idiot. We were sparring! You had to have hit your head harder than I thought… Maybe I should take you to the fourth company barracks to have you checked out,” he pondered. I growled.

“I said why am I here, Shini-!” My enraged roar was interrupted by a voice in my head.

_Kaiya stop._

Slowly, I unclenched one of my fists and pressed it against my head as I groaned.

_Relax._

Both of my hands were on my head. A sudden, splitting headache had taken over. The pain was horrific, sending me slowly sinking onto my knees. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Kaiya?” The soul reaper’s voice was filled with concern then. “Alright, I don’t know what happened, but you’re acting insane! Come on I’ll take you to fourth company to get checked out,” he said urgently. I could barely hear him. The headache brought the rushing of blood through my ears. My energy was fading quickly. One hand fell from my head and into the ground as a support as I fell forward. My other hand moved to rest over one of my eyes. Then, I was lifted by the red-haired soul reaper man.

It must have been flash step. I didn’t even have a single second to protest him grabbing me. In mere moments we were just outside the squad four barracks. The gate had the squad four insignia above the doors. He pushed open the doors and called inside. Then, he took a few steps in, looking for someone to help.

“Is Captain Unohana available?” He asked. I was horrified to meet a captain, but my vague memories told me a healer could do some good. Not that I could fight against anything. The pain in my head was blinding. By that point I wasn’t even able to find my voice. Suddenly there was a rather tall woman in front of the two of us.

“Oh, Lieutenant Kotetsu,” the red head breathed in relief. “I hope you aren’t busy, but I have a bit of an emergency. She’s gone crazy, acting like she doesn’t know who I am and then she dropped onto the ground holding her head,” he explained, holding me out to her. She nodded respectfully.

“I’ll have available members see to her Lieutenant Abarai, and I’ll let you know what we find. If it’s serious I ensure captain with see to her personally. She does look quite ill. How long has she been like this?” She inquired, taking me from his arms. I watched as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Uh, well, she’s actually been acting strangely all day,” he started, “she insisted she was fine and that we spar, even though I didn’t think it was a good idea. Her reflexes were off too, and I may have hit her a bit too hard. She was out for a couple of hours, and when she came to, she freaked. I don’t think she even knows where she is, honestly. Then she dropped back to the ground and her head is bleeding quite a bit,” The woman who held me looked beyond concerned. Renji wasn’t wrong, of course; I knew less than the bare minimum about the soul society, and one thing was certain. I should not have been there.

“That is very strange, okay I’ll take care of her right away!” She assured before quickly running with me inside the barracks. I watched with blurred vision as the doors closed. I must have fallen unconscious just after that, because the next thing I knew I was waking up in a small bed.

The splitting pain in my head was gone, I could see clearly. Sitting up, I noticed I was in thin, white robes. I rubbed my face with my hands as I groaned. As I was about to comment on what a strange dream it was, I realized I was still in it. For some reason I still couldn’t fathom what was going on. The reishi composition screamed soul reaper, even my own. There was no way it could actually be some kind of dream, could it?

“What is going on? Why am I in the soul society?” I breathed to myself. Standing, I made my way to the small window in the room. Looking outside, I had quite a view of the squad four barracks. I was gazing at the outside for several minutes before I heard the voice again.

_Kaiya._

I snapped my attention to the voice. The moment I felt the presence behind me, I flipped around to face it.

“.... Seikatsu…?” I slowly breathed in astonishment.

Before me stood the being of my twin blades as one. Her arms were open to me, a gesture of friendliness and protection. Hair billowed from her head and haloed her. It seemed to move as though there were a gentle breeze in the room. She was beyond beautiful. Her eyes, however, looked hollow and sad.

_Something grave has happened, I’m afraid._

Her voice was angelic as it reached my ears. But I could not allow myself to be lost in her grace. The angelic nature was shadowed by a sense of urgency and fear.

_Do you remember what happened?_

That was quite the question. I felt as though the answer was obvious. I was with in the world of the living with a close friend, and my lover. We were taking a walk. Then, suddenly, I was in excruciating pain. And my baby was crying. Tears were suddenly flowing again.

“Where’s my baby?!” I cried, clutching at my stomach. In the next instant, her arms were wrapped around me as she cradled me to her chest. Her touch was gentle and soothing.

_Kaiya, I need you to listen carefully._

I could only nod. Seikatsu was stroking my hair as I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.

_On that day…_

I heard and felt her sigh heavily. Then, she held me closer; like a mother comforting her child.

_That day, you died._

My eyes snapped open as I clutched the sleeves of her elegant kimono. Quickly, she shushed me with the incredibly sorrowful look in her eyes. I could see her own tears forming.

_It was horrifying. Everything happened so suddenly, it was just a horrible accident. Chi tried to help, but the injury was just too much too fast. The fact that you were pregnant negated your regeneration as well…_

_There was only one thing left to do at that point. You were already too far gone. So, in their panic, Chi and Tamashi came together. Then I was able to take things into my own hands. It was too late to save you, but there was one other thing I could and did do._

“Seikatsu…?” Was all I managed as I looked at the pain in her face. She sighed once more and continued running her fingers through my hair.

_I brought you to another life._

“What does that mean?” I asked slowly. “Why am I here in Soul Society? If it’s another life, shouldn’t I be a child?” There were so many other questions I wanted to ask.

_It’s much more complicated than that. There were mere moments to react. No time to start your life anew; I had to borrow another. You are a shinigami, Kaiya. This is your life._

Her explanation struck. I wasn’t with the enemy. I _was_ the enemy. Seikatsu had taken my soul and traded it with the soul of the Kaiya that had become a Shinigami rather than a hollow. Another fate; another life. I covered my head in my hands once more.

“I—there’s no memories of this life,” I breathed, closing my eyes to concentrate. I no longer felt like the hollow I once was; but all of the memories were clear. Seikatsu leaned further against me.

_I didn’t want to transfer memories without your permission. It will likely destroy memories of your previous life. If you wish, I can merge them, so you will harbor some of both._

“It won’t be painful, will it?” I asked softly, head still in my hands. The gentle shake of her head was reassuring.

_I cannot decide what memories stay or go, though. It may be disorienting._

“I can’t live in this life without knowing who I am, or anything about myself and the Shinigami around me,” I sighed. “We’ll just have to accept the risk,” Seikatsu nodded her understanding. Then, she stood, lifting me to my feet. Gently, she placed her fingers against my forehead.

_Close your eyes, keep your mind clear. This should only take a few moments._

Following her instructions, I slowly closed my eyes. At the same time, I cleared my mind of thoughts. With a soft exhale, I relaxed. Her fingers were warm against my skin. She held a firm arm around my shoulders. It felt as though I was being lulled to sleep. Then, suddenly, it was an explosion of light to my closed eyes.

At first, I was surrounded by white. I could no longer feel Seikatsu’s arms around me. It was a floating sensation. Then, images from my own point of view began to flood around me, erasing the white one by one. The sheer amount was overwhelming.

Slowly, I managed to file through them. As I calmed my mind further, they began to organize themselves chronologically. I began to notice patterns in the places I saw, as well as the people around me. The soul reaper that had taken me to be healed had a large part in the memories that lay before me. In the order of my memories, I could see his progress in tandem with my own throughout our lives. The lives we clearly shared.

_He really is my brother._

There was so much to take in. The beginning started with my young life in the Rukongai. I spent it with many other people my age, including Renji. He made a friend too, a dark-haired girl named Rukia. Following that was our shared want to join the court guard companies as soul reapers. We entered the soul reaper academy. We’d graduated.

I’d already been a soul reaper for many years. One of the only three to have control over two zanpakuto. Unfortunately, I had yet to hold a seated position. As I continued to go through them, the images of my own memories transmitted themselves to me. Shortly after, it felt as though I really had lived that life, and not just another version of me. The white surrounding me began to fade until I could feel Seikatsu’s arms once more.

Blinking several times, I tried to regain my bearings. My vision adjusted to the far less bright atmosphere. Seikatsu loosened her hold on me. Thankfully, I had no dizzy or ill sensations. Everything melded together as best it could.

_Now that you have memories of this life, what do you remember of your previous one?_

“It’s scattered, but I remember a lot of what had happened close to my death, and some things here and there about living in Las Noches and the things I learned from _him_ ,” I spoke quietly. She nodded.

_Take time to collect them, you have less than half left. Keep those that are dear and let the rest be overwritten by this life._

I nodded at her instruction. She had a point; there was no way I could go back. I would have to live with the memories I treasure and that would be the end of it. When I looked at her, she had a mix of a stern and fearful expression. I couldn’t help but feel worry renew itself.

_Listen carefully. You must not tell a single soul what has happened to you. I don’t think they would believe you. Whatever knowledge you have that concerns the future of anybody, or the soul society in general, you must keep to yourself._

She sounded so serious I knew I had to obey with everything I had. I found myself nodding again.

_Promise me._

“I promise, Seikatsu, I won’t tell anyone,” I told her firmly. I meant every word.

_Another thing, I want you to be careful. I am only able to do this once, and the three of us don’t want to lose you. Please, if you must be defeated by death, make sure it’s meaningful at the very least, because I won’t be able to bring you back a second time._

This time her eyes were filled with tears. I understood her pain. Again, I was nodding. Then, she embraced me tightly. I returned the action.

_Then, I’ll be going now. Call on me whenever you need me, but remember, I am defensive only._

“Thank you,” I whispered softly as she faded from my arms. In her place, my faithful twin blades appeared. Gently, I stroked my hand over the both of them. “Hi, girls,” I murmured with a smile.

The door at my left opened up.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” came the relieved voice. Unlike before, I could recognize it this time. I turned my attention to her.

“Lieutenant Kotetsu,” I greeted with a polite nod. She waved her hand.

“I told you you could call me Isane, we are friends! Are you feeling better? A few people mentioned you were acting strange,” she explained. I couldn’t recall who all were my friends, it was definitely something to work on.

“Uh, yeah, actually! I feel much better now, thanks for your help,” I told her gratefully. She nodded, pleased.

“I’m glad. Well, you’re free to go then! I suggest taking the rest of the day to rest, just to be sure,” she suggested. I nodded as I stood.

“Thank you Lieu—Isane,” I spoke with sincerity. Thankfully, I’d been in the squad four barracks before and could remember the way out, as well as the way to where I stayed. Not that I made it there without interruption. Immediately after stepping out of the squad four barracks, Renji was there, waiting for me.

“Oi, Kaiya, are you alright?” He asked as he turned toward me. Rubbing the back of my head, I shuffled through my jumbled memories as quickly as I could.

“I guess so, I don’t feel bad or anything,” I started. Then, I grasped a hold of what I had been doing before I was transferred to this body. “You didn’t have to hit me that fucking hard,” I jeered, punching his shoulder.

“Ow! Well maybe you should’ve blocked like you were supposed to, dumbass!” He grumbled. Giving him a sneer, I yanked on a piece of his ponytail.

“That’s not how you talk to your big sister,” I warned playfully. Then, I stretched. “I’m gonna go rest for awhile longer,” Renji cocked his head to the side.

“What, did Isane tell you that?”

I paused. _Of course, I’m still the same. He knows me just like I do. No matter what life I’m in, I am still the same Kaiya._ One of the things I rarely do or have done is rest if I don’t feel like I need to. I certainly didn’t need to rest. But there were things I needed to think about.

“Yeah, I know, I never do that. But, I don’t know, I think I should play it safe today. Both of you said I’ve been acting weird, so I’m gonna rest,” I explained. He watched me closely for awhile before nodding.

“Alright then, go ahead. There’s not much going on today anyway,” he shrugged. I nodded. Before I could do anything stupid, I went through my memories to see how we displayed our affection for each other. With a smile, I held my hand up, and he clasped it tightly like we had always done.

“Catcha’ later,” I told him, waving as I walked off.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I have so much written already, I'm going to update daily for at least a little bit, in order to get caught up. Please enjoy!

It’s awful how empty my quarters were. Unlike what I little could remember about my room in Las Noches, this one was bare. The sliding door opened and shut with only a slight amount of noise. There was a small desk and my bed, but nothing more. The closet in the corner had spare uniforms. I could only sigh. _No sofa, or cozy chair. Maybe I was spoiled back then._

Looking back and forth between the bed and the desk, I felt a dreadful ache. Slowly, I brought my hands to my abdomen, feeling the toned, flat skin beneath my clothes. I grimaced. _This Kaiya doesn’t know those sensations, that warmth._ I fell to my knees in my despair as my arms tightly clutched my stomach. Tears fell as I mourned my lost son.

Suddenly, and idea struck. Seikatsu’s words were still clear in my mind. I had to write down every single memory of my life as an arrancar before the small ones were overwritten. Before I could lose track of anything, I jumped to where the desk sat and pulled open the single drawer. Inside was a neat stack of blank paper and a brush. Quickly, I began writing everything I could grasp; starting with my son’s beautiful face.

I wrote down every detail as fast as I could. I even included the pain before his arrival. I included the way his father looked at me and him. Then, I moved on. I wrote about the things I’d learned from that man; he’d told and taught me of so many things. I wrote about my life in general and the friends I had made.

Clawing through memories, I wrote about my life as a hollow, before being recruited by Aizen and his army. I wrote about how much a pain in the ass Aizen was. There was so much to write. My hand flew through countless pages. Finally, when my hand was cramping so much I could no longer move it and I could no longer grasp any other past memory, I dropped the tool.

“No one can know about these,” slowly, I began to flex my aching hand in order to use it again. When the cramp faded, I took up the papers and hid them in the safest part of my room I could find. I ended up prying up one of the floorboards and stashing the stack there. After replacing the board, I sat back against a wall. Then, I wiped my tears.

“Thanks to Seikatsu, I didn’t disappear,” I whispered so quietly it was barely audible even to me, “that means I have to live this life the best I can, for them. No matter what,” Leaning my head against the wall, I let out a breath. “No matter what,”

  

 

I don’t remember falling asleep, but I was awoken to swift knocking on my door. Jumping up in alarm, I slid it open to see a Lieutenant outside. Unfortunately, I couldn’t manage a greeting because I was unable to grasp a name. He spoke before I could apologize, anyway.

“You’ve been requested to join a scout mission. There’s been hollow activity and your name was mentioned for the group to investigate. Meet here as quickly as possible,” he ordered, giving me a piece of paper with a location. I nodded my understanding and he left. _I suppose there’s always a job to do._ Already, things were starkly different from my life in Las Noches.

Clutching the paper I was given, I quickly took up my belt. After fastening it tightly around my waist, I lifted my blades and latched them into the back. It was their rightful places. They fit snuggly and the belt supported them so that I hardly felt their weight. Another thing that was different from my previous life. This way seemed far more efficient. Then, I fled from my quarters and rushed to the location I was given.

It wasn’t long before fellow soul reapers joined me. I could vaguely remember some of them; others were mysteries. Rather than linger on foggy memories, I decided to focus on my task. _This is going to be hard, killing what used to be my own kind_. All I had to do was remind myself that I would be cleansing them. Life as a hollow was always painful. I was always hungry. I’d lost a big part of myself during that time. To save another from that, I could manage to cut them with my blades.

The sudden roar was unmistakable. But, with my new ears, that’s all it was: a roar. When I was an arrancar I could tell what it was feeling; although, they all wanted the same thing. This time, it just sounded like a monster. _I’m really not a hollow anymore._

“I’m cleansing,” I repeated to myself in a determined mumble.

“Whatcha’ say?” Came, unmistakably, Renji’s voice. Quickly, I shook my head as he fell into step with me. “How was your rest?” He asked, mocking tone in his voice.

“Oh, shut up!” I called, swiping at hand at him. I missed. Renji threw a chuckle my way before bringing his open palm down onto the top of my head. With a gentle push downward, he slid his hand to ruffle my hair. In near annoyance, I rolled my eyes. “Yeah yeah, you’re taller than me, I know,” I grumbled. Again, he laughed. As he picked up the pace and ran ahead of me, I hooked my foot around his ankle and tripped him.

“Hey!” He cried out as he lost his footing. Unfortunately, he was able to catch himself before falling. “Watch it, dumbass,”

“Sure, sure, pineapple head,” I giggled, waving him off. We fell into step once more, ready to continue our back and forth like we had so many times in the past. My memories were flowing better, at least in that case. It was almost relieving. Before we could, however, another roar sounded. It was nearly deafening. Our playful attitudes melted to serious ones as we came up to the rest of the group.

“Alright everyone! You were specifically chosen to deal with this hollow activity. Take care of them quickly, but be cautious, they’re quite powerful,” the soul reaper I could only assume was the leader of the mission gave us our orders. Unlike what I was expecting, the group was small: only six members. “Now go,” he finished with a command. Everyone expressed their understanding. As I was glancing around, I noticed my fellow group members unsheathing their swords. I decided to do the same. Then, the leader pointed in the direction of the hollows and, as if on cue, there was another roar. We all ran to complete our orders.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

_Powerful_ was an understatement. There was a hollow for each of us. Mine was incredibly fast. I was panting with the effort, and certain I wasn’t completely ready for fighting yet, either. Not to mention I could hardly file through my memories before taking another hit. _I must look pathetic!_ All I needed was to remember how Chi and Tamashi functioned as a shinigami’s zanpakuto rather than a hollow’s. But I struggled to grasp it.

_Kaiya._

It was Tamashi herself. I could feel the energy she radiated—it was my own, coursing through my blade. She was trying to calm me. I needed to steady my nerves. Slowly, I let out a breath, not taking my eyes off the large hollow before me. Its claws were still stained with my blood.

_You have to release us first._

The small statement brought loud, ringing bells in my mind. _I knew this._ I’d done it before, many times. It was as though the several memories moved to the front of my mind, on their own. Several distinct instances in which I released the two of them to Shikai. I could do it again. Quickly, I adjusted my stance. It felt right. Then, I grasped their command.

“Leech and Endure, Chi and Tamashi!” I called out. The sudden rush of power was astounding. It was nothing compared to a Captain, but I was certain I instantly had Lieutenant potential. I gawked at the new form of my twin blades as well. The normal samurai-esque blade widened quite a bit. Each of them had a bladed guard (they lacked guards in their unreleased form) with their symbolic flower in the center. The middle of the blade itself looked completely hollow, extending all the way to the tip where there was a distinct opening. The lower end of the blade edge had another blade jutting out that resembled a sickle. It led straight to the opening.

What was more astounding? I didn’t have to search my memories to know what to do. The knowledge came completely naturally; my stance, the way I held one in each hand, and even the way I would cut the hollow looming over me. The only thing I needed was another command. That was the true way to activate their Shikai abilities. I found it as the hollow once again lashed out at me. It was striking with its bladed tail.

“First, howl!” I shouted, bringing my blades together in the shape of an “X” to block the attack. The force pushed me back several feet as the hollow kept its tail against my blades. The flowers began to glow in response to my command. “Consume!” I cried, jerking my blades free and slicing up the hollows tail. It roared its pain and protest. I didn’t have time to stare in awe as the glow the breached the flowers and began to fill the hollow portion of my blades in response to absorbing my opponents blood and reishi. Next, it tried to bring its talons down on me.

As I brought down my right sword, the sickle caught the slender wrist of the hollow, severing it. Before I could allow it to retaliate, I rushed at it. The holes in my blades were completely full thanks to the flow of blood from the hollows severed extremity. The memories told me I had yet to successfully perform the next ability. In fact, the few times I tried it, the attack ended up exploding in my face. Despite that, I was going to try. My grip tightened on the handles as I leapt into the air, directly in front of the beast’s head.

“Next, snarl!” I commanded. The glow faded and what I’d absorbed hardened inside the blades. I pointed the tips directly at the hollows head. “Reflect!” I belted out, gripping my swords so hard my knuckles were white. Then, the hardened blood and reishi shot out of the tips of my blades in much sharper crystals; hundreds of them. They were accompanied by the undeniable sound of snarling wolves.

The crystals collided with the hollow, tearing into its mask and obliterating its head. In the same moment, I landed back on the ground, dropping to one knee. With a final roar, the hollow faded. The cleansing was completed. My own exhaustion struck just as hard as the hits I had taken from the monster. But I didn’t let it befall me. Closing my eyes and lifting my head to the sky, I tried to steady my heavy breathing.

“You did it!! You really did it!” I heard from behind; Renji. He was the one helping me master Shikai. A grin lit up my face as I stood and turned to him.

“I did! I finally got it!” I cried in excitement, throwing my arms up in triumph. He was grinning as well.

“I guess all of that work really did pay off! You and your zanpakuto are more in sync now,” he sounded proud. I felt it should be the other way around, considering I was older than him. Unfortunately, he’d always been faster at developing than I was. I was just glad I didn’t have to start completely anew, like Seikatsu had said. Of course, I was sure Chi and Tamashi were pushing themselves for my sake.

All of the hollows were defeated. A few of the members of the team had injuries, including myself. They weren’t severe, though. The most treatment we needed was some patching up, a nice meal, and a good night's rest. Thankfully, we had a member of squad four with us who was perfectly equipped to treat our injuries. Once we were wrapped up, we set off back toward the Seireitei. A quick congratulatory dismissal was what lead us off to our respective barracks.

 

  

 

“Time to find something good to eat,” I breathed, stretching my arms above my head. There was a twinge of pain in my side from the action and my injury, but it was bearable. “Maybe some hot tea, too,” I added with a longing sigh. Though, I wasn’t quite sure if I could make it myself or buy it from somewhere. The Soul Society was so starkly different from Las Noches. It was far more pleasant, even just as I roamed. From what I gathered in my memories, there were beautiful gardens as well.

While lost in thought, I caught movement at my right, in the corner of my eye. As a natural reflex, I turned my attention to the movement. Someone was casually walking just as I was. In the same instant, my eyes grew wide. There was no way I could ever mistake it. His back was to me, but that was undeniably the back of his head. It was certainly the way he walked. And he was walking away.

My feet began to move on their own. It was slow at first, before gradually picking up the pace. Tears were welling in my eyes as my face lit up in joy. _It’s him!_ His name was on my lips. I was lifting a hand to reach out to him as my legs were running. My smile was bright. His name moved to the tip of my tongue and I opened my mouth to call out to him.

“G—!”

_Stop!_

My voice caught in my throat. Pulling my arm back toward my chest, I forced myself to skid to a halt. Then, before I could be seen, I fled down an adjacent pathway. My hands were covering my mouth tightly as I flung my back against a wall. No matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t shake the view of him walking away. I’d never seen him in his Captain’s Haori before. He’d told me that he and the other traitors had disposed of them almost immediately.

_He doesn’t know you._

“I know that… I-I,” my voice was so quiet as I responded to my blades aloud. It certainly wasn’t convincing.

_You’re just another Shinigami here. You haven’t even met informally. Be more careful._

They were scolding me. Mentally, I apologized. All I could manage to do was sink to the ground against the wall. Then, I rested my head against my knees and covered it with my arms. My previously joy filled tears fell; they screamed my despair. _This is going to be so difficult…_

My appetite disappeared. All I wanted in that moment was to feel his arms wrap around me like they used to. I wanted to hear his voice murmur my name. The smile that was sincere only for me, I desperately ached for it. It was as though I were going through withdrawal. Each passing second, I missed him more and more.

“My Gin…” I whimpered nearly silently as I cried into my lap.

 


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy~

Several weeks had passed since my mission. I was adjusting quickly to my new life; it honestly felt right. The memories I had written down were a lifesaver. Often, I could feel memories of my past life drifting away. I clung to those pages like a lifeline. For the memories that were completely gone, I could only hope that what was written was as accurate as possible.

As I adjusted, word of my abilities and techniques spread through the soul society like wildfire. Of course, there were only three known Shinigami to possess two blades. There was speculation about me having Captain class potential. I could only internally shake my head. After all, I wasn’t anywhere close to achieving Bankai. The attention was nice though. Fellow Shinigami constantly asked me to show them. I always denied.

The only time people would actually see any type of demonstration was when I fought. Whether I was sent on more missions or sparring for practice. Each time I noticed the spectators growing in number. I tried not paying attention to it but having all the eyes on me was as annoying as it was cool. Even several captains began watching me.

“Does this happen often?” I asked out of nowhere one day. The spectators had dispersed and Renji and I were winding down from an intense sparring session. He cocked his head to the side.

“Does what happen often?” He had an eyebrow raised.

“Oh, don’t give me that! I know you’ve seen them too, how everyone gathers just to watch! Did they do that for Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyouraku too?” I had flung my arm to where everyone had been watching before. He shrugged.

“I don’t know, they’ve been around for a long time. No one has seen abilities quite like yours. Hell, maybe one of the captains wants to retire and they’re scouting for a replacement. If you achieve Bankai you could really do it!” He was encouraging me. Even his expression was sincere. Despite that, his comment about a returning captain made me scoff. _That doesn’t happen._

“But, I thought you wanted to be a captain? You’ve been working hard to surpass Captain Kuchiki right? I thought I was helping you with that?” He was already shaking his head as I questioned him.

“Look, I can do that whenever I want, but you have captains, actual captains watching your progress. That’s something to be proud of! Wouldn’t you want to meet their expectations? I could help you, we all could!” There was excitement in his voice. Renji wanted this for me. He wanted to see me be just as powerful as the other two who were unique like I was. I couldn’t help but smile.

“You mean it?” I asked. His answer was a nod. Then, he held up his hand for me. Beaming, I clasped his hand tightly. “Thank you!”

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

“Captain Aizen~” it almost sounded like a purr.

“Yes, Gin?” Aizen responded, not taking his attention from the paperwork he was completing.

“Have ya’ heard of that girl?” He asked, ever present grin widening. It was impossible to be any vaguer. Despite that, there was one Shinigami that was the current talk of the Seireitei. Of course, he had heard about her. There likely wasn’t anyone that hadn’t at that point. He wasn’t impressed.

“Mm-hmm, what about her?” Aizen was slightly curious to know where Gin was going with the topic.

“I think ya’ might like ‘er. She’d be fun to play with,” Gin chortled. Aizen lifted his attention to him.

“And what exactly makes you say that? Other than her zanpakuto, she’s just another ordinary Shinigami woman,” he remarked. Gin was shaking his head, shrugging his shoulders.

“She’s mastered Shikai! Rumor has it she’s already formin’ a grasp on her Bankai too. Incredible timin’ if ya’ ask me~” he explained. Aizen folded his palms in front of his face.

“That is rather interesting. Last I remember, she was struggling to master Shikai. That was only a couple of short months ago. Now you say she’s mastered it and already working on Bankai?” Gin nodded his response. “Perhaps there is something there with her. Have you witnessed her abilities?”

“Only some. I got this weird feelin’ she’s avoidin’ me,” Gin wondered aloud. “Not that she’s the only one,” he added, snickering.

“Why don’t you request to promote her, then? Have some of the other captains that witnessed her put in good words as well. We can put her in any squad except for the stealth force and monitor her,” Aizen offered, definitely curious. Again, Gin was shaking his head.

“I got a better idea~” he started, gazing off at nothing in particular. “Ya’ know how no one ever really battles for a spot as an officer? Let’s do that! If she can take down my Izuru, then I’ll personally take ‘er as my Lieutenant. And if I’m wrong, we can dispose of ‘er when no one's lookin’,” he proposed. “I think there’s somethin’ strange about ‘er, somethin’ we could find out,” he added. “Plus, ya’ can do one of those experiments ya’ like,” his voice was low, “like what you ya’ did with that Hirako and the others~” Gin sounded excited. It had been quite some time. Aizen pondered for a few moments, going over it in his mind.

“I don’t see why not. I suppose I can use that battle to see for myself just what the talk is all about. It would give me some ideas too. After all, it’s yet to be perfected. But what about what we wanted to do with Kira?” Aizen responded. Gin waved his hand.

“Aww, he’ll just be bumped to third seat, no worries! We can still use ‘im,” He ensured. Aizen nodded. Then, his attention was back on the paperwork.

“Then, I trust you’ll make sure it is all set up. Let me know when the date is decided,” that was Aizen’s dismissal. Gin chuckled his excitement before leaving Aizen’s presence and making his way to speak with the Captain General.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

The one day I was not allowed to sleep in because of plans I had made, I woke up late. It was from the deepest sleep, too. I was so unbelievably comfortable and was having the best dream. When I woke up, I was in a great mood and stretched deeply. Then, suddenly, shock poured through me as I jolted upright.

“I’m late!” I cried. Scrambling to dress myself, I made sure I had everything I needed before I fled from my room. I didn’t take the time to fasten my belt, I simply picked it up with my swords and took off to where we’d agreed to meet. Renji and I, along with a couple of others, decided we would take a trip to a serene place to speak with our zanpakuto. It was a way to further progress in which we grew more in sync with them.

Often, I spoke with mine. Most of the time they were trying to help me with my situation. What I hardly ever did was meet them in their home. That’s what we were setting out to do. But, I was definitely late. I was running as fast as I could to reach the meeting place.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I called as I ran up to who I could see was waiting. It was Yumichika, a friend of mine. Somehow, I had maintained our friendship even after the switch. He even remarked saying that there was something about me that was suddenly better—he also continued to comment on a newfound beauty of mine. I don’t know what he meant by that. Of course, Ikkaku was with him. Not that I minded, both of them were great to be around. But there was still one person missing. “Wait, where's Renji?”

“We know you’re siblings, but do both of you really have to do the same things? We’ve been waiting for an hour,” Yumichika told me. I bowed.

“I’m really sorry,” I responded, standing upright and rubbing the back of my head. “I can make it up to you!” He waved me off with a laugh.

“I don’t know why you wanted to do this so early in the first place! Ah, and the younger brother finally makes his appearance,” he looked to the direction I had come from and Renji was approaching. He was walking casually, unlike me. I gave him a bit of a glare as he joined our group.

“If you’re gonna be late at least try to get here quickly!” I groaned, punching him in the arm. He rolled his eyes.

“You were late too!” He retorted. I rolled my eyes right back at him.

“At least I still got here before you! Now let’s go, we’re running behind!” I urged. The four of us began walking to our designated serene area. Suddenly, I was stopped at the sight of a hell butterfly fluttering to me. It was the first I could remember it ever happening to me. The small, black butterfly fluttered in front of me as it relayed the message.

_Kaiya Tsuki, you have been requested to a battle for rank. Tomorrow morning you will battle with Lieutenant Izuru Kira. The victor will assume the rank as Lieutenant of Third Company._

Then, it fluttered away. The three guys were staring at me as I stood in place. My mind was still rapidly processing the message. _A battle for rank?_ No one ever battled for ranks. Many of the members of the Seireitei saw it as barbaric. Plus, it was primarily meant for the Captain class Shinigami. Lieutenant Kira was great at his job too. _Why me? Why now?_

“What was that about, Kaiya?” Surprisingly it was Yumichika that had asked. It pulled me from my thoughts and I focused on the three of them.

“Uh, it was a summons. I battle Lieutenant Kira tomorrow for his rank as Lieutenant of Third Company,” my face, my body, even my voice led them on as to how much disbelief I was feeling then. I crossed my arms and looked off into the distance as I continued to go over it in my mind. _Lieutenant._

“Hey, that’s great!” Renji exclaimed suddenly, grinning wide. “Do you know what that means? You’re a huge step closer to becoming a captain! All you need now is Bankai, seriously! You can beat Izuru, I know you can!” His excitement spurred my own, yet something was still tugging at my mind.

“You’re right,” I responded, slowly having a grin of my own, “it’ll be even easier at that point, as a Lieutenant!” He was nodding at me. Still, the nag I couldn’t place tugged at me. “Do you really think I can do it?”

“Of course you can with moves like yours,” Yumichika cut in, smiling himself. “Besides, you’re stronger than him anyway! Your beauty while fighting also surpasses that gloom of his,” the second comment was quieter, and his eyes sparkled as he said it.

“You really mean that?” I asked, stunned and ignoring the added comment. I’d never thought I’d be stronger than the second seat of any division. They were nodding at me. “Well, then I’ll give it my all!” I told them, holding onto my own determination. I didn’t know why, but I was given my step in and I wasn’t going to waste it. “You’re going to come watch right? It’s tomorrow morning!” They excitedly agreed to be there.

_I can do this!_

“Well, lets have you practice a bit more but not overwork it,” Renji offered. “We could always speak with our zanpakuto another time! You have another move you’ve practice without me, right? Work on that one too, since you said you've mastered it, I want to see!” He added.

“Alright, then I’ll show you! But I don’t want anyone else but you three, so I can keep it a surprise tomorrow, got it?” I watched them closely. None of them seemed to have any complaints. Nodding, I held a thumb up. “Then let's do this!”

“Right!”

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

It was extremely dark. There was nothing I could make out in the darkness. No sound, either. It was as though I were isolated. Frozen. I couldn’t feel anything. _Maybe I’m floating. Or I really did die this time._

I felt very much alive, though. Just slightly weightless; almost carefree and numb. That is, until I felt cold, slender fingers make contact with my cheek. My body seized, and my calm heart was suddenly rapid. It was fear. A tremble rumbled through my entire body.

Suddenly, I was extremely cold. I shivered both from fear and from my body temperature dropping. The fingers trailed down the side of my face, tracing my jaw. They rested beneath my chin. I could feel them curl before they tilted my head back. The pad of the thumb rested against my lower lip. A low chuckle broke the silence and I flinched.

“Tell me what you’re hiding,” hissed an unmistakable voice.

 

 

 

I bolted upright in my bed, gasping hard and clutching at my chest. My heart was racing, and I was left in a chilled sweat. When I was able to steady my breathing, I let go of the front of my clothing and buried my hands in my hair. Deep inhales, deep exhales. _Nightmares are always so real._

“Seriously,” I sighed. Removing my covers, I went to my door and slid it open. It was still dark out. I sighed once more. “No sleep tonight, I suppose,” I wasn’t one to be able to rest again after a nightmare. Shuffling to the edge of the deck, I sat down and let my legs dangle. It was nice to have a home on a bit of an uplift. I rested my head against one of the support beams.

The nighttime atmosphere felt great. As long as I rested at the very least, I was sure I would be fine for my battle. It was calming. There was no buzzing of activity, just the tranquility of the quiet. A gentle breeze helped to soothe me as well. I was able to enjoy the night.

Day came before I knew it. I hadn’t really registered the sun rising until everything was bright around me. There was a chance that I may have dozed off, but I wasn’t too sure. All that mattered was that I ready myself. Back in my room, I changed into my uniform. As I sat on my bed, I pulled the white piece of my hair forward and began to weave them together into a loose plait. It would keep them out of the way as I fought.

It only took me a few minutes before I was ready. I stood in the doorway of my room as I tied my belt around my waist. My swords were already fastened to the back of it. Exhaling, I left my quarters and began walking to the location that battles would take place in. It was odd because it was exceedingly rare for this purpose. Usually it was used for friendly sparring.

“I wonder who requested this,” I breathed as I reached the arena-like battle ground. From what I could hear, there were spectators and witnesses already there.

“Welcome, Tsuki,” I was greeted. The Shinigami proceeded to lead me to the battle area. It seemed as though my opponent had not arrived yet. Although, it was still rather early. There were a feel people, but not any that I recognized aside from the Captain General. There wasn’t a specific time given for my battle, so I leaned against a wall in the shade and waited along with everyone else.

Thankfully, I didn’t feel tired. The thought of gaining a rank fueled me. It was exhilarating to know my brother and best friend supported me and believed wholeheartedly that I could win. It put a grin on my face that I proudly flashed to my opponent as he stepped onto the battleground before me. His expression was the same as I’d ever seen it. For some reason it always seemed like he was tired or depressed.

“Lieutenant Izuru Kira and Kaiya Tsuki will be dueling today for the rank as Lieutenant of third company,” the Captain General announced. “The battle will be decided on their ability to continue fighting. This is not a battle to the death. If there are no objections, then the battle will begin,” everyone waited a few moments. There was only silence. My attention was on Izuru. I couldn’t remember his attacks, or if I even knew about them to begin with. _I guess it’s time to learn._

“Commence the battle!”


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ｡^‿^｡

As part of tradition and battle etiquette, the two of us bowed to each other respectfully. Then, our hands took hold of our swords—two for me, one for him. In one swift movement, I pulled my blades from their sheathes at my back. Then, I took a defensive stance as I watched him.

Both of his hands held the handle of his sword. He was watching me closely. I realized then that neither of us knew much about each other. We were part of a group of friends back in the soul reaper academy, but I hadn’t paid much attention to him. I was closer to Momo and Renji. The both of us were waiting to see who would strike first and work from that. Unfortunately, I was already growing impatient. I wasn’t much for standoffs.

In an instant, I had shifted my stance and was charging at him; blades bared. The shock in his eyes told me he wasn’t expecting my speed. Nevertheless, with his own adjustments, he was able to stop the majority of my attack and keep me at bay. Three blades had clashed together and remained, fighting for dominance. I switched my hold on my right sword, backhanding it. In the same motion, I yanked it away from our hold and slashed upward at his left leg. Despite the fluent action, he managed to parry and jump away before the blade made contact with skin. It only cut through his clothes.

“I’m surprised,” he commented, but didn’t elaborate.

“I could tell,” I scoffed. I was planning on charging at him again when he lifted his sword _. I guess he’s not one to have fun fighting._

“Let’s be more serious,” he told me. “Raise your head, Wabisuke.” Now in Shikai, his zanpakuto took on a strange form. It was angular, the end an unfinished square. I stared at it with a raised eyebrow before following his lead.

“Leech and endure, Chi and Tamashi,” I commanded. My own zanpakuto transformed to Shikai. We resumed our stances from the beginning. As I was going to repeat my previous actions, he charged first. Relying on my instincts, I parried his strike with my left blade. Instantly I knew something felt very off. Before he could strike again, I jumped away.

My left sword was definitely heavier. _What?_ It wasn’t like I couldn’t bear the weight, but the difference between the two was obvious. Rather than waste time worrying, I shook my head and lunged at him again. _If he did that, don’t let him touch them._ The warning burned in my mind. _Stick to dodging._ His expression remained unchanged.

As I swung my blade in the next attack, he aimed to clash as we had before. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. Instead, I changed the direction of my swing and his blade caught my arm rather than my sword. The move was intentional, and I watched my blood drip down my arm from the wound as the price to pay for it. _Its fine, now I can show Renji and the others that new trick._

“Why would you do that?” Izuru questioned.

“Why would I tell you?” I returned, grinning. Then, I was off again; speeding toward him. “Consume,” I commanded. My zanpakuto obeyed, giving me the clear sound of howling wolves. In rapid succession, I made a series of precise slashes at Izuru. He was prepared, however, and only two struck. They were shallow, but Chi managed to take some blood anyway.

Again, I jumped away. My grin remained as I flicked my wrist open so Izuru could see her glowing flower and what I had taken from him. The wound he’d inflicted on my arm was covered by the sleeve of my shihakusho, so I tore it off. My opponent eyed me with caution, as expected. But, it wasn’t an attack I prepared.

“Chi, Revive,” I called for all to hear. On command, her red glow morphed to a brilliant green. Instead of shooting out at my opponent as the Reflect command did, his blood was transformed to a healing tonic and transmitted to me. I watched his visible eye widen at the sight of my wound closing. From around me I could hear gasps and murmurs about my healing technique.

“Let’s go!” I cried in excitement as I rushed Izuru once more.

 

 

***

 

 

Izuru could already tell she knew his attack affected her sword. But, based on the look in her eyes, she didn’t know why or how. The strange girl rushed at him again, despite her confusion. He was ready for her, of course and spotted an opening. As he swung, she shifted her arm and allowed herself to be cut by his blade. Though he knew it was intentional, it was childish in his eyes—like a true amateur.

Izuru questioned her motives and was given another question as response. Once more, she was on the offensive and Izuru easily kept her at bay, aside from two small strikes landing. One struck his arm and the other his thigh. The wounds weren’t deep, and he bled only slightly. He watched as the girl moved back to defensive. Then, she was showing him her zanpakuto and his very own blood inside it. She even tore her clothing away to reveal the wound.

“Revive,” he heard her call. To his shock, his blood morphed in the blade, shifted color, and was sent straight to her wound. Izuru watched it heal almost instantaneously. Then, not wasting a moment, she was attacking again.

Even so, the girl left many openings; he wasn’t going to waste them. Of course, he never landed a hit on her weapons. Instead, he found himself always striking her body or clothes. At the last second, every time—it was as though she knew he was aiming for the swords—she would pull them out of the way and allow herself to be struck. Not once was it in the same spot.

_She’s strange, letting herself be hit like that. Perhaps, because of that strange healing, she isn’t worried about being cut._ He’d lost track of just how many times she’d been hit. Each time it was a different spot; he was unable to keep doubling the same place. Despite that, he could tell it was still inhibiting her. _It’s time to put an end to this._

Kaiya lunged at him again. Instead of aiming, he simply swung. Izuru wanted her down as fast as possible. The battle was pointless. He was not going to give up his rank to anyone, especially not an amateur. His strike hit her left side that was wide open. The force sent her to the ground and she skidded quite a few feet away. He heard her groan from the impact.

There was no need to kill her; head captain Yamamoto said so himself. Izuru knew he had no reason to approach her, but he wanted her to know how serious he was. So, he began to walk to where she struggled to pick herself up. The weight of her own limbs made it all the more difficult for her. It was done; the battle was his.

“Kaiya, let's end this. I almost feel sorry for you, but I had to take this seriously. It’s my position at stake after all. You need more practice, so why not just give up and try again another time? There’s no way an amateur like you could handle the title of Lieutenant and the responsibilities that come with it, you’re too exhausted to even stand already. So, take my advice: yield,”

 

 

***

 

 

Every time I felt the strike of his sword, whatever it had hit became much heavier. I made it a point not to be struck in the same place a second time. _Of course it’ll accumulate._ I could tell because he always aimed in the same place. But I couldn’t figure out why it would only increase the weight. Half of the strikes didn’t even cut me.

I desperately wanted to cut him down. Unfortunately, his next swing outpaced my own. I’d left my side completely open. The hit sent me to the ground painfully, winding me. When I hit the ground, I slid along it several feet and rolled onto my front. _Fuck that hurt._ I groaned deeply as I planted my hands on the ground to push myself back to my feet. My limbs trembled with the effort. My body felt so heavy.

Izuru was walking toward me, holding his sword in what I thought was an odd way at first. While I continued to try and push myself back to my feet, I realized that my head was probably the lightest part of my body at that point. Not only that, but he had never tried to strike for my head or neck. As I stared at the strange shape, I suddenly realized. The weight of my body kept me toward the ground, but my head was still held high. The sharpened end of the blade was on the inside of the squared shape—a perfect place for a neck.

_It’s a reverse guillotine!_

Because of my revelation, I’d just barely realized he was talking to me as he approached. It sounded like a monologue and I missed the first half.

“.... why not just give up and try again another time? There’s no way an amateur like you could handle the title of Lieutenant and the responsibilities that come with it, you’re too exhausted to even stand already. So, take my advice: yield,” he told me. The words he used echoed in my mind. He’d even stopped approaching, as though he were waiting for my response. _Give up._ My blood began to boil as I clenched my jaw. _Amateur._

In the next instant, I was on my feet. My rage and disbelief fueled a level of adrenaline that almost made me forget about my doubled weight. _How **dare** he insult me like that!_ A ferocious growl erupted from my chest as I glared at him. He looked incredibly startled at my sudden change, and at the fact that I was back on my feet. He had even jumped back in surprise.

“Who do you think I am?!” I cried in anger. “You think I’m just going to give up,” I snapped my fingers for emphasis, “just like that! This isn’t over yet, and I won’t be done until I’m on the ground, unconscious!!” While I yelled, I had already formed a plan of action. It was risky, and I had genuine fear of failure, but I had to try. He gawked at me and my reaction seemed to root him to the spot.

_Don’t fuck this up, Kaiya._

Despite the weight I could still feel, I was running at him again. Still shocked, he reacted late; I managed to slice into his shoulder. Thankfully, the attack command was still in effect and Chi began to absorb his spilling blood as she did before. I only need a little. His own adrenaline must have kicked in because in the next moment, he was swinging Wabisuke at me again. Quickly, I shifted Chi, my right blade, away and allowed him to strike my left again. As I figured, the weight cumulated—I could still bear it.

Rather than flee like a coward, I came again for another attack. This time Izuru was ready; exactly what I wanted. As he lifted his sword, I struck it away with my own, making the weight double again. It was like almost too much. _Almost_. As he was stunned, I sliced him up another time. That gave me exactly what I needed. I could see desperation in his visible eye as I overwhelmed him.

Up again came the head of Wabisuke. _This is it_! I lifted my own excessively heavy blade; the action was difficult and extremely painful. Then, I brought it down, perfectly hooking the sickle on the squared edge blade of his. Then, I let Tamashi go. In the same moment, he realized what I’d done—the weight of my sword, that had been doubled another time, sent his own to the ground, effectively pinned. Desperately, Izuru tried to wrench his zanpakuto free, but failed.

“Chi, reflect!” I called, aiming the tip of my sword at his chest. His own crystallized blood shot out toward him. The force impacting his chest sent him straight to the ground. It wasn’t enough to pierce his heart, but with one glance, I knew he was down and staying down. All he did was let out a choked cough before he was unconscious. “Figures, you can’t bear the weight you cause,” I breathed.

 

 

***

 

 

Izuru had no idea how to act when he saw Kaiya jump to her feet after he told her to give up. He had never seen anyone do that before. If he was being honest with himself, it was impressive. When she began to scream at him, his eye widened in surprise. _Seems I’ve insulted her!_

Then, she had come at him with all new force. Izuru was still having trouble comprehending how she could move as fast as she was after being struck several times with Wabisuke. One glance in her eyes told him she had figured out what to do. Of course, he tried to keep it from happening, but the sickle on the end of her blade was his undoing. Too perfectly it hooked around his sword; the weight sending it to the ground.

_I can’t handle the weight either_. There was no way he could budge his now pinned zanpakuto, but he tried anyway. All of a sudden, a huge force hit him square in the chest, forcing him to fly backward and into the ground. The impact took the breath from him and stung deeply _. She really did it. She won._ Izuru coughed as his consciousness began to fade. On the verge of passing out, Izuru felt nothing but pride for his old classmate and her newfound skills. _I was wrong, she does deserve it. Good work, Kaiya._

 

 

***

 

 

Everything that happened after I was declared the victor happened so quickly I was almost unaware of it. Not that I was paying much attention, of course. I had finally realized what had been nagging me about the battle before as I stared at Izuru’s Lieutenant badge on his left arm. It all clicked in my mind—the insignia, the position, what I would have to do from that moment on: I had become the Lieutenant of Third Company under Captain Gin Ichimaru. _Oh **shit**_ **.**

Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to stay in my thoughts. The first thing to happen following the declaration of my victory was my brother tackling me. I knew it was because of his excitement, but it didn’t help my fatigue and injuries. He was talking so loud and so fast I couldn’t make heads or tails of any of it. Instead, I opted to pushing him off.

“Gah, Renji! What’d you do that for!” I groaned, laughing at the same time. “Get off’a me, you’re heavy!” Laughing himself, he rolled off and helped me back to my feet.

“I told you you could do it!” He praised, patting my back. Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms.

“So, what are you treating me to? There better be a celebration for me!” I remarked, half joking. His grin threw me off guard; I was the one trying to do that to him.

“I might’ve made a bet,” he started, quickly lifting his hands in defense when I scowled, “on your win of course! Several people were in on it, including a couple of the Captains! So now they owe us dinner and drinks,” he explained. Actually, the idea sounded fantastic—especially considering I wouldn’t have to treat myself. Not that I expected to.

“Oh, really?” I grinned wide. “Then why don’t we pick the best place with only the finest sake?” His face held all of the agreement I needed. “Then it’s settled! Time to celebrate!” I called cheerfully.

 

 

 

 

When Renji had mentioned Captains, there was one I expected—of course he was there—but two that surprised me. Their presence made me feel incredibly uneasy. I wasn’t told they they’d be the ones coming until everyone had decided on what to eat. In fact, I’d hardly noticed them join us as we sat thanks to Renji yammering in my ear about “you had me worried for a minute” and “don’t take so long to figure out your opponent”. _Don’t say something stupid_.

“Congratulations, Lieutenant Tsuki,” none other than Captain Aizen himself praised. He looked far different than my memories of him ruling over Las Noches—sitting on that throne with the grin that nearly everyone hated. Honestly, I found it difficult to compare the two images of him, but I knew, just from a simple glance at his eyes, that the cunning and manipulative nature was still there. His pointless glasses hid nothing from me _. Don’t call him “Lord Aizen”, you’re not a hollow anymore._

“Oh, you don’t have to call me that, it isn’t official yet, Captain Aizen,” I responded, bowing my head in respect for the higher officer as he took the seat across from me. The smile he donned was significantly different from the one I was accustomed to. I couldn’t figure out why it looked so genuine.

“Regardless of formal classification, you are the Lieutenant of squad three now, isn’t that what you’re celebrating, after all?” He inquired, making a clear point. The situation was making me nervous due to the minefield I had found myself in, so I decided to simply agree with him. There were far too many ways I could end up digging myself a hole.

“I suppose you’re right, thank you,” I said, giving a pleasant nod. He nodded as well, before extending his hand to me.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lieutenant Tsuki, and to welcome you into the rank of seated officer,” he declared. Figuring it would be far better just to be confident like I always was, rather than show my nervousness, I took his hand and we shook.

“Thanks! You’re a lot different than I remember,” I responded. One of his eyebrows instantly arched.

“Oh? Pardon me, but I don’t believe we’ve properly met prior to this,” he said, curiosity lacing his words.

_Fuck!_

“No, no, no! That’s not what I meant! I’ve just heard a lot about you from a few different people,” I quickly responded, shaking my hands. “You’re right, we haven’t met yet, it’s a pleasure,” I lied.

“To you as well,” he said with a smile. Despite his friendly atmosphere, I couldn’t shake the feeling he was regarding me far more closely than he had before.

“Sorry for the misunderstanding,” I added. _Dammit, Kaiya, just shut up._

“Ne, Captain~ why don’t’cha give my turn ta’ talk ta’ my new Lieutenant here~?” Cooed the unmistakable voice as the owner of it took the open seat beside me. My chest instantly tightened, but I fought the urge to curl in on myself. Instead, goosebumps broke out on my arms and legs; I felt so grateful I had changed before dinner. _Just be casual._ Aizen nodded with a chuckle, gesturing for him to go ahead.

“Hello, uh, C-Captain Ichimaru,” I greeted, clutching the fabric of my uniform above my legs tightly. _Dammit._

“Yer’ really somethin’, ya’ know that? Who’da’ thought ya’ could do that to my Izuru,” he mused, leaning closer to me. “Full of surprises, ain’t ya’~?” more chills ran down my spine.

I had my attention fixed on my lap. Gin was the closest he had ever been to me since my switch. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of what to do. I wanted to be myself, but his proximity to me was making me shut down _. Oh come on, just do what you did long ago! Pretend you really have never met this man! Or any version of him._ It was Chi. She sounded more than irritated, but she was right.

“Surprised, huh?” I finally responded, though my heart was pounding. “Well good, I’ve got plenty more!”

“Oho~? Then I’ll be lookin’ forward ta’ that, new Lieutenant-chan~,” He chortled. Then, he slapped a hand on my shoulder and shook me gently to emphasize his excitement for my new recruitment.

After that, the celebration went on without a hitch. Thankfully, I managed to keep from saying anything more stupid than I already had. We had fun as we dined and drank. Although, I still wasn’t able to bring myself to actually look at Gin. I stole glances here and there, my cheeks burning still. He probably caught me once or twice, but he never commented on it. It was late when we decided it was time to call it a night. I had definitely had beyond more than enough to drink but was confident I could make my way back to my room.

“Congratulations again,” I received from just about everyone as we were splitting up. My brother and I clasped hands before he went off on his own way. Soon, I was alone and walking to my room that would soon be a vacant one.

“Lieutenant-chan~,” I heard almost next to my ear. The sudden sound in the quiet of the night made me jump. Not that I didn’t know who was calling me, of course.

“It’s Kaiya or Tsuki,” I grumbled, “I’ve explained that, so please pick one, Captain,” despite my attitude, once again my heart was pounding in my chest. I still refused to look at him.

“Sure, sure~,” Then his tone changed, “meet me in the squad barracks first thing in the mornin’, even with yer’ hangover,” then, he left. Shaking my head, I rushed back to my room and closed the door as quickly as I could.

Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel his eyes piercing me just as they had at the celebration when he had spoken to me. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself. He had been staring right through me. It was as though he were reading all of my secrets. _What if he knows?_

 


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday （●＞ω＜●）(01/22)  
> I'm 21~

“Gin,”

“Yes, Captain?”

“You were right about her, that new Lieutenant of yours,”

“Told ya’,” Gin giggled, pleased with himself.

“She’s piqued my interest, but for far more than just her unique abilities. There is something about that Kaiya Tsuki that certainly has my interest,”

“Are ya’ talkin’ about what she said at dinner, Captain~?”

“That’s right. Rather odd, don’t you think? She tried to cover it up, but not very well. Not to mention the way she regards you,”

“I don’t know what ya’ mean by that~” the snake lied playfully. “Do ya’ have a theory?”

“Not yet. I want you to watch her closely. See if you can find out anything else that doesn’t seem to add up properly. I want to know who she is and what she knows, and then I think I’ll use her for more research,”

“Sounds like a plan ta’ me! I wanna’ play with her,” Gin giggled once more.

“I’ll leave you to it then, find out as much as you can. And remember, the plan has already been set into motion,”

 

 

***

 

 

Somehow, I managed to drag myself to the squad three barracks in the early morning. The sun was just about as East as it could be while still being above the horizon. My head ached and throbbed with each step I took. The light made it hurt even worse. I wished with every fiber of my being that I would be allowed to return to my bed as soon as possible. Despite my reluctance, a small part of me thought it was a good idea, too. It would be another step forward in being able to tolerate Gin’s presence without closing up.

“Ne, Lieutenant-chan~! Ya’ know the sun’s been up about’n hour now, right? I’ve been waitin’ on ya’,” Gin snickered at the gate as I arrived. His arms were folded inside his sleeves.

“It’s Tsuki, Captain,” I grumbled, bowing respectfully. “Good morning,” I tried to shift my attitude to be more positive. Gin lifted an arm and waved his hand in response.

“I heard ya’ the first time~!” He chucked. “Now, I’ve got this for ya’!” In his now outstretched hands, he held the Lieutenant badge for third company. “It’s suppos’ta’ be on your left arm, but ya’ ain’t actually required to wear it. Not unless yer’ called to the captain general or a meetin’ that is,” he explained. Of course, I knew that, but I listened anyway.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the badge. When I had it properly fastened to my left arm, I returned my attention to him. So far, pretending he was someone else was working. I could only hope it would stay that way.

“All done? Then, let’s go!” With that, he entered the barracks. Keeping my distance, I followed him.

Unfortunately, my pretending was already starting to backfire. There was no denying what I saw with my own eyes. Even as he walked ahead with his back to me, the man I loved was there. And yet, he wasn’t. I found myself desperately wishing he would turn around and flash me the smile he had for only me. Sadly, the smile I had yet to see in this life.

“Kaiya, I need ta’ tell ya’ somethin’. It’s taken me months, but I finally found ya’! I came ta’ this world ta’ be with ya’! It’s me, an’ I know it’s really the Kaiya I fell for~” his gentle hand was on my cheek. Funny, we’d just been walking through the barracks—

I slapped my cheeks twice with both hands, then vigorously shook my head. It was not a good time to be daydreaming.

“What’cha doin’?” Came his amused voice nearly in my ear. All of a sudden, he had been next to me. I jumped, tamping down a shriek of alarm. Then, my cheeks were burning as blood rushed to them.

“Don’t do that!” I warned, turning away from him.

“Then pay attention, Lieutenant-Chan~” he cooed, a mocking tone in his voice. I kept my back to him as I clenched my fists. Fighting back tears, I pushed the last of my daydream from my mind. _He’s gone, convince yourself. Pretend he died with you that day._

“I was sayin’ that Izuru and my fourth seat are movin’ yer’ stuff ta’ the room I reserved for ya’,” he explained as we resumed walking. “Right now, we’re gonna’ do yer’ official Lieutenant paperwork!” He was leading me to a decently sized building on one end of the barracks. “This is the office, my home is right next door if ya’ ever feel like talkin’ or anythin’,” he snickered.

Sliding the door to the office open, he gestured for me to step inside first. I kept my eyes on the floor as I went. Inside were several shelves, two desks, a couch, and two adjacent rooms. The desks were on opposite sides of the main room. I figured the one that looked freshly cleaned out was now in my possession. The shelves were lined with an array of books and folders. I could only assume one of the connected rooms was a toilet or perhaps a bath.

“That door on the far end is a path that leads ta’ my place,” he said, as if reading my mind. “Go on an’ acquaint yer’self,”

“Right,” I responded softly. Rather than explore, I made my way to the empty wooden desk. The surface was smooth and polished. Gently, I ran my fingers over the top of it before I sat in the chair that accompanied it. There was some shuffling before a small stack of paper was offered to me.

“I think ya’ can take care’a some filin’, right? This is for ya’ and yer’ new rank. Ya’ gotta’ fill it out, give a copy to the Captain General, an’ then file it away where it goes on the shelves,” Gin instructed as I took the stack from him. I managed a nod, but still refrained from looking at him. Turning in the chair, I reached for a quill to begin my task.

Suddenly, I was taken by the chin and swiveled back, head tilted back so my gaze had nowhere to go but his face. The grip he had on my lower jaw was stern but not painful. Despite that, my heart rate began to spike. I didn’t want to look at him, but I had no other choice. The grin he wore widened as my heart pounded. He could probably hear it hammering against my ribs.

“I’ll be back in a bit, Kai-chan~” Then, he released me and left the office as though nothing had happened.

 

 

My limbs still trembled, even as I worked my way through the paperwork. I could hardly breathe, my chest felt so tight. _Kai-chan._ It echoed in my head again and again. No one had ever called me that but him. _He has to know._ Or did he? It wasn’t out of knowing. He was mocking me; mocking me because he could see my obvious discomfort at his presence.

“It hurts,” I gasped, wrapping my arms around myself. “I can’t do this! It’s too close, _he’s_ too close! I have to leave, I can’t stay like this,” I was panicking.

_Kaiya, relax. You can handle this. You have to make yourself a new life here. He’s just another Shinigami, remember?_

My girls. Their voices were soothing. I could tell Tamashi was also influencing part of my spirit. Slowly, my tense muscles relaxed. I exhaled deeply.

“Thank you,” I breathed. “Gotta’ keep a hold of myself,” I assured. Then, I continued writing in the documents. “I just hope I can get used to this,”

 

 

***

 

 

A couple of weeks passed after that. I’d been told that my duties as a Lieutenant would be far more complex and dangerous, but the most I had suffered was one high risk mission, and more than my share of paperwork. It was way more paperwork than I could have ever anticipated. Most of it was what my Captain would never finish. I found myself losing sleep. Not to mention the stress I was under whenever he was around. A lot of the time, I felt as though he were doing it on purpose.

“Stupid Captain,” I grumbled as I sat at my desk. Unfortunately, I was stuck with yet another stack of his unfinished reports. The sun was rising; I had been up all night. Thankfully, I was only ten pages away from finally having it completed. Stretching, I wheeled myself away from the desk. “Time for a break,” I breathed, “I need some air,”

Outside, the atmosphere was nice. Despite that, just being near the office was dampening my mood. I decided to walk away from it for awhile. I had until the following night to finish the reports anyway, and I was definitely ahead. Trying to wake myself up, I kept walking until I had left the squad three barracks. After that, I continued walking.

“Hey, Kaiya!” That voice was more than welcome, I desperately needed someone aside from my captain and Izuru to spend time with. “You been holed up in your place all this time?”

“Renji!” I called, trotting to him. I hadn’t seen my brother since the celebration those weeks ago. With a grin, he clasped my hand. “Against my will,” I muttered in response to his question. “Captain Ichimaru dumps his paperwork on me, I’ve only left once and that was to fight four hollows on my own! I’m beat, needed a break,”

“Sounds like he’s putting you through the wringer! Probably because you’re new? He likes messing with people,” Renji shrugged. Then, he smirked and traced a thumb beneath one of my eyes. “Not sleeping well? These bags are huge!” He mocked. I sneered before punching him in the gut.

“Shut your mouth! You’re lucky I’m even out right now, the stack I left could have easily been three times bigger,” his grunt of pain from the impact of my fist brought satisfaction. “Of course I haven’t slept, dumbass. He really doesn’t do his paperwork at all. The other day I found it made up into a bunch of paper airplanes and origami animals!”

“Wow, that’s actually kind of hilarious,” he said, rubbing his stomach. “Bet its a pain in the ass though,” he added. I nodded with an exasperated sigh. Then, he hooked an arm around my shoulders.

“Well, me and a few others were gonna go drink tonight, why don’t you come too? You can finish whatever you need to and then we’ll meet up in the evening. Would that help?” The idea sounded perfect. I could use a night of drinking to finally relax. Not to mention I would be away from Gin and could really calm down. My aching body screamed for the opportunity.

“You know what, that actually sounds fantastic! You can give me the details and we can catch up on my walk right now. Of course, that’s if you’re not busy right now. Then I’ll finish the last of my work and come meet you,” I agreed, smiling. He returned my smile with a nod.

“Then it’s a plan! And I can walk with you, I’m not busy,” he told me. I nodded, and we walked in no particular direction as we caught up.

 

 

 

It wasn’t long before I found myself back inside the office. I counted myself lucky that Gin still hadn’t made an appearance. Despite wanting to complete the paperwork as soon as possible, I decided it would be a better idea to nap for some rest. My planned meet up with Renji wouldn’t be until the evening and it was hard to nap in the office when Gin was around. I would be undisturbed if I did just then. And the couch was practically calling my name.

In the next moment, I was laying down into the couch. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but I could bear it. My exhausted mind decided it was perfect because as I rested my head my eyelids began to droop. I held on to the hope that I could nap without interruption for at least an hour as I closed my eyes. Almost instantly I was asleep.

During my sleep, I felt uncharacteristically relaxed. It was the most relaxed I’d been since being recruited to Third Company. However, I don’t know how long I actually managed to sleep. It didn’t feel like much later when a strange feeling roused me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t ignore it, so I opened my eyes.

“Wakey, wakey~!” Gin chimed. He was kneeling by the couch, chin resting in his hands. His face was inches from my own. The next instant, I shrieked in alarm and flinched away. He giggled at that.

“What the hell, Captain!” I cried, a hand over my chest as my heart raced. His giggle shifted to a full laugh. As quickly as I could manage, I moved away from him and jumped off the couch onto my feet. “Fucking scaring me like that,” I grumbled. Gin rose to his feet.

“Did’ja finish yer’ homework?” He asked, still amused. I rolled my eyes.

“It’s your _paper_ work, not mine. And no, I’m not finished, I stayed up all night working on it so I thought I’d take a quick nap to rest,” I explained as I sat at my desk. He tilted his head with a grin.

“Quick? I watched ya’ sleep about’a few hours~” he told me softly. The hairs on the back of my neck stood as my stomach lurched.

“You what?” I managed to choke out. His sudden laughter ebbed my sudden anxiety, if only slightly.

“I’m just kiddin’!” He laughed, patting my shoulder. “Ya’ looked so terrified,” his amused grin morphed my tension to frustration. I took up my pen and started scribbling information into the left-over paperwork.

“Ha-ha, very funny, now please leave. I told you I can’t work if you’re here. Besides, I have plans so I’m finishing this and then I’m leaving,” I told him. Gin visibly pouted.

“I don’t see why ya’ have such a big problem with me, Lieutenant-chan~” he whined as his shoulders slumped. Shaking my head, I ignored him and continued on with the paperwork. He hovered for a few minutes more before giving a shrug and leaving the office. As soon as I heard the door click shut I sighed in relief. _I’m getting better at this._

“I’m a new me,” I reminded myself softly before working steadily.

 

 

After a few hours, the paperwork was done. It was neatly tucked away, filed correctly and organized properly. I was walking out of the gate of my squad’s barracks. Although I had been a seated officer for several weeks, it still felt odd when I was addressed as lieutenant by anyone other than my captain. The gazes that held respect, however, made me feel important.

Soon, I found Renji again. He grinned as I approached.

“Hey, you’re cutting it kind of close, aren’t you?” He asked teasingly. I just shrugged.

“I could be fashionably late if I wanted to,” I joked, elbowing him. “So, what’s going down? Just casual drinking tonight?”

“Yeah, something like that. It’s just a few of us,” he responded. Casually, I nodded; it didn’t need to be anything grand. Honestly, I was happy just to drink to my heart's content with some friends for the night. “We’re meeting up over there—actually I think you and I are the last ones,” he added. Then, we made our way inside the small room.

The instant smell of food was more than welcoming. My sudden hunger was catching up with me, so much so that I didn’t greet anyone before sitting down. Without missing a beat, Yumichika set a full plate in front of me. All I could manage was a grin before I shoveled food into my mouth.

“So, how's the Lieutenant life?” He asked curiously.

“It’s not that bad, but Captain Ichimaru doesn’t do his paperwork for shit, so that’s basically all I’ve been doing,” I explained, mouth full for most of it. He chuckled his amusement. As I glanced around, I finally noticed the others joining us. Renji was at my right, Yumichika at me left; across from us was Ikkaku—I figured he would be present—Izuru, and Shuhei.

“I was never able to congratulate you on your victory,” Izuru told me with a soft smile, “congratulations on your rank,” I couldn’t help my own smile. It warmed my heart to know that he didn’t have hard feelings.

“Thank you. Also, thanks for moving my things to my new place, I appreciate it!” He nodded his response. After more casual pleasantries, our group began to unwind with food and drinks. It was nice to catch up with my friends, as well as learn more of what exactly my role was both from Izuru, as well as my fellow Lieutenants Renji and Shuhei. Although the responsibility varied slightly, I learned that a lot of the position itself was the same across the squads.

 

 

Not long later, I was completely wasted. So much time had passed since the last I had let loose, it felt great just to unwind. Not to mention the company keeping me more than entertained with their stories and antics. But, like all good things, it was time to put the night to an end and for those present to go to our respective homes. I was the first to try and stand—which was actually me struggling to my feet.

“Thanks for the fun, I gotta go now,” I slurred. A firm hand caught my arm as I stumbled.

“Let me walk you,” who I was expecting to be Izuru considering we were headed the same way, turned out to be Shuhei. Shaking my head, I pulled my arm from his grasp.

“Nu uh, I don’t need help, it’s not that far. I’m not that drunk,” I lied. “If anything, Izuru shou—…” I began to add but stopped as I glanced at him.

Izuru was sprawled on the floor, uniform disheveled. Half of the upper part was hanging off of his body. He was clearly unconscious, his drink still slightly in his grasp. I growled softly at his lack of assistance with Shuhei, then turned and threw open the door. After calling goodnight, I stumbled back toward my squad barracks.

“Fucking lightweight Izuru, the only one to pass out,” I grumbled. By mere coincidence, I must have missed my footing and began to fall. Before I could come close to the ground, a firm hand caught my arm.

“Look, you can barely walk,”

“Dammit, Hisagi, I didn’t say you could follow me!” I barked, jerking my arm away and stomping on. Despite my frustration, he kept pace with me all the way to the gate. I groaned in exasperation. “There, I made it safe and sound, ya’ wanna go now?” Building my frustration, he shook his head.

“Isn’t your place in the middle? That’s still quite a walk, just let me see you home,” he sounded genuine, although kept quite a bit of space between us. I wasn’t having it. Instead of responding, I weakly shoved him and briskly walked into my barracks. Still, Shuhei persisted. A low growl rumbled in my throat all the way to my door. I slid it open.

“Now leave,” I snarled, turning quickly to shove him. Because of my intoxication, I miscalculated the speed and lost my balance. With no way to steady myself, I fell forward into him. In turn, he lost his own balance. Rather than fall backward, he kicked himself forward to try and right himself, wrapping his arms around me in the process.

The force was too much, however, and the two of us tumbled forward—me backwards—into the open doorway. My head hit the floor like a rock and I cried out on impact. Shuhei followed quickly, landing on top of me and forcing the air from my lungs. There was a distinguishable “oof” when he landed as well. Blotches swam in my vision as I groaned. Then, I tried to roll him off of me with my trembling arms.

“Ngh… Get off,” I muttered. He slowly lifted his head and his eyes met mine. “I sai—hey…” I murmured, lost in his gaze. He was looking at me as though I was a work of art. My own gaze was slightly blurred, and I was dizzy, but it felt like he was calling for me. “You know…” I continued softly, reaching for his face and leaning myself up, “you’re...kinda cute,” he was leaning in too.

I blacked out as our lips came together.


	6. Six

_“Wanna’ know some more?” Gin asked me as he toyed with the white of my hair I had loosely braided. We’d medicated our boredom with plenty of alcohol and were lounging together in drunken bliss._

_“Of course I do, ‘Captain Ichimaru’,” I teased. We shared a laugh. Gin slouched more, making himself more comfortable where he lay. I was on my stomach, feet in the air and a single hand supporting my head. His only indicator of acceptance was the slight nod of his head before he began speaking again._

_“That Aizen, he managed to fool everybody in the Seireitei for over a century! Can ya’ imagine that? Hidin’ his true self for so long! Made himself look kind, really,” I could tell the story he was spinning was going to be both interesting and important for my own understanding, so I leaned in closer._

_“Aizen? Kind? Now you’re just messing with me,” I laughed. He was shaking his head._

_“I mean it, Kai-Chan~! He wore his hair shorter and over his face, these goofy lookin’ glasses too. Aizen played as this big-hearted guy! Concerned about people an’ all. Especially that Lieutenant o’ his!”_

_It was quiet for some time as he lost himself in his thoughts. I didn’t want to rush or press him, so I gazed at him peacefully. As he came back, he ran his fingers through my hair._

_“He did that poor girl real dirty, too,” he picked up again, softer this time. “She was so infatuated with ‘im! Had her utmost faith in ‘im, like most Captain-Lieutenant relationships are. Terrified her by fakin’ his death—but that was part of his plan—and sickin’ ‘er on me,” he laughed at that. “When she saw him in that buildin’, I could see so much emotion in those eyes’a hers. They embraced, and suddenly his zanpokuto was through that poor girl’s chest! Somethin’ akin ta’ love washed away inta’ fear an’ disbelief,” Gin almost seemed sad as he spoke of the memory. I didn’t know anything about the Shinigami girl he was talking about, but I tried to be sympathetic anyway. It was astonishing that the Aizen I knew could have been so drastically different—rouse or otherwise._

_“I knew Aizen was fucked up in the head, I just didn’t realize it was at this level,” I remarked softly. Gin nodded his head gently. I could tell the two of us were tired, and I didn’t mind that being where the story ended._

_“Faked his death right after the old man declared all captains and assistants the use of their zanpakuto, and long before that, he obliterated all of the central forty-six! And stabbed that poor girl when he revealed himself,” he whispered as we both fell asleep._

 

 

 

The warmth I felt around me was soothing. I inhaled deeply as I roused from my slumber. No doubt, there was another body with me. Instantly, I was awash with relief and joy. Nestling against my company, I began to relax once more.

“I knew it was just a bad dream,” I murmured. Nothing had changed, I was still with Gin, and everything was just—

Shuhei groaned.

My eyes instantly snapped open as I realized the chest I was laying against was not who I thought it was. Pushing myself up with my arms, I gawked at the naked Shuhei beside me. Then, I shrieked at realizing I was just as naked. My fellow Lieutenant was still deep in sleep, his groan likely from a dream or nightmare. Not that I was going to let him stay there for much longer. As anger washed over me, my fingers curled, and I reared my arm back.

“Hisagi?!” I cried in outrage as I swung out, striking his jaw. The force turned him completely around. In the next instant, he was up with his own cry of confusion and rage. I was already wrapping myself with my covers. “Dammit, get out!!” I roared, “get the hell out!!”

Shuhei was scrambling to his feet and toward the door when I threw his clothes at him. They hit him in the face and chest with a _poff_. Quickly, he slid the door open as he finally made it to his feet. I was right behind him, still tightly holding my covers around me. My blood was still at a full boil.

“Out!!” I demanded again as I slammed my door behind him. I kept my hands on the door for several minutes. There was shuffling—likely Shuhei putting on his pants—before hurried steps and finally silence. With a sigh, I slumped to the floor. “No more drinking,”

“Have a fun night, didja’, Lieutenant-chan~?”

At the sound of the voice, I shrieked in alarm. Once more I was desperate to make sure I was covered. As my head whipped around in every direction to find the obvious source, I saw none. Despite knowing he wasn’t in the room, my heart still raced. I lowered my head, burying my hands into my mussed hair.

_I imagined it._

“What’s wrong with me,” I whimpered. “For a second I actually wanted him to be here. I need to let go of him, but I just can’t,” I was more than upset, but I was tired of crying. There was no way I was going to over my own imagination. For a few moments, I kept my head down. Then, suddenly, what I’d dreamed of resurfaced.

“.... Why...?” I asked softly. That feels like so long ago now. _Did that really happen? Gin told me all of that, but was it true? The Aizen I’ve seen now is nothing like that._ “Why would I dream of that time, I’d almost forgotten, too…”

_Skreeeeeeeeeee!_

I gasped. My alarm was sounding. Leaping to my feet, I rushed to my closet to clothe myself _. I’m late, I’m late!_ I jerked on my uniform as quick as I could, rushing desperately. _He’s probably already got a huge stack of paperwork waiting for me!_ When I tied off my sash, I stopped at the mirror to make sure everything was correct. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my lieutenant badge, sitting on my desk. I had yet to wear it because it was optional unless I was attending a meeting or other formal event. I exhaled.

Then, I pulled the badge from my desk and fastened it around my left arm. Immediately after, I was fleeing from my space and rushing for the shared office of squad three. I could only hope my Captain had yet to make an appearance in the office. I ran with that hope. Unfortunately, it was shattered.

When I made it to the porch, I slid the door open wide, breathing slightly heavier than normal due to the distance my room was from the office. The first thing my eyes set on was my grinning Captain. He was standing just inside the door, as though he’d been waiting for me. I was certain he waited there for each passing minute. Without thinking, I dropped to my knees and lowered my head.

“I’m sorry I’m late!” I pleaded. His laughter rang in my ears. Despite everything, it still sounded like music.

“How unlike ya’, Lieutenant chan~!” He chortled. Of course, he was right. For one, I was never late, and two, I never bowed to my Captain. The next instant, I was back on my feet, marching around him and to the desk as my anger returned. “Mornin’!” Gin called cheerfully as I kept my attention away from him. “Are ya’ hungover~?” He prodded.

“No,” I said bluntly. It was a lie; my head ached dreadfully, and I could have used another few hours of sleep.

“Not sure if I told ya’, but yer’ a terrible liar,” he chuckled, leaning over my workspace. “Yer’ behind now, Lieutenant chan~”

“I told you, it’s Tsuki,” I griped, putting my hands on my head. He waved his own. “Can you go now please? Yes, I was late, but it’s not any different than any other day. Please go,” I asked. Tilting his head, he seemed to ponder for some time.

“Nah, I think today I’m gonna’ keep ya’ company!” He finally announced. My stomach dropped. I couldn’t handle being around him for more than an hour or two. Even that much was a huge struggle. I couldn’t even imagine what would happen to me, to my thoughts, if he hung around for an entire day.

“Please,” I tried again, a whisper. His ever-present grin widened as he shook his head.

“Aw, do ya’ hate me or somethin’?” He asked curiously.

“No, that’s not,” I tried, shaking my head in return _. It’s the opposite!_ “I just—!” _You wouldn’t understand! Can’t understand!_ I continued shaking my head. Letting out a sigh, I took up my pen. “Fine,” I agreed softly. Ignoring his very existence, I began the paperwork like I did every other day.

Gin sat in his own chair, propping his elbow up on his side of the desk. Using his hand to support his head, he watched me as I worked. I don’t know what he expected, but it was clear he grew bored easily. As he watched me—despite how much I tried to ignore him—I noticed him glance around the office every now and again. Similarly, he would change his position and the way he was sitting.

It wasn’t long before he was up and wandering around the office. Gin would poke at the collection of books, lounge on the couch, and flip through files randomly. Occasionally he would return to sit by me, but I didn’t give him much more attention than a glance out of the corner of my eyes before I was writing again. I took extra care in maintaining my focus. But, that didn’t always last forever. Especially not when the man I’d fallen for in my last life was within my reach. Every time my mind would wander to the happiness we shared, I would take a deep breath. I knew he noticed every time.

At some point, my dream once again returned to the front of my mind. Everything Gin had said, true or otherwise, was echoing in my mind. As I thought about the story he told me, a new memory blossomed in its wake.

 

 

 

_“Ya’ know, when I was still a kid, that’s when Aizen took me under his wing! He, Tosen, and I, we did somethin’ real scary,” Gin told me as we held our glasses. I was already entranced by his story that I couldn’t speak._

_“I’ve told ya’ about Urahara, haven’t I?” I nodded my response. Apparently, he was well known in the Seireitei, despite having been banished. “Aizen, he framed the poor guy!” I tilted my head._

_“What did he do?”_

_“Well, ya’ know how Aizen's obsessed with the Hogyoku and ascension and all of that. This was one of his experiments! It was over a hundred years ago. There were different captains back then, even Aizen was only a Lieutenant. He attacked a group of them, makin’ it seem as though it was hollows! He was experimentin’ with hollowfication. See, there were some Captains and Lieutenants that were part of it! One was Shinji, I told ya’ a bit about ‘im, but he’s not important. Aizen decided ultimately that his experiment was a failure, but that Urahara tried ta’ help those shinigami. And that’s how Aizen was able ta’ pin it on ‘im! No one suspected a thing, and Urahara was banished. Well, that’s not the only reason, but it’s not important, either,”_

_“Wow,” I breathed, “so he mutilated soul reapers just to further his research? That’s crazy! But I wouldn’t be an arrancar like this if he hadn’t, right?” Gin shrugged._

_“I suppose so, Kai-chan~”_

_“It brought you and I together, so I’ll overlook this one,” I sighed. Suddenly, he was serious._

_“Kaiya, listen to me. That hypnosis’a his is real powerful, ‘kay? If yer’ ever in trouble, by his hand, there is only one thing ya’ hafta’ do. Ya’ just hafta’ tou—_

 

 

 

“Wakey wakey~!” Gin chortled, giving a gentle shake to my shoulder. I hadn’t realized I’d dozed off. Blinking, I shook my head to help wake myself up.

“Oops,” was all I mumbled. I went to reach for my pen again, when what I’d just daydreamed struck me. I still didn’t know if those stories from another time, from another _Gin_ , were true. It was also just as possible that this life was far different than my last, so much so that perhaps none of that had or would happen.

Without a word, I stood and went to the shelves of books and records that lined a few of the walls. This seemed to interest my Captain.

“Whatcha’ up to over there?” He asked as he followed me. Again, he was tilting his head as I began to file through everything. “Lookin’ for somethin’?” I only nodded. If I asked for his help, he’d probably direct me away from it. I was taking a bold risk in revealing my hidden knowledge, but with the chance that something like that wouldn’t happen in this timeline, I would have to figure it out for myself. “Need help?” He pressed. This time I shook my head.

“Just go sit down,” I offered. He shrugged but did not comply. Instead, he meandered over to the desk again. Since he was out of my sight, I cared less about his actions, though I was slightly concerned when I heard one of the drawers open and close. “Did you take something of mine?” I asked, attention still fixed on the files.

“Nu uh, it was my side,” he responded. I could feel his grin. Shaking my head, I focused on my search.

If such events had taken place, there would be documents of them. My primary concern was the record of a banishment of a Kisuke Urahara. If that was there, then everything must have happened like the story I’d been told. If it wasn’t, or if the reason was anything other than hollowfication and the reason that “wasn’t important”, I had no need to worry. The fact that I’d had never come into contact with this Urahara made my stomach turn. _He’s not ever been in the Seireitei while I have been._

 

 

 

Finally, my tedious search yielded results. I’d found the banishment records, which were oddly quite long, and shuffled through to the ones dating a hundred years ago. With a short glance to my superior—he was lounging on the couch, toying with a paper airplane he’d made—I began to read it over. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the banishment papers weren’t long because many Shinigami had been banished over the course of time, but because each Shinigami had a lengthy, detailed report on the purpose for their banishment. Each folder was large and held many documents. I jumped to the “u” section. There was only one folder there.

“Urahara,” I breathed, nearly silently as I pulled it from the cabinet. The folder, in my hands, had that ex-Shinigami’s name in clear print at the top. When I pulled back the cover of the folder, I was greeted by an image of him, as well as another print of his full name. Following that, detailed descriptions of his known abilities, his progression in the Seireitei, and more.

I was almost too stunned to read the reason. My hand trembled as I took the page in my fingers. Then, I flipped it over. In bold lettering read “purpose for banishment”. The first block explained the various inventions that did not go over well with many members of the Seireitei. I was shocked to read about a Gigai that could reduce a soul to a human. Beneath it, another block, with the words I didn’t want to see among other descriptions.

_Suspected Experimental Hollowfication_

I hadn’t realized I’d dropped the folder until I heard it hit the floor. The sound was rather loud in the silent space. Gin, who had gone back to the couch, instantly perked up. Cursing under my breath, I haphazardly collected the folder and the several documents that spilled out from it. I wasn’t fast enough, however, because Gin was at my side, looking at the small commotion I’d caused.

“Are ya’ fallin’ asleep again~?” He teased.

“N-no, it just slipped while I was reading it,” I lied, trying to cover up my shock.

“Oh? Then what was it?” Rather than answering him, I shook my head. He tried to reach for the folder, but I jumped away from him, keeping it in my arms.

“I need this, I’m gonna take it to my room tonight to read through a little more,” I tried. It was a poor excuse, but it was all I could think of. He was tilting his head, with a rare sight: a confused, pursed lip rather than his grin.

“Can’t ya’ tell me?” He pressed. Again, I was shaking my head.

“It’s just something I was personally interested in, honest,” his response didn’t come immediately, but after a few moments, his shoulders slumped. He extended his arms in a large shrug and sighed.

“Fine, fine,” as he walked away, I exhaled in relief. Because I didn’t need it just yet, I slipped the messy file back into its place. _This is going to be a long day._

 

 

 

The sun had long set. By the time night had fallen, I was only three quarters of the way through the stack my Captain had brought me. But, there was no way I could continue. My fight against my emotions was more than draining. Every part of my body was trembling; my hands being the worst. I could hardly grasp the pen, let alone write legibly.

Despite how hard I fought, how much energy I put into staying focused on my task; I was once again succumbing to my fantasies. Gin was gazing at me from his spot on the couch. My distress was clear, and it seemed to concern him. Removing his palm from his cheek, he stood and made his way to me. I was still trembling so badly I could hardly move. My hands were tightly on my head when I heard his soothing voice.

“Kai-chan, relax, I’m right here,” he told me, placing a gentle palm against my back. I turned my tear-filled eyes to him as I tried to choke back my sobs. “It’s me, it’s always been me,” he continued, soft and soothing. My trembling hands reached for him, like I was a child that needed consoling. It seemed as though Gin thought nothing of it as he reached for me in return, scooping me from the chair.

“I…I…” I whimpered, wrapping my arms tightly around him as I clung as though my life depended on it. His fingers were stroking through my hair as he gently shushed me.

“You can believe it,” he affirmed. His grip around me was just as tight as he held me. I allowed my tears to fall. Clinging to him all the tighter, I lifted myself and rested my face against his. My tears fell onto his cheeks. Keeping his arms around me, he sat me on top of the desk.

“I missed you so much,” I sobbed. Once again, he shushed me. Instead of saying anything more, he leaned me back, so I rested against the wall. Then, he leaned in closer to me, resting his forehead against my own. “Don’t leave me,” I managed to whisper as he brought his lips to my own. There was no hesitation as I kissed him in return, pulling him closer to me. I needed him, I needed his scent, his warmth. I could have him, I could—

“Stop!” I cried. It wasn’t real. It never was. I was still sitting at the desk, my head still in my hands. Gin hadn’t moved; he wasn’t even looking at me. It was another daydream, and I was losing my composure at an alarming rate. My tears threatened to spill. My shaking body was exhausting, I just wanted it all to end.

“What’sa’ matter?” Gin asked, having heard my outburst. Desperately, I tried to wipe my eyes. Then, I stood, supporting myself with my hands flat on top of the desk.

“Please,” I whimpered, “please go now,” there was no way to know how he reacted to that, but I heard him stand. It was likely he could see me shaking. He could probably hear the tears I desperately held back in my voice. “I,” I choked, “I just can’t...do it anymore,” my fists clenched. “Please, Captain,” I begged. It was silent for some time.

“Alright, Lieutenant-chan,” he finally responded. I could hear his grin. Despite that, I couldn’t bring myself to care that he was probably amused. He finally agreed to go and that was all that mattered. Staying where I stood, I waited to hear his footsteps toward the door. When they sounded, I was almost relieved. The sound of the door sliding open felt even greater. I kept my head down as I followed him to the door. Without looking at him—without even a small farewell, I closed the door.

Then, I fell against it and cried.


	7. Seven

There was something about that girl that Gin could not figure out no matter how much he tried. She told him herself that she didn’t hate him, and he was certain she wasn’t lying. _What is goin’ on in that head o’ hers?_ No doubt, he watched her for hours, and each passing moment her composure broke. It didn’t make sense to him. Before she’d earned her rank as his Lieutenant, they’d never even shared a passing glance. Yet, that strange girl reacted in such absurd ways around him.

“Hm,” he breathed. Gin hadn’t left the office, merely stood outside of it. Through the thin door, he continued to listen to her. The instant the door shut, he heard her collapse, and shortly after: her heavy sobs. Kaiya was crying. But why? It wasn’t like he had toyed with her mind as he had with Rukia, or even Izuru. In fact, he had gone out of his way to make sure he didn’t. Gin teased her of course, but it was never anything serious.

As he continued to listen to her despair, he pulled an ornate paper swan from his sleeve. It was one he had taken from her desk—lying about it when she asked. It wasn’t any ordinary origami swan, either. It was the one that only he knew how to properly create, because he’d made up his own folds and techniques. Gin had told no one how to make it like he did, yet he held one in the palm of his hand. Certain it was not one he had made, he inspected it closely. Again, there was no doubt. _How does she know how to do this?_

Kaiya was an interesting subordinate. Her abilities, the way she acted, even the things she did were always strange. It was as though she knew more than others did. Of course, that was why she was under his watch in the first place. Gin remembered her sudden interest in the miniature library in the office.

Although she tried her best, it was nearly impossible to hide things from Gin. He’d seen exactly what area she was looking through. After Kaiya had dropped it, he even saw the particular folder clear as day. It was something she would have never known about under normal circumstances. Because of that, she should have never had an interest in it, but she had. The girl did a poor job in hiding her shock—whatever was so shocking about the matter—as well.

“Ah, Kai-chan, what are ya’ hidin’?” He asked the air in a quiet voice as he took his first steps away from the office. It was time to see Aizen.

 

 

 

“Captain~!” Gin chortled as he slid open the door to Aizen's room. Aizen was sitting at his table, looking like he was writing something. Gin noticed Momo present as well; he likely interrupted a peaceful conversation.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but Captain Ichimaru seems to have something urgent to discuss. Might we continue our conversation a bit later?” He requested. Momo nodded with a short bow.

“Of course, Captain Aizen,” she responded as she stood. Before she left, she made sure to bow and greet Gin, then disappeared outside.

“That Hinamori is really attached to ya’!” He remarked as her hurried steps faded away.

“It’s another piece I can use to my advantage,” Aizen explained. Gin already knew that. “Is this about your Lieutenant?” Aizen assumed. Gin chuckled.

“It is!”

“Go on,”

“She’s a weird one. I know before I was interested because’a her abilities, but I think there’s more,” Gin widened his grin. “Ya’ know what I caught her lookin’ into? Urahara's records, his banishment file! I think she might know somethin’. Somethin’ that could end up bad for ya’, Captain~”

“Oh?” Aizen's hands were folded as he listened intently. “Has Lieutenant Tsuki spoken about anything peculiar? Specifically, her interest in those files?”

“Not outright,” Gin admitted, shaking his head with a shrug. “She was surprised by what she found, like she was hopin’ it wouldn’t have been there. So surprised she went an’ dropped the folder! I really think that girl knows somethin’ about us,”

“Then we will continue monitoring her. I want to know if you find out any more,”

“There’s somethin’ else! I don’t know why, but that girl can’t be around me for very long before she starts ta’ break down. She acts like she’s known me or somethin’! I stayed with her all day, by the end of it, she was tremblin’, cryin’ too! Pushed me out, then broke down right when the door closed,” Gin was shrugging again.

“Peculiar, but I don’t believe that’s of great concern. Perhaps she has some sort of infatuation for you?”

“I guess so, I just thought it was weird,” Gin chuckled. “Cryin’ like a little kid an’ all!” Aizen was nodding.

“Make sure to watch her closely, if she really does know something, she’s bound to slip,” Aizen instructed.

“Right right,” Gin chortled, “bye then!” He announced as he walked out of the door.

 

 

***

 

 

My body was stiff and sore; I’d fallen asleep on the floor in the office. The breakdown I had sent me into a dreamless sleep that lasted far longer than it normally would have. In the end I never finished the paperwork, and I certainly didn’t want to start it just then. In fact, I didn’t want to spend another minute inside my own barracks. I even wanted to avoid my own room.

“I need a walk,” I whispered to myself as I stood up from the floor. Sliding open the door and exiting the office, I left it as it was and made my way to the gate.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any sort of plan in mind. Not that it mattered; as long as I was far away from my emotional stress. Rather than concern myself with it, I kept my head down and wandered at a brisk pace. Slowly, my tense muscles began to relax as I walked. I was weaving through other barracks, avoiding other Shinigami as much as I was able. Despite relaxing, I still kept my eyes at my own feet.

There were a few Shinigami that greeted me as they passed, even with respectful bows. I gave them polite responses, but hardly acknowledged who they were. It was strange that so many people could know who I was just because I earned a high rank. Even so, I couldn’t bring myself to care. Instead, I did my best to empty out my head.

Eventually, I stopped to sit beneath a tree for some shade. With my back against the trunk, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. There was a gentle breeze that ruffled the leaves and cooled my skin. It was as if nature itself was trying to soothe me. I wasn’t tired, so I knew I wouldn’t fall asleep. Finally, I was able to fully relax.

“Kaiya?” The sudden voice and firm hand on my shoulder made me leap out of my skin. The familiar laughter that filled my ears from my reaction made me groan in frustration.

“Dammit Renji,” I grumbled. “Don’t do that!” Slowly, I opened my eyes to give him a gentle, playful glare.

“You scare so easy,” he laughed, sitting down beside me. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“I, uh, don’t really have an answer,” I chuckled with a shrug. “I guess I just needed to get away from it all. I’ve been having a hard time,” I sighed, gazing off into the distance.

“What do you mean? You seemed fine when we went drinking with the guys!”

“Well I think I was then at least. I don’t know how to explain it, I’m sorry,” I offered gently. Renji watched me intently.

“You know, Kaiya, you’ve been really different since that day I knocked you on your ass! For the most part, it’s seemed to work out in your favor. You couldn’t seem to do much before, barely even made it into the court guard companies! You were always distracted and distant, like you weren’t fully you a lot of the time. Especially when we tried to progress your abilities. That day, before you asked me to spar, you were especially off. You kept zoning out and seemed like you were far away, you know? Like you truly weren’t you. But, when you came back, even the way your eyes shine was completely different, but in a good way! You’re still odd, but you’re you. You’re the sister I know well! So, I hope you can get out of this little funk. You’re doing great, and I’ve been worried about you, so just relax, okay? I know Ichimaru is super creepy and all, but you can handle him, alright?” Halfway through his speech, Renji had hooked an arm around my shoulders and embraced me. He was showing his concern, his deep affection for me. It warmed my heart, and for the first time, I didn’t have a single thought about the love I’d lost. Slowly, I embraced him tightly in return.

“Thank you, little brother,” I finally managed. My voice was heartfelt and sincere. When he released me, he had a big grin. It didn’t last, though, because he shifted back to staring at me.

“Hey, what happened between you and Shuhei?” He asked suddenly.

_Fuck. I knew that was coming_.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I told the half assed lie. He rolled his eyes.

“Shuhei told me he didn’t even want to look at you! What happened!” He demanded, eager for a juicy story. I sighed in exasperation, putting my hands on my head.

“Nothing happened!” I tried again. He gave me one look that told me no lie would work on him. With a small growl, I dropped my hands.

“Fine!” Again, he was watching me intently, waiting for me to spill. Pulling up my knees, I crossed my arms and rested them in top of them.

“He asked to walk me home and I kept refusing ‘cause I don’t need it, even if I’m drunk. But he wouldn’t let it go so he followed me to the barracks, and to my room. I kept telling him to leave and he wouldn’t. He tried to help me into my room, but we tripped and fell. I don’t remember anything after that,” I explained. “I, uh, I think we slept together,”

“You think?” Renji pressed. I could tell his curiosity was piqued.

“No,” I sighed, “I’m sure we did,”

“Why do you say that? You blacked out, didn’t you?” Renji could read me well.

“I did,” I admitted. “I’m sure because I woke up nestled into his chest and the two of us were naked. He probably remembers more than I do. When I realized what happened, I was super angry! I punched him and kicked him out while I was screaming at him,” When I finished, Renji’s eyebrows were raised.

“Doesn’t that seem a little excessive?” He asked. “That explains why his jaw is bruised,” he added as an afterthought. “Why did you react like that?”

“Because I didn’t want to sleep with him!” I bursted out. “I didn’t even want him to walk me home! I didn’t want to sleep with anybody,” I groaned. “It’s like he took advantage of me because I was drunk,” I grumbled quietly.

“Kaiya you have to go apologize!” Renji insisted. “That was overboard,” I shook my head rather vigorously.

“I don’t want to see him! And you said he doesn’t want to see me either, so it’s fine. I’m not apologizing and I’m not gonna’ hang out if he’s there too,” I told him firmly. He slumped back against the tree.

“Come on, Kaiya he’s our friend! Who cares if you had a one night stand!” He said in exasperation. “You can’t just avoid each other forever! That’s not how it works,”

“I care!” I cried, giving him a shove. “And I can sure as hell try,” Renji was quiet, his face holding a frown. There was no way to tell what was going through his head, I could only hope he wasn’t furious with me.

“Fine,” he finally sighed, “whatever, just do what you want, but I think you should just get over it,” With a snort, I rested my head against my arms. As he relaxed, I could feel his irritation settle. Mine did as well. We took the time to enjoy the breeze. After some time, Renji rose to his feet.

“I’m gonna head off now, will you be okay?” He asked, earlier concern washing over his face.

“I’ll be fine,” I responded, nodding. He gave me a short grin before he left on his way.

 

 

 

It was another few hours before I was wandering again. Of course, wandering wasn’t quite right considering it was easy to know where I was at all times. A far cry from the maze I could scarcely remember about Las Noches. The normal activity of the Seireitei was going on, and I was still receiving greetings from the occasional Shinigami to happen across my path. Since I’d had the time to calm down, it felt peaceful. I was able to greet everyone back with sincerity. Still, I did not want to return to my barracks.

Suddenly, in the distance, I could see someone waving eagerly for me. Once I’d gone closer, I could see it was someone I had spent a lot of my time with, especially while we were in the soul reaper academy. She had a pleasant smile on her face as she quickened her pace to meet me. It had actually been awhile since we were last able to spend time with one another. She, Renji, Izuru, and I were all fairly close.

“Hi, Kaiya!” She called as she reached me. With a bright smile of my own, I returned her greeting.

“Hi! It’s been awhile, right, Momo?” I chuckled. She nodded.

“Sorry, I know we’ve both been busy! I was able to see your battle for your rank back then, though! Congratulations!” She cheered. Still chuckling, I shrugged and thanked her.

“I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but I’m glad I did it anyway!” I told her. She giggled.

“It really suits you,” her compliment helped my mood even more. We continued to chat; she was going on about the work she was doing, as well as her position. I was enjoying her descriptions when suddenly my stomach turned. Momo was speaking highly of Captain Aizen, going on about how fulfilling it was to work under him.

_“His blade was right through her chest! Somethin’ akin to love turned to fear an’ disbelief in her eyes,”_

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked suddenly, interrupting herself. “You look pale all of a sudden, are you feeling sick?” I didn’t want her to be concerned for me. I was terrified for her sake. My fingers shook slightly as I lifted my hands and gently placed them on her shoulders. Her eyes stared into mine; wide and filled with worry.

“Momo, listen, please, okay? This is going to sound really weird, but I need you to trust me. You and I are friends, right? So please, I’m warning you,” I spoke quietly, voice completely calm and serious. Gently, she responded.

“What is it?”

“Don’t trust Captain Aizen,”  


	8. Eight

It was a couple of days after my encounter with Momo before I realized it; I’d been taking short naps here and there around the soul society when I needed to. Despite how much I dreaded it, I needed to return to my room and rest because I was exhausted. Not to mention it was growing increasingly uncomfortable in my shihakusho. Still, I purposefully chose the long way to my barracks. I could only pray I wouldn’t happen across my captain or anyone else.

Of course, my mood darkened the minute I stepped through the gate. Even after the care I took to relax, I was tensing up again. It was the dread, mostly. Forcing my nerves to stay steady, I breathed deeply. Not long after, I was sliding open the door to my room. Two flaming wolves were there to greet me.

“Chi? Tamashi?” I asked slowly. Often, I spoke with them, but they had yet to manifest themselves. Not since they were together as Seikatsu. Chi raised her hackles as she snarled at me, but it was Tamashi who spoke.

_What are you doing, Kaiya? Seikatsu gave you a clear warning. Besides, you’ve not been taking very good care of yourself._

“Wh-what, I, no I didn’t tell anybody anything, I was just trying to protect her,” I tried to explain, knowing why they were angry. “He’s not trustworthy, Gin told me—!”

_You’re not supposed to know that, remember? We know it’s frightening, but you’re putting yourself in just as much danger, if not more._

“But maybe I can stop people from getting hurt! I can be more discrete, I’m sure Momo will believe me!” My voice was nearly pleading. Chi snarled again before she spoke.

_Enough. You have to protect yourself. If you end up hurt because of this I won’t heal your injuries anymore._

“I’m sorry, I just,” I sighed. They were right, but I didn’t know if I could really stop myself. “I’m sorry,” I repeated. The two of them rubbed against my legs before disappearing; returning to their blades. Sighing again, I changed from my uniform into a comfortable kimono.

“This is getting kinda’ crazy,” I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair. “All this emotional hell because of Captain, memories I’d nearly lost resurfacing, making me stressed and paranoid, it’s all just so much. Maybe I should have nev—...”

“Kaiya!!” Came an urgent cry from outside my door. Bolting upright, I leaped to my door and slid it open as quickly as I could.

“What’s going on?” I asked, concerned. My eyes fell on none other than Renji and Izuru. At seeing Renji’s relaxed poster, I slowly scowled. “This isn’t an emergency, so, what? I just got back like ten minutes ago,” I grumbled.

“Yeah, I know, we’ve been waiting for you,” Renji snorted. I rolled my eyes.

“If you’re still worried about me, you can relax! I’m fine,” I barked, beginning to slide my door closed. His hand shot out and stopped it.

“No, we need you! We don’t have enough players for a game,” Came his hasty explanation. One of my eyebrows rose.

“Is it a drinking game, ‘cause I don’t really feel like it right now,” I responded, shrugging. He gave an exasperated groan.

“Oh, come on! It’s you or Rangiku, and you have way more control than she does when you’re drunk,” he pleaded. At the sound of her name, I snorted. Of course, the action was something I’d carried over from my previous life—I still didn’t care for her much. Not that I knew her personally when I was a hollow. Rather than verbally respond, I crossed my arms, an eyebrow still arched. “Please?” Renji desperately added. With a glance to Izuru, I noticed he still looked sullen. Yet, there was a small pleading look to him as well.

“Fine,” I sighed in frustration. “I’ll come so you guys can play but I’m not getting drunk,”

“Good enough!” Renji cheered. “Now let’s go!” The two of them led me away and to a building not far from my barracks.

I couldn’t be bothered to change, so I followed them in my loungewear. It wasn’t as though I was actively acting as Lieutenant anyway. We stepped onto the walkway just outside the door. Renji was sliding it open when Izuru stepped aside.

“I’ll have to go and get the drinks,” he told us, “I’ll be right back,”

“Alright, hurry back,” I responded. My arms had been crossed the entire time. My brother was gesturing for me to go inside.

“I have one more thing to do, too, so could you wait for us?” He asked. Again, I was rolling my eyes.

“I guess,” I snorted as I stepped inside. As soon as I was over the threshold, Renji closed the door. There were cushions set up by a table in the center of the room, but nothing more. I noticed another door on the opposite side but thought nothing of it.

“They better not take forever,” I grumbled as I sat on a cushion. Resting both of my elbows on the table, I supported my head in my hands. “This is probably better than stressing out at home though,” I admitted to myself. Not long after, I heard shuffling along the walkway. Oddly enough, it was near the other door. I shrugged it off.

“Renji? Hurry up already! I’m getting bored!” I called in the direction I’d heard the sounds from. As I thought, the secondary door was the one that opened. In the same instant, someone was shoved inside, and the door was slid shut immediately afterward. My eyes snapped open wide as I took in who was just thrown toward me. His own surprised stare fell on me as well. Then, simultaneously, we were shouting.

“Hisagi?!”

“Tsuki?!”

 

 

“Dammit Renji!! You open this door right now!!” I snarled, slamming my fist against it. The moment Shuhei had been thrown inside, both doors were locked tight. “Izuru!! Fucking open the door, you can’t lock me in here!!” I roared again. There wasn’t a word from either of them. “Oh, come on!!”

Meanwhile, without saying a word—or even glancing in my direction—Shuhei had sat on one of the cushions and folded his arms on top of the table. It seemed as though he was just going to wait it out. As I thought about it, it didn’t seem like a bad idea; I could probably sleep. Slowly, I removed my fist from the door. Then, with a deep scowl, I rushed to snatch one of the cushions and tucked myself into the farthest corner of the room from Shuhei. I made sure my back was to him the entire time.

“We’re not letting you out until the two of you talk!” Renji called. It was the first he’d actually spoken up. His taunting tone frustrated me even more. All I did was growl as I made myself comfortable. There was no way I would do that just because I was locked up. I didn’t need to be in my own room to have the rest I needed.

“Whatever,” I called back, closing my eyes. Thanks to my exhaustion, I fell asleep almost instantly.

 

 

 

_There was a familiar laughter buzzing in my ears. My entire body was shaking; a response to the excruciating cold I was experiencing. I was whimpering, my fingers and toes completely numb. It felt as though I was on the verge of freezing to death. The laughter was soft, distant, but it continued. I couldn’t place it, but I was certain it was one I’d heard before._

_“I-it hurts,” I gasped out. The numbness in my fingers was creeping up both of my arms. The laughter darkened, as if my pain was amusing. I couldn’t figure out where I was, but I did know I was sitting. My breathing was ragged, each one a pain in my chest because of the extreme cold._

_A sudden prick in my leg caused me to jolt. Apparently, I was restrained where I sat, because I could hardly move. As soon as it had come, the small pain was gone. The cold lingered, as did my shivering limbs. But, a new sensation was starting to grow. It was small at first, then began to grow at an incredible rate. My very veins began to feel as though they were on fire._

_“Brace yourself,” chuckled the familiar voice. It sounded right next to my ear—a taunting, evil sound. “This is really going to hurt~!” In the next instant, the burning sensation increased tenfold. The contrast between the extreme heat and the extreme cold was the most agonizing pain I had ever felt._

 

I woke up screaming, bolting upright and desperately looking in every direction. My cries of fear and agony began to subside when I realized the pain wasn’t there and I was still in the Seireitei. As I calmed, my eyes fell on Shuhei. He was watching me with a mixture of shock and concern in his eyes; it was the first he’d actually looked at me. My earlier anger was long gone, and I didn’t tear my gaze from him as I began to hug myself.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly. I was still breathing a little heavily.

“I, uh, it was a nightmare,” I told him, rubbing my shoulders. “I’ve never had one like that before,” I added, more to myself. His concern heightened as I moved my eyes to the floor, so much so that he began to scoot toward me, inch by inch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He offered. Slowly running my fingers through my hair, I began to shake my head. The fear had faded, my mind was wandering back to the reason I was mad at him. Suddenly, it didn’t seem worthy of anger. There were bigger things I was concerned with, and I didn’t need any animosity toward my own friends. As I thought, I was clenching and unclenching my jaw. My pride was going to take a huge hit just so I could apologize.

“Shuhei,” I started softly, “uh, I uh,” he was watching me intently as I struggled. “I guess I uh,”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he suddenly said. Blinking, I gawked at him. My reaction made him laugh, but I was still dumbfounded.

“B-but I thought—!” I stammered. Shuhei was shrugging.

“I was frustrated at first, but I don’t really care,” he explained, “there’s really no reason to be angry about it. Clearly you regret reacting the way you did, so it’s fine with me. No hard feelings?” His hand was outstretched toward me. Glancing between his open palm and his friendly gaze, I slowly reached out and took his hand. Then, I yanked him toward me.

As I planned, he fell forward, not expecting the sudden jerk. Before he could right himself, I leaned in so my chest was against his. In the same motion, I lifted my chin and kissed him. It was short and sweet, not lasting longer than a few seconds. I pulled away just as quickly as I had moved forward.

“I’m sorry,” I managed, sincere. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that, that day,” he was staring at me, bewildered. Then, he nodded slowly. Immediately after, he was leaning back toward me. I didn’t back away, instead, I leaned into him and we shared another kiss. Another short one, we pulled away and watched each other for only a moment before our arms were wrapped around each other and our next kiss was heated. Several more followed.

“What time is it?” I managed to ask between them. He’d backed me against a wall, a hand tight around my waist.

“Late, Renji and Izuru left hours ago—while you were asleep,” he responded, tucking his free hand into my hair.

“We could stay and—?”

“Way ahead of you,” he cut me off. Chuckling, I wrapped my arms tighter around him as I kissed him again. I’d never realized it before, but he was incredibly attractive. One more night with him wouldn’t hurt.

I needed some fun anyway.

 

 

****

 

 

At some point, the two of us had fallen asleep. When morning came, I was the first to wake—just like the time before. This time, however, I wasn’t angry and felt no need to lash out at him as I had previously. Instead, I remained relaxed and waited for him to rouse from slumber as well. I was actually at peace, if only for those moments. The longer I was alone with my thoughts, the more my fear and stress began to surface.

_I saved Momo, I hope, but what about everyone else? I can’t just warn one person!_

Shuhei’s sudden stirring forced me to sit up. But, I didn’t force him to wake—I allowed him to wake up on his own accord. As he did so, I began to put my kimono back on. As I pulled on a sleeve, his hand caught my wrist. Raising an eyebrow, I glanced at him curiously.

“Good morning,” he finally said, softly. Before he spoke, he was gazing at me. Something was different in his eyes, I could tell.

“Good morning,” I returned with a nod. “I don’t think Renji and Izuru have come back yet,” I added simply. He sat up, rolling his shoulders. The marks I’d left on him we’re still clearly visible. It made me snicker. Despite feigning the casual air about myself, my worry was still weighing heavily on my chest.

“Did you want to go and have a drink or something?” Shuhei offered as he dressed himself. It sounded like a nice thought, but I’d been away from my company for several days.

“I’d like to, but I can’t,” I replied, “but I have to tell you something, okay? Something extremely important!” His casual expression shifted.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“It’s going to sound really strange, but please hear me out!” His nod was all I needed. “You can’t trust Captain Aizen. He’s lying to everyone, every single one of you.” My voice was nothing but serious.

Shuhei looked shocked and confused. Of course, I couldn’t blame him with the facade that Aizen had put forth. But I knew the true Aizen. I still had enough memories to know he was not someone to trifle with. Despite my sincere warning, Shuhei looked at me like I was crazy.

“What do you mean? Captain Aizen is one of the kindest Shinigami in the Seireitei! Do you really think he would do something like that? Do you really think he can’t be trusted?” My eyes told him my answer, but he still didn’t seem convinced.

“You don’t have to believe me, but please, for my sake, be wary of him. At the very least do your best to be cautious and alert from now on, I don’t know what could happen,” I begged him. As he gawked at me, he sighed.

“I guess I can do that much,” he finally agreed. The relief was minimal, but it helped. “Do you know something about this, is that why you’re saying these things?” He added suddenly.

“You just have to trust me,” I quickly shut him down. Chi and Tamashi had already scolded me for simply warning Momo, I couldn’t risk much more than that. “I have to go, let’s hang out again, okay?”

After that, I fled from the room; the doors were no longer locked.

 

 

 

Even after my urgency to leave, I only returned to my barracks to change into my shihakusho. Rather than staying home, I found myself approaching the large gate of first company’s barracks. It had dawned on me that warning individuals one at a time wouldn’t be enough to make sure everyone was safe. It was far better to ask for an audience with the Captain General. If I could convince him to doubt Aizen's facade, then perhaps I could talk him into issuing a warning for the other captains and lieutenants. As I pushed open the gate, I noticed guards posted.

“I’d like to speak with Head Captain Yamamoto,” I requested formally. One stepped away to alert the Captain General while the other stayed behind with me. Patiently, I waited without another word.

“Go on inside,” the guard allowed gruffly, opening the door for me. With a nod, I stepped inside. I approached the Captain General, bowing as I greeted him. Then I sat on my knees and folded my hands in my lap.

“Lieutenant Tsuki, what is your business?” He asked, glancing at me.

“I’d like to request a warning for all Captains and Lieutenants, aside from Captain Aizen,” I began, keeping my head low.

“A warning about what?” His eyes were piercing me then. “And why leave out the Captain of fifth company?”

“It’s a warning about Captain Aizen, sir,” I explained, “you don’t have to believe me, but everyone should be warned at the very least!”

“What is it, get on with it,” he demanded.

“Captain Aizen is up to no good! He’s deceiving everyone in the Seireitei, he’s not who he says he is, sir!” I know it was important, but the desperation in my voice was a lot even for this kind of situation. “I think bad things are going to happen soon, and he will be the root of it!”

“Lieutenant Tsuki, what grounds are you basing these accusations on? Have you ever witnessed Captain Aizen doing anything suspicious? Do you have any evidence or proof?” He asked, voice serious. Yamamoto had even so much as leaned closer to me. Despite how much I tried, there was nothing I could tell him without revealing myself in the process. Slowly, my face began to fall.

“I,” I tried, but still couldn’t come up with a single piece of proof, “I… don’t,” I sighed.

“Then you have no business here and you are wasting my time,” He droned, “leave,”

“But he—!”

“Return to your company’s barracks, Lieutenant Tsuki,” Yamamoto demanded. With a short nod, I quickly rose to my feet and fled the room. Somehow, I managed to keep my tears from falling.

_Dammit!_

 


	9. Nine

 

Since my attempt at a formal warning failed, I spent the next couple of days trying to convince everyone I knew that Aizen was a fake. Most looked at me like I had a screw loose, and I couldn’t blame them. Aizen's facade was so elaborate it was nearly impossible to see through, even for me. Still, I continued to try. Momo was my biggest concern and she seemed the least likely to believe me.

Even Renji thought I was nuts.

“Come on Kaiya! Are you sure you’re not talking about your own Captain? He’s definitely a creep! Or what about that Mayuri, I’m sure he could do something nasty and none of us would expect it!” He tried to convince me otherwise.

“Renji!” I cried, “I’m serious about this! You’re my brother, please, can’t you believe me?” He groaned.

“I’m trying,” he grumbled, “but it’s not exactly easy. How could someone like him possibly be as awful as you describe?”

“You don’t know what I know,” I sighed. He rolled his eyes. Then, he fell against me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“I know you can’t tell me, so I’m sorry you’re scared. I’ll try and be careful, I promise,” he assured me. With a small nod, I leaned against him.

“Thanks, Renji,”

We were going to talk more, but, out of nowhere, a hell butterfly appeared. The small thing fluttered to Renji. It delivered a message to only him.

“What did it say?” I asked as it flew away. Renji was already on his feet.

“I have to go meet with my Captain,” his voice sounded urgent, and he was ready to bolt. But, as I looked closer, his brows were furrowed, and his face had paled. “We’re going to arrest Rukia,”

 

 

 

Renji had left and returned in no time at all. His exterior showed no change, but I knew this sudden occurrence was affecting him greatly. After all, she had grown with us, and the three of us had outlived our friends in the Rukongai. I also knew that he loved her. Not many of us knew exactly why she was arrested—Renji had yet to tell me—so we all hoped for the best.

The next several days, Renji hardly talked to anyone. If he didn’t have any work to do, he would go to the holding cells to see Rukia. His entire demeanor was off, and I was concerned for him. Even though I kept trying, I was never able to talk to him. At least, not until he came to me himself.

“Kaiya, I don’t know what to do,” he told me, his head the lowest I’d ever seen. Renji was standing just outside my door as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

“What do you mean?” I asked groggily. That day he seemed especially off.

“Kaiya, they’re gonna’ kill Rukia!” He cried out, suddenly gripping my shoulders. In the next instant, I was fully awake; my eyes wide.

“W-what do you mean?” I gasped, holding onto his arms in return.

“Central forty-six ordered her execution! Apparently, what she did for that random kid was a capital offense,” his face was falling again. “What do I do, Kaiya?”

Quickly, I racked my brain for any tiny sliver of a memory that could hold a clue about what was happening. I came up short each way I tried. There was nothing that I could remember or think of that explained the death of Rukia. I couldn’t even remember Gin telling me much about her at all. All I pulled was that Aizen was going to murder each member of the Central forty-six. _That couldn’t have happened yet, right?_

“Renji, I,” I started, desperately searching for words. Orders from central forty-six were absolute. No one could go against them, everyone knew that. “Renji—!” His hands fell away from my shoulders.

“I have to save her,” he said suddenly, “will you help me?” Renji’s pleading eyes bored into my own. Slowly, I was nodding.

“I will, Renji,” my voice was firm as I agreed. “I know she’s important to you,” _I know you love her_. “But that means you’ll have to deal with everyone who doesn’t oppose her sentence! Can you do that?” His fists instantly clenched.

“Of course I can!” He declared in pride.

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” I grinned. “Then let’s rescue Rukia together!”

 

 

 

It wasn’t long until Rukia was taken to the repentance cell. I noticed Renji growing more and more restless, especially because Rukia wasn’t allowed visitors. There was nothing I could do for him outright, though. He just needed to be patient as we figured out what we were going to do. We seemed to be formulating a solid plan, but the two of us were distracted as well. Renji was hung up on Rukia of course, but I was dealing with an overwhelming bout of unease.

Between my frequent discussions with Renji, I was still trying my damnedest to protect as many people as I could. As time progressed, I could constantly feel eyes on my back. Still, I knew it was important that I warned whoever I could. My unease only grew. Life in the Seireitei didn’t seem to change much aside from Rukia’s imprisonment.

Then, there were suddenly rumors of intruders attempting to break through one of the gates. The rumors took rise quickly, and when we saw the wall come down to stop the intruders, everyone knew it was true. Despite the seriousness of the matter, everyone put their faith in the giant in charge of that gate. Something wasn’t sitting right in my stomach, however, so while no one was paying attention: I snuck off to the gate to see just what was happening. When I made it there, I found the nearest hiding spot and took to watching.

At first, nothing seemed to happen. The wall stayed down, and I couldn’t hear anything from the other side. I was starting to think that maybe the intruders had left—realizing they probably weren’t capable of taking down one of Soul society’s giants. Then, Jidanbo’s fingers appeared underneath the gate. As it began to rise, I saw a figure approaching from the same way I had come from the corner of my eye. When I turned my head to have a better view, my jaw dropped.

“Gin?” I breathed in shock. Almost instantly, as if he’d heard my near silent voice, his focus snapped in my approximate direction. Quickly I covered my mouth in my hands and held my breath. _Why would he be here? Even if the gate is being opened, surely these intruders aren’t worth a captain’s intervention!_

Just like Rukia’s arrest, I had no recollection of anything like this. There was no memory, no story time with my beloved, nothing. I couldn’t grasp at any kind of explanation as to why he would be at that gate. _I know he’s part of this too, but why?_ Of course, he was part of it, that he told me himself.

The gate was almost completely opened then, and I could see out of it. There were four people standing near Jidanbo as he shouldered the weight of the gate. Three humans, one clad in a Shihakusho, and a black cat. The one donned in the soul reaper uniform I recognized almost instantly. There was no arrancar in Las Noches who didn’t know who that boy was. Aizen made a big show about the boy.

_Ichigo Kurosaki._

This time, I kept myself from an outburst that would likely have had me caught by my own captain. I had no business at that gate. Instead, I watched closely. There was a conversation going on, but I couldn’t hear it well. It seemed like Gin was reprimanding Jidanbo for his defeat, as well as him opening the gate. It seemed like an open and shut case until Gin drew his zanpakuto.

In the next instant, Jidanbo’s arm was severed and he collapsed onto one knee. I could barely see Gin’s blade extending for the cut. The moments following that, Ichigo threw himself at Gin. _Man, that kid is an idiot._ But, there wasn’t much of a duel. Gin parried Ichigo’s massive blade before he jumped back. Again, he was speaking, but I couldn’t hear what was said. And to everyone’s surprise—including my own—Gin began to walk away. My surprise faded when he didn’t sheath his blade.

“Hey! Where are you going?!” I could hear Ichigo's shouting. “Are you gonna’ throw that short sword or something?!”

“It’s not a short sword,” Gin wasn’t shouting, but I was far more focused and could listen to what was being said. “It’s my zanpakuto,” suddenly, he stopped, planting his feet. His body faced a wall, but his focus was on Ichigo. With his trademark grin, he took a stance I’d only seen once before.

“Skewer that punk, Shinsou,”

The next instant, his blade was extended right at Ichigo's chest. The kid didn’t see what was coming, but still managed to block it from piercing him. The force of the blade, however, sent him shooting backward. He landed against Jidanbo and Shinsou pushed the two of them out of the gate. Without Jidanbo’s support, the weight of it brought it plummeting down. Gin bent in time with the gate, waving to the almost intruders just outside it.

“Bye bye~!” He chortled.

I kept my eyes trained on Gin as he left the gate. My eyes carefully watched his every movement until he was out of sight. Then, I fled with my flash step. I could only hope no one knew I was there.

 

 

****

 

 

Renji was leaving the repentance cell. Rukia had just been imprisoned there. He rubbed the back of his neck as he left the tower. There was a lot on his mind, especially the doubt that he and Kaiya could rescue her. What would we even do after that?

“Hey!”

The sudden call broke Renji from his thoughts as he continued to walk. With a glance, he looked to where it had come from. It was Captain Aizen; he was waving.

“Hello,” he greeted, lowering his hand, “It’s good to see you, Renji. Do you have a moment?” Aizen led Renji into an empty room that was nearby. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? How many years since I lost you to squad eleven? You’re with six now, right?”

“Yeah, uh,” Renji was dumbfounded. Aizen hadn’t done much more than give him a passing hello from time to time since he had left fifth company. “What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

“You and Rukia are close, aren’t you?” Aizen suddenly asked.

“Uh, er, well,” Renji fumbled, caught off guard.

“You don’t have to hide it, I know you've been friends since your days in the Rukongai,” Aizen added as he closed the curtain of the room. “Let me get to my point,” Renji was nodding as he watched him closely. In the back of his mind, he could hear his sisters voice. Don’t trust Aizen. “Do you think Rukia deserves to die?”

“...What?”

“Think about it,” Aizen began to explain, “she was sentenced to death with the crime of loaning her soul reaper powers. I’ve never heard of such a punishment for crimes like that. And the use of the Sokyoku for a Shinigami below rank of Captain is unprecedented. I have a bad feeling,”

Renji was stunned beyond belief. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Everything Aizen was telling him was contradicting what he had heard from his sister. Captain Aizen was concerned for Rukia, someone who wasn’t even a ranked officer. Aizen was suspicious of something going on in the Seireitei, just as everyone else was. _Why can’t he be trusted?_

“I think—!” Aizen was about to continue, when a sudden announcement broke him from his speech.

_Emergency Captain meeting. Repeat: Emergency Captain meeting._

“Never mind, but thanks for listening,” Aizen smiled, then quickly left. Renji was still conflicted, but decided to brush it off, at least just for then.

 

 

****

 

 

Gin never came to the office. It was the first place I went after what had happened; after what I’d witnessed. I figured things would immediately be back to normal, but I was wrong. The sudden announcement for an emergency captains meeting only proved to me just how abnormal things were. There was paperwork, but I ignored it. The way things were going only worsened my growing anxiety.

There were too many things on my mind. First was Renji; I was so deeply worried for him and how often he was out and about. My mind was on Rukia, too. She was a close friend and her strange sentence left me puzzled. _What role does she play in all of this?_ Not only Rukia, but my growing fear of Aizen hurting my closest friends. And more recently, it was Gin—but not like before. I was growing a genuine nervousness for my own safety with him around. There was something about his very presence that felt eerily predatory toward me.

“What is going on,” I sighed. As I absentmindedly toyed with a loose pen, a sudden announcement rang out.

_All Captains! Emergency officers conference! Assistant captains are to wear their insignia and stand by in conference room two!_

It took me a moment to realize that also meant me. Although I’d been a Lieutenant for quite some time, it wasn’t often that we were also summoned. Of course, I was already wearing my badge, so I tugged it on tighter and I slid open the door. I still had yet to see my Captain since the incident at the gate and could only hope it wasn’t about that. With a sigh, I made my way to the conference room in first company’s barracks.

As I arrived, I could hear conversations between the few assistants who had also gathered. The voices I knew well were instantly Momo and Renji. She was asking if anyone had seen her captain yet, and those present disagreed. I was walking in after Rangiku, who also voiced that she couldn’t find her captain. It seemed as though Gin wasn’t the only one out doing his own thing.

“I’ve haven’t seen Captain Ichimaru either,” I grumbled as I stepped inside the room.

“They’re all running the Seireitei, it’ll take an entire day to gather everyone together,” Rangiku sighed, gesturing at the measly few of us that had already come together.

“Captain Aizen has been acting strangely lately,” Momo whispered, knees tucked into her chest as she sat on the floor. “I hope everything is alright,” As much as I wanted to, I decided it would be better if I refrained from repeating my warning to her right then. She seemed especially upset.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Renji cut in, “I heard it was Ichimaru that intercepted the intruder, so whoever it was is probably dead anyway,”

“If that’s the case, then you’re probably right,” I agreed in a lie. That kid wasn’t dead, I was sure of it.

“Besides—!” The sudden clanging of the emergency alarm broke Renji as he tried to continue.

_Emergency! Emergency! Intruder in the Seireitei!_

The warning was repeated several times as those of us gathered listened in alarm. A few of us rushed out of the conference room, looking for any signs of attack. We were in time to see none other than Kenpachi bolting from conference room one. Other captains spilled out from their meeting, but none with his velocity. He was likely searching to take down the intruders himself. Just as suddenly, the captains were issuing orders to us assistants, as well as the other squad members in the near vicinity. Still, I had yet to see Gin.

There was a sense of organized chaos as every available Shinigami began to prepare for battle against the intruders. I tried my best to help with what I could and stayed out of the way as the situation was handled. There were groups that formed and special attention was given to the most important places in the Seireitei. The preparations were done in such a manner that it seemed as though we were prepared for an attack from any direction at any time.

But there was never an attack.

Hours had passed since the alarms sounded, and not a single Shinigami had found an intruder. Confusion and rumors began to sweep through the battle-ready Shinigami. Many of us were beginning to believe it was a false alarm. In fact, I was waiting for the order to stand down and return to normal business. That is, until a horrible sound broke the stillness.

It was an awful screeching sound that made my ears ring. It tore through the air, sounding as though every inch of the Seireitei could hear it. In shock, we began to look to the sky, hoping to find a source. At first, it was the normal blank sky. Then, the screeching was replaced by a thundering sound of an explosion. The shock wave wasn’t much, but I did notice a few stumble from it. As we gawked, a bright light appeared above the dome barrier and pierced it.

“What is that?!” Someone called in shock. I couldn’t tear my eyes from it.

“It’s coming right for us!” Another shout.

“Momo, move everyone back and keep them safe,” that was Aizen—I wasn’t too far from where a clump of his squad had gathered.

“Yes Captain!” She called back dutifully, moving everyone to a safe distance. My feet remained planted where I stood. I was mesmerized by the sight of it. Then, it began to morph in the air. With one more thundering sound, the light split off in four directions; each soaring far from where I was. Afterward, the strange light simply faded away.

“The intruders are here,” I breathed.


	10. Ten

Sounds of fighting ensued shortly after the strange thing that blew through the barrier of the Seireitei. There were numerous sightings of the Ryoka, and battles broke out between them and the Shinigami that found them. I hadn’t come into contact with any of them—not that I was trying to. At one point, I could feel spikes of Ikkaku's reiatsu. He’d definitely intercepted one and it seemed like he had the upper hand. At least, it did at first.

The spikes were fewer and far between as I continued to feel for the battle. Then, Ikkaku's reiatsu was rapidly decreasing. In alarm, I jumped up from where I was; ready to bolt to his location. Another reiatsu signature stopped me, though. It was Yumichika. Of course, he was there, he would always be there.

“Stop getting distracted,” I warned myself in a sigh. This was a perfect opportunity and I was wasting it by worrying about my friends. The Ryoka running amok in the Seireitei was the perfect distraction for rescuing Rukia with Renji _. If only I could find that idiot_. I let out a small growl of frustration. Not once had I seen him since we were gathered in the second conference room. No one I’d asked had seen him either.

Despite not knowing where my brother was, I had convinced myself it could still be done. If I played my cards right, I could slip right passed everyone and sneak her away. The captains would be busy trying to keep everyone organized, while everyone else would be battling or preparing for battle against the Ryoka. No one would notice, at least, not right away.

_And then what?_

I jumped. After their last warning, my twin blades had been giving me the cold shoulder. They knew I went to the Captain General—knew I kept trying to tell people about the coming danger. I wasn’t expecting to hear from them so soon.

_You’ll get her out, unnoticed. Then what?_

“What do you mean?” I asked, bewildered.

_She’s sentenced to death, you break her out of her cell, then what are you going to do? You’ll be a criminal just as much as her. Where will you go? You can’t even find your brother. You have to think these things through! There’s nothing you can do_!

“But I have to—!”

_Kaiya, listen to Chi._

The voice of reason was never wrong. Tamashi was always calm and collected. The two shared the same wisdom, but she was better at telling me I was in the wrong. Chi was just as hot headed as I was.

“Renji needs her,” I admitted in defeat. “I’m doing this for him,”

_You need to be looking out for yourself! You’ve already dug yourself into a hole by ignoring our warnings! Don’t you see the way Ichimaru has been watching you?!_

She made me flinch—I had noticed. Whether it was in the office, or if I happened to pass him by while out doing my own things, his eyes were on me like a hawk. That same predatory stare, like he knew I was hiding something. Like perhaps he had overheard me warning others. It certainly didn’t seem like he was watching me for my sake either.

_You know he’s Aizen's messenger._

“I know, I just, I—!” A sudden shift caught me off guard. “Something's wrong, something is really wrong,” I breathed, immediately moving to my door and sliding it open. Outside was the Lieutenant for fourth company. His hand was raised as though he were about to knock.

“Please gather in the conference room for debriefing,” was all he said before moving on his way.

“Another meeting?” I asked the air as I closed my door and once again found myself walking to the conference room. When I arrived, I noticed nearly all of the assistant captains were gathered. Once we were settling, fourth company’s Lieutenant gathered our attention. Then, he pulled a written message out and began to read it aloud for us.

“Eleventh Company Third seat, Ikkaku Madarame and fifth seat Yumichika Ayasegawa of the same company; two upset seat officers have been incapacitated by battle wounds! Damage assessments are being prepared for all units, but it appears that eleventh company,” he paused as he read ahead, “has been nearly annihilated,”

“What? Eleventh?” I gasped, stunned. Momo looked horrified as she gasped in shock.

“How could these intruders inflict so much damage so quickly!” Shuhei exclaimed, just as concerned as the rest of us.

“We’ve confirmed three Ryoka so far,” fourth company continued, “it seems two of them have taken a member of my company hostage and are heading this direction,”

“I haven’t heard from my fourth seat in a while,” Lieutenant Iba cut in, “could you check in that for me?”

“Fourth seat? Wouldn’t that be Jirobo?” Rangiku asked.

“They got him too?” Iba returned in alarm. The entire situation seemed to overwhelm every one of us.

“What is going on?!”

“Who are these Ryoka?”

“Oh!” Momo gasped, gently grasping my sleeve. “Things are getting crazy,” she breathed, “huh, Kaiya, Renji?” As she said his name, she turned her attention to where he had been standing. I did as well. We both noticed that Renji was no longer in the conference room. “Renji…?”

“That idiot,” I sighed under my breath.

 

 

 

When the meeting was over, Momo and I both decided to look for Renji. I let her lead me to squad six barracks. Then, we made our way to the adjutant building where he stayed. Without a moment's thought, I beat against his door with my first.

“Renji! Are you in there!” I called. When I lowered my hand, there was silence. If he was inside, I was sure he would have answered. “I don’t think he’s here,” I admitted. Momo was nodding.

“Let’s go in anyway,” she said, moving to slide open the door. “You’re his sister, I don’t think he’ll mind too much,” I nodded at her proposal. When she slid the door open, his empty quarters greeted us. The two of us stepped inside, snooping around.

“Where would he have gone?” I grumbled, rubbing my head as I shuffled through his closet. Nothing of interest was inside, so I closed it again.

“Kaiya,” Momo said gently. Then, she held out something wrapped in cloth to me.

“What is it?” I asked as she pulled away a corner of the cloth. In her hand rested Renji’s lieutenant badge. “Why did he—?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed.

“We were ordered to wear them, I don’t understand,” I was grumbling again. “Set it back down where you found it, okay? I think I’m going to go look for him,” she nodded as she returned it to its place.

“I don’t think we should tell his Captain, or any Captain that he’s missing,” she told me, “I don’t want him to get into trouble,” Momo had her gaze set on the floor. I found myself nodding.

“I think that’s a good idea,” I agreed. “I’m going to go look for him and I’ll make sure my Captain doesn’t find out,”

“Okay, thank you,” she looked back up at me, her smile small and grateful. Flashing her a reassuring smile of my own, the two of us left Renji’s room. Then, I set off, waving as I went.

 

 

****

 

 

Almost an entire day had passed before I found my brother. I’d asked a few of the lower seat officers to accompany me as I searched for him. The sun was already setting when the four of us came across him. Renji was on the ground, covered in his own blood, and unconscious. When I saw that unmistakable red hair, I started running to him.

“Renji!!” I cried as I reached him.

“Lieutenant Abarai!” My officers immediately went to his aid as I stared at him in shock. “Quickly, lift him!”

“How could you let yourself be defeated like this, Renji,” I asked quietly, knowing he couldn’t hear me. “You got your ass handed to you,” I was trying to be playful, but seeing him in that state hurt. As I looked to the distance, I could see someone fleeing.

“Should we go after them, Lieutenant Tsuki?” One of my officers asked. Slowly, I was shaking my head.

“No, Renji needs our help first. Let’s take him somewhere safe,”

 

 

 

“Oh no,” Momo gasped, her hands on her mouth.

“I found him like this,” I explained quietly, “it must have been one of the Ryoka,”

While we were moving Renji, I sent one of the lower officers with me to fetch Momo and Izuru. They were Renji’s closest friends, and I figured they would want to know. Izuru was looking at Renji in concern while Momo had tears in her eyes.

“I’m going to call for Fourth Company to send an elite rescue unit,” I offered.

“That will not be necessary,” came a familiar voice out of nowhere. “Just dump him in a cell,”

“Captain Kuchiki,” Izuru and I gasped in unison.

“B-but, Renji fought the Ryoka by himself! He—!” Momo tried.

“No excuses,” Byakuya cut in. “He chose to fight alone knowing defeat was not an option. We have no use for beaten souls, now take him away,” As he was leaving, I could see Momo clench her fists.

“Wait—!”

“How could you say something like that about your own assistant?!” I barked, half in sincere outrage, half to keep Momo quiet. “Do you think that’s any way to act!”

“Kaiya! Shut up!” Izuru warned, pushing me back and stepping in front of me. Then, he bowed dutifully. “We apologize sir!”

“...my apologies Captain Kuchiki,” my voice was low, and I glared as I spoke. Byakuya left directly after.

“Oh my! He’s very scary!” Another voice chortled. We weren’t even given a moment to breathe before another Captain popped up from nowhere. I saw Momo jolt as I tensed as well.

“Captain Ichimaru,” Izuru sounded relieved. I certainly wasn’t.

“What was that all about? Sixth company’s Captain always acts like that,” Gin began waving his hand, “don’t worry about it! I’ll send word to fourth company. Come with me, Izuru. Kaiya too,” As Gin made his way out, Izuru’s dutiful air returned as he followed.

“Yes, sir!” He agreed as he went.

“Right,” I agreed as well, voice quiet. When they were a few steps ahead of me, I turned to Momo and put my hands on her shoulders.

“I have a feeling things are about to turn, so please, just remember what I told you, okay?” I stared my seriousness into her eyes. She gave me a small nod. Slowly, I released her and walked after Izuru and Gin.

“Th-thank you!” She called after us, though it was directed at Gin. I could hear him chuckle as he threw up his hand in a friendly wave.

 

 

 

When we reached the gate for our barracks, Gin stopped me in my tracks. I was confused, but he merely told me to wait for him where I stood. Not that I particularly wanted to, but he was my Captain. As I leaned against a nearby wall, I watched Gin and Izuru walk away and disappear into the barracks. Then, I sighed.

“Wonder what he needs Izuru for?” I asked the air. “I hope it doesn’t take too long, it’s getting dark again already,”

It was dark when my squad members and I brought Renji to an empty room after we’d found him. I didn’t want to disturb anyone, so I stayed with him there for the night before I sent for Momo and Izuru. A while ago I’d actually asked Izuru to teach me some healing Kido. I hoped it was enough to keep Renji stable while I waited. When morning came, my friends arrived.

It’d been nearly an entire day since then. The sun was close to setting. And time was continuing on as I waited. Eventually, I sat with my back against the wall. Thankfully, I’d left my twin blades behind, so they couldn’t disturb me while I was alone. Though, I wasn’t alone for much longer. The sun was on the brink of setting when Gin returned.

“Oh my, ya’ actually waited!” He chimed as he beckoned me. All I gave was a simple shrug. “Come on Lieutenant-Chan~!” I sighed inwardly. Then, we walked together to the office.

“Let me guess, I have a massive stack of papers waiting for me, don’t I?” I grumbled as we stepped inside. “Seriously this isn—!” The sudden slam of the door caught me off guard. The next instant, my jaw was caught in a nasty grasp. Although, it didn’t hurt. My heart lurched into my throat and began pounding at a vigorous pace.  _This isn’t another hallucination, right?_

My internal question was answered when I peeked my eyes open. They’d closed as a natural reaction to the sudden change. When they were open, a sinister grin filled my vision. That taunting smile was too close for comfort, but the grip on my jaw kept me from turning my head. His thumb rested against my lower lip, while two of his fingers pinned my chin so I looked up at him. My own fingers were trembling at my sides.

“Yer’ playin’ a real dangerous game here,” his voice was low and sinister; his expression piercing—as though knives were cutting through my flesh. “Ya’ shouldn’t be stickin’ yer’ nose where it doesn’t belong,” he continued.

My heart was racing, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to speak but I couldn’t find any words, or the breath to say them. It was as though I were being suffocated. His very presence was winding tighter and tighter around me; keeping me rooted where I stood and paralyzed in fear. Slowly suffocating me, like a true snake.

“I-I d-dont—?” My weak, pathetic attempt was cut short.

“Oh, Kaiya,” he almost sang, “don’t go an’ play dumb now,” as he spoke he leaned in even closer. Quickly, I squeezed my eyes shut. Gin let out a chuckle that sounded almost like a delighted giggle.

“I know what ya’ told Hinamori,” he whispered directly into my ear, “Hisagi, an’ that brother’a yers’ too,” Gin paused as my fear continued to consume me. Chi’s voice was echoing in my head. _He’s Aizen's messenger._ “I know ya’ went to Captain General, too,”

Keeping my eyes shut tight, I clenched my jaw. His grip on me didn’t falter. The closeness was beginning to overwhelm me. I could feel my legs growing weak; if it lasted much longer I’d probably collapse. For the first time since I opened my eyes after my near death, I felt nothing but fear for the man standing over me.

“I ain’t gonna’ make ya’ talk,” he cooed into my ear, “at least, not yet,” Gin chuckled at that. “But yer’ on thin ice right now, Kai-chan~!” I flinched at the nickname. “If I were in yer’ shoes, I’d watch my back an’ quit talkin’. I know ya’ got somethin’ yer’ hidin’ an’ I’ll figure it out if ya’ keep this up,”

Suddenly, he released me. I couldn’t catch myself, I didn’t have the strength. Instead, I allowed myself to fall to my knees. I kept my head down, eyes still shut. Gin loomed over me, I could feel him lean down to be closer to me.

“Do me a favor, will ya’? Keep quiet tomorrow an’ I won’t haf’ta punish ya’!” Then, I heard him step away and to the door. “Now go an’ get some rest,” he ordered. As he slid open the door, he paused.

“Oh, right! Don’t forget to carry yer’ zanpakuto, there’s been a wartime exception since Renji was defeated an’ all! Bye now~!” He chortled as he left the office.

I was left alone on the floor, breathing heavily, begging for my heart to slow.

 

 

****

 

 

Night had fallen in the Seireitei. Most of the inhabitants would likely be in their homes, asleep or close to it. Despite late hours drawing near, Captain Aizen had work to do. By lamplight he was writing a message in a very particular manner. He was interrupted by a slight shuffle and a small presence. With concern, he looked to his door; a slight shadow could be seen.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” He asked, “Miss Hinamori?” As soon as she was addressed, Momo slid open Aizen's door.

“I’m sorry,” she started, “May I speak with you for a moment?” She asked kindly. “I know it’s late and this is rude of me,” Momo continued as Aizen watched her in shock. “I-I won’t sleep! I won’t be rude and fall asleep in front of you, Captain!” Momo was suddenly flustered; closing her eyes and lowering her head as she spoke. Her eyes snapped back open when she suddenly felt her Captain place his coat over her shoulders.

“Please,” Aizen said gently, “do you think I’d send you away for being rude? Do you think I’m that cold-hearted?” Slowly, Momo lifted head; her cheeks flushed slightly in embarrassment. “Come in, you must have had a difficult day today. Stay here until you’ve calmed down,” her captain offered, allowing her to enter.

 

 

“I hear that Renji is going to live,” Aizen announced. Momo had settled in and he had returned to his writing.

“Really! Thank goodness,” Momo sighed in relief.

“Captain Byakuya called for his discharge, but it was met with opposition,” her captain explained as he wrote. “As soon as his injuries heal, he can return to the main force,”

“Opposition? Was it you, Captain?” She asked, curiously, even leaning toward her superior.

“Not just me,” Captain Aizen returned with a smile. “He’s a good fighter and well-liked by everybody. Nobody wants to see him discharged,”

Momo was smiling fondly. Her fears had been soothed and she allowed herself to be lost in her thoughts. The warning from her friend slipped away. _She’s mistaken—Captain Aizen's words, his voice, everything about him soothes my fears. He can be trusted, I should have never doubted that. Maybe she has some vendetta against him._ She sighed blissfully _. I’m glad I came here tonight. I’m happy to work under you, Captain Aizen._

Unknowingly, Momo slipped into a peaceful night’s sleep.  


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A close friend of mine created a beautiful cover for Reincarnation! Check it out here and show her some love (:   
> http://fav.me/dd0ytkf

Like I thought, I didn’t sleep for even a minute that night. Gin’s words echoed over and over in my mind. My heart never did calm down. Even as I was readying myself for morning assembly, my limbs trembled slightly. _What happens today? Why today specifically?_ Based on my memories, many things could happen. Sighing, I tried to block my overwhelming anxiety and left my room.

Assembly was always near first company’s barracks in the court. It wasn’t that far off from where I was. The walk was easygoing, and I noticed a few of my fellow assistant captains had already gathered. We shared mutual greetings as we waited together. Then, as I was glancing around, I noticed a familiar face wasn’t present.

“Hey, where’s Momo?” I asked to anybody who wanted to answer. “She’s usually one of the first people here,” I added as an afterthought. A few of us shrugged.

“Maybe she slept late,” Shuhei said casually. _Not very like her though._

“I don’t think—!”

 A sudden, blood curdling scream rang out in the distance.

Each of our attentions snapped in the direction it came from as we jolted in alarm. The sound lasted several seconds and sounded horrifying. My blood ran cold as I listened to it. Several of us immediately ran toward the sound.

“What was that?!”

“That sounded like it came from the east holy wall!”

As I ran with my colleagues, I began to feel sick to my stomach. _That was… it was Momo’s voice!_

I pushed myself to the front of the pack as we rushed to the east holy wall. As a group we reached it quickly. We were rounding the corner that opened up to the wall when I called out for her.

“Momo! What is it! What happened!” Then, as we cleared the short distance, we all froze in our tracks. In unison, we gawked at the impossible sight before us.

High on the wall was none other than Aizen—dead. His blood trailed from his lifeless body all the way down the wall. We stared in disbelief and horror.

“C-ca... Ca…” Momo was whimpering between heavy breaths as she also stared at the sight before her. “Ca... Ca…!”

“Captain Aizen!!!” She cried out. Then, she immediately ran to the wall, putting her arms against it and looking up at his body as it hung there. I could see tears streaming from her eyes. “Noooooo!!!” She wailed. “Captain Aizen!! Captain Aizen!! No!! No, no!!” She continued to cry in shock and disbelief.

I was still stuck in my own shock. The sight was horrific; I couldn’t process it. Even while I was being overwhelmed, a nagging sensation brought me back to reality. _This isn’t real. It wasn't real—we were all being tricked._ Quickly shaking my head, I remembered that what I was seeing was all part of a much bigger lie. I also quickly realized that what I was seeing meant I was under Aizen’s spell just as much as anyone else. _But when?!_ I asked myself in terror. Then, I pushed the fear from my stomach. My succumbing to Aizen’s Kyoka Suigetsu didn’t matter just yet.

“Captain Aizen!!” Momo cried out again, her voice turning more to despair than shock. I rushed to her, pulling her from the wall.

“Momo! Look at me! Listen! It’s not real!” I urged in my own desperation. “It’s a trick!! I swear, it’s just a trick, he’s not really dead!” I pressed as she stared into my eyes with her tear-filled ones. “Aizen isn’t dead! This is all a trick!” Suddenly, her sad eyes were filling with anger.

“Was it you?” She asked, voice hard. “Was it, Kaiya? You tried to make me doubt him, to distrust him, so many times! Was it you?! Did you do this!!” Her expression was hardening fast, her tone growing with fury.

“What?” I gasped, “What, no! I would never do something like this! It’s not real!! Aizen did this himself, you have to listen to me!! Momo, please!”

“Shut up!!” She roared, reaching for her zanpakuto at her hip and backing away from me. “How could you?! How could you say this is fake!!” More tears were spilling down her cheeks as she pulled her blade from her sheath. “You did this!! You told everyone he couldn’t be trusted, then you did this because you didn’t trust him!! Snap, Tobiume!!” Then, she lunged at me, firing a ball of flame from her zanpakuto. The moment she released her blade, mine were in my hands and I was releasing them.

“Tamashi!” I cried desperately as the fireball whizzed toward me. Thankfully, with my right blades help, I was able to absorb most of it. The rest exploded, giving me slight burns on my arms. As the smoke faded, I looked for Momo. “Please, stop!! I’m not here to fight! You have to listen to me! I didn’t do this!!”

“Liar!” She shrieked before running at me. I held up my blades defensively as she rushed me. During her attacks, I could hear mumbles from the other assistant captains.

“She told me not to trust him too,”

“How can we know for sure she didn’t do it?”

“Did anyone know where she was last night?”

“What’s all this noise so early in the mornin’?” A new voice suddenly emerged. Momo’s attention snapped to Gin as he approached. “What’s goin’ on?” As I watched her, something in her eyes shifted. It looked as though she was remembering something. I could faintly hear her whisper beneath her breath.

“‘Shiro…Third Company...Ichimaru,”

“Momo, please,” I urged once more, but she didn’t hear me.

“You!!” She roared. “You had part in this too!! You did this!!” Suddenly, she was rushing Gin, bringing down her blade.

The clang of steel on steel rang out as I parried her attack. My breathing was heavy thanks to her previous attacks. I stood defensively in front of Gin as she stared at me. Then, her eyes narrowed once more.

“Kaiya, step aside,” she warned. I shook my head gently.

“He didn’t do this either! I’m telling you, this is a trick!! He’s not dead!!” As I spoke, I walked toward her. Momo’s earlier fury was returning with each step I took.

“Just get out of the way!” She demanded.

“I won't!” I called back firmly. Then, with a battle cry, she was rushing me again. This time, I took an offensive stance as she brought up her blade to strike me. I raised my right blade as well, her command on my tongue. But, our attacks never connected.

Another captain had arrived. Captain Hitsugaya blocked my attack with his own zanpakuto, while his foot pinned Momo’s to the ground. There was a deep scowl on his face as he looked between the two of us. His irritation radiated through the entire gathered group.

“That’s enough. Don’t move, either of you,” he barked, “arrest them, both of them!”

The instant the command was made, I could feel Shuhei’s arms lock around me—he was the closest to me. I was pinned in a way that restricted my arm movement. My zanpakuto were confiscated in the same motion. As I glanced to her, I saw Momo in the same situation. She was in the custody of Rangiku. Then, without a moment wasted, we were being escorted to the prison cells. They kept us quite a distance apart as we were.

“I’ll report this to the Captain General,” Toshiro announced. I looked back and saw him talking to Gin, but I couldn’t hear anything that was said. Before we were separated and taken to our respective holding areas in our barracks, I heard Momo speak.

“How could you?” Was her broken whisper. Then, she and her captors disappeared behind a corner.

 

 

****

 

 

As I sat alone in my dimly lit holding cell, I didn’t know what to think. Hours had passed since I’d been locked away and no visitors had arrived. Not that I expected any. Sitting on my knees, with my back to the door, I put my head in my hands. _How can I protect them now? I’m sure some of them believe I was the culprit._

_Look what you’ve done!_

The sudden snarl made me jump. Looking to my left, I saw the glowing wolf standing over me. Her hackles were raised, and a low growl rumbled deep in her chest. A piercing eye stared me down as the obvious anger radiated in the small space. Quickly, I looked away, tucking into myself.

“Chi,” I whispered gently.

_You’ve been arrested! You’re injured! You caused a scene in front of all the assistant captains and two captains!_

Her snarls shifted to roars as she began to pace around me. Chi’s movements were slow and predatory. Tucking my knees into my chest, I crossed my arms and placed my head on top of them. I kept my eyes lowered. The growling deepened.

_How many times have we had to warn you?! And you still end up here!_

I flinched at that. Glancing around to avoid Chi’s glare, my eyes fell on another glowing wolf. She sat in the corner of the cell, tall and proud as she always had. Her eye was on me, but she was silent. I flashed a pleading call in my own and her expression was sympathetic for only a moment.

_Tell me why you act so impulsively!_

“Bad things are going to happen,” I told her, finally meeting her eye. Despite being a wolf, I could clearly see her scowl.

_It has nothing to do with you. They would have left, and everything would have been fine!_

“What do you mean! I was trying to help my friends! Gin told me,” I lowered my head again, “Gin told me Momo was going to be hurt by Aizen himself,”

_You have to accept this fact! Your lover is gone! He couldn’t come with you! He is in that life with your baby, and you are here! The Gin in this life wants nothing to do with you!_

My chest tightened at her words. She had taken steps toward me so that now we were face to face. As I stared deeply into her glaring eye, tears welled up into my own.

_Chi, that’s enough._

Tamashi’s calm voice tore through the tension. Quickly blinking away my sadness, I put on a hard expression. Then, I lifted my head and shoulders. Exhaling deeply, I let go of my own tension.

“No, she’s right,” I said softly, “I’m never going to have that life back. Seikatsu gave me a new one so I should accept it. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and let my new friends get hurt,” Chi was still growling. Then, suddenly, her jaws snapped at my arms. But they didn’t worsen my injuries, instead, her teeth healed what was already hurt.

_This isn’t over. I’m worried about that Gin. He’s been watching you like a hawk._

“I know that,” I muttered.

“Know what~?” Came an unmistakable chortle suddenly. With a gasp, I leapt to my feet, turning to face him. Chi and Tamashi were nowhere in sight. Their blades stashed outside of my cell.

“What are you doing here, Gin,” I asked cautiously.

“Aw, ya’ sound like ya’ don’t want my help,” he giggled. Although bars separated him from me, I took up a defensive stance. Though, I didn’t know how much I could do without my swords. “But I didn’t come here ta’ help ya’,” he added, stepping closer. I instinctively took a step back.

“Then why are you here?” I pressed. His grin widened.

“I gave ya’ a clear warnin’ now didn’t I? But ya’ went an’ opened yer’ mouth, Lieutenant-Chan!” Gin chimed. “I have no choice but ta’ punish ya’! But right now, there are other pressin’ matters,” he explained. “Ya’ see, we know ya’ know more than ya’ should. So ya’ have a choice. Follow me, do as I say, an’ ya’ can live for a lot longer,” he offered. “Or, ya’ refuse, an’ die. Right here, right now,” the tone of his voice screamed the utmost seriousness, and his grin only added to his sinister atmosphere.

“I-I don't,” I tried.

“If I were in yer’ place, I would pick death,” he cut me off, standing directly in front of the bars. Suddenly I glimpsed the striking blue of his opened eyes. The sight only lasted for a moment though. My chest tightened; it felt as though he looked directly to my core.

_He’s bating you._

The sudden voice in my thoughts freed me of the suffocating aura flowing from Gin. Tamashi was wise and could see dangerous situations easily. Gin’s warning was probably true—if I followed him I walked down a path worse than death. Even so, I wasn’t just going to give up. I can’t die here. Not now.

_Kaiya—_

“I’ll go,” I agreed firmly. “I’ll go with you,” I repeated, keeping my head up. My pride didn’t falter. “I can handle anything you have planned for me,” my voice was low as I glared at him. Unexpectedly, my stand was met with dark laughter.

“Oh, Kai-chan,” he nearly sang, before his exterior took a sudden change and his signature grin turned a shade of evil I had never seen. “I don’t think ya’ can,” something in his voice made my blood run cold. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t prevent the quaking in my limbs. The suffocating aura returned as the cell door opened. As I stepped out and allowed him to lead me from the detention center, I couldn’t help the flood of fear that I had made the biggest mistake in my life.

 

 

 

“Should we be out in the open like this?” I asked, glancing around as my anxiety spiked. “You just busted me out of my cell,”

“Relax,” Gin chimed. We continued walking in the night. My worry prevented me from knowing the direction we were headed. It was quiet around us; the hour was late, and many Shinigami were likely in their respective homes. I opened my mouth to speak again, but I was cut off by a sudden voice.

“I knew I’d find the two of you together,”

At the sudden sound, I jolted. Gin wasn’t fazed as Captain Hitsugaya stepped into view.

“Just as I thought,” he continued, glaring at Gin. “Only Tsuki’s cell was opened from the outside. You didn’t cover your tracks very well, Gin,”

“Wha—?” I tried but was left unheard.

“Cover my tracks?” Gin snickered. “I did that on purpose,” he revealed, grin widening, “so ya’d know,” Toshiro’s scowl deepened. The air around us began to grow thicker as the two captains stared each other down.

“I’m glad I got here before Hinamori,” Toshiro told him. “I’m going to kill you before she gets here,” as he spoke his tone grew hard and he reached for the handle of his zanpakuto. Gin didn’t even attempt a move—I couldn’t tell if it was more intimidating if he had. Suddenly, a figure came from nowhere and landed between the two of them. As the dust settled, the familiar appearance of Momo met our gazes.

“Hinamori—!” Toshiro gasped in shock.

“Momo—!” I called, trying to warn her, but Gin’s hand twitched ever so slightly, and I quickly quieted myself.

“I’ve finally found you,” came her soft voice. “So, this is where you were,” Momo stood, her head down. Then, she turned to Gin.

“Stop! Hinamori!!” Toshiro warned. “He’s too strong! Stack back, let me deal with him!” As he shouted, she gripped the handle of her blade and slowly pulled it from its sheath at her hip. “Hinamori!!” The next instant, Momo faced Toshiro.

Her blade was aimed at the smaller captain.

She held it still, just above his shoulder. The sharpened steel was pointed at his neck. My eyes were wide as I stared. Momo’s stance was firm and unforgiving. I could see tears well in her eyes.

“Hina….mori…?” He asked slowly, face filled with astonishment and concern. I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke.

“This is for Captain Aizen,”

 

 

****

 

 

_If you are reading this, then I am probably dead. Therefore, I confide the truth of what I have discovered to the one I trust the most. The truth about why Rukia Kuchiki must be executed, and why the execution date keeps changing. The true goal of the execution is not to kill Rukia Kuchiki. The execution has been contrived so that something may be stolen._

_That thing is the Sokyoku._

_The Sokyoku, whose seal is only removed for executions, has the destructive power of one million zanpakuto in its blade. The execution stand has the defensive power to block an equal number of zanpakuto. Furthermore, when used to execute a Shinigami, it’s power can be momentarily increased by several dozen times. The one who plotted Rukia’s execution intends to use the Sokyoku to destroy not only the Seireitei, but the entire soul society as well. The name of that despicable person is…_

“Toshiro Hitsugaya,” Momo paused her recitation to glare at the captain she just named. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she did. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was the biggest lie anyone could come up with, yet, based on her appearance, it looked like she took every word to heart.

“Momo, no, that’s not—!” I tried desperately, even taking a few quick steps toward her. Without missing a beat, Gin stick his arm out to stop me in my tracks. In response, I clenched my jaw in a grimace and stopped where I stood. I could almost hear him say: _ya’ said ya’d do as I say_. Despite being foiled, Momo’s attention was on me. Her tear-filled expression was soft and begging for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, Kaiya,” she told me softly, “I’m sorry I thought it was you. I hope my outburst didn’t affect our friendship,” her voice was sincere. My expression broke. Before I could say anything, Toshiro was speaking again.

“Captain Aizen...said that in his letter?” He gasped, still reeling. Her focus snapped back to him.

“Yes. And it went on,” she explained, voice hard once more. “It said: ‘tonight I have called him out to the sacred eastern wall. I must foil his plan at all costs. If he will not back down I am prepared to cross swords with him.’” Toshiro’s expression grew more and more stunned as she spoke. Then, her voice began to slow. Emotion began to rise in her words.

“‘But if I die…’” she recited, “‘Hinamori, please carry on for me...and kill him.’” More tears spilled from her cheeks. Still, she continued, even slower this time. “‘That is…my last wish. I ask this of you...not as captain of fifth company…’” she inhaled as her hands trembled around her tightly gripped sword. “‘But...as a man.’” Her voice quivered with the last statement. It was silent for only a moment before she let out a war cry unlike any I had ever heard from her. Momo threw her arm up into the air, wielding her sword. When she swung, an immediate explosion erupted.

The resulting dust cloud began to fade and the two were visible again. Toshiro had taken quite a leap back to avoid her attack. His shock had melted, and frustration had taken its place.

“Are you crazy, Hinamori?!” He shouted at her. Think about it! ‘I’m dead so avenge me’?! You think Aizen would ever say that?! The Aizen I knew wasn’t an idiot who’d start a fight he couldn’t win!! He wasn’t a coward who’d make his subordinates clean up his mess!!” Momo stepped from the dust and rushed him.

“But!” She cried, “That’s what it said! I didn’t misread it!!” More tears fell as she swung at him. “It was Captain Aizen’s handwriting!” Toshiro dodged her swing, so she charged him again. “I didn’t want to believe it!!” She swung again. Then another. “But it was his last wish!!” And again, she was running at him. “Captain Aizen, I—! I... I…” her shouts lowered.

“I... don’t know what to think anymore... Shiro…” she sobbed. Toshiro blinked as she visibly began to break down. In the same instant, she let out another war cry before firing another fireball from Tobiume. To evade the impact, Toshiro leaped into the air. He wore an expression of utmost frustration as he stood in the air. Then, he turned his head in our direction. His eyes fell on gin, who was grinning like always. Instantly his expression shifted to rage.

“Is this more of your work, Ichimaru?!!” He roared. Toshiro flew at Gin at an incredible speed. I braced myself, hands clutching my swords in defense, but my captain didn’t even flinch. Ready for an attack at any second, my eyes snapped wide in shock when Momo flashed in front of the smaller captain. He himself was taken aback. As Momo went to swing her blade, I could see Toshiro’s jaw clench. Then he struck her.

The two of them returned to the walkway—Momo landed brutally and in a heap. She was unconscious. Toshiro landed on his feet, his glare flashed at us before he looked at what he’d done.

“That wasn’t nice, Captain,” Gin tsked as he grinned. “Ya’ didn’t have ta’ hit the poor girl so hard, did’ja?”

“Ichimaru,” Toshiro spat, “what are you up to?” Again, his jaw clenched. “Aizen just wasn’t enough for you. You had to make Hinamori suffer, too,” he tightened his hands into fists. “She was gripping her sword so hard she’s bleeding. You’ve gone too far,”

“Why, I don’t know what yer’ talkin’ about,” Gin chuckled. Toshiro took a step toward us.

“I warned you, Ichimaru,” he said slowly. With speed I almost couldn’t track, he unsheathed his sword, then began shouting. “That if you made her bleed, I’d kill you!!” As a response, Gin sighed.

“My, my, Captain of Tenth Company,” he breathed, finally moving. His hands went to his own sword as he bent his knees. “If ya’ draw yer’ sword here, I’ll be forced to stop ya’,” his voice in my ears sounded eager. For a few moments, they watched each other closely, hands on their weapons.

“Captain,” I breathed quietly, voice hesitant.

“Stay back, Kaiya,” he instructed. “Ya’ don’t want to die, yet, do ya’?” Whatever voice I had left was caught in my throat.

“Don’t be stupid,” Toshiro snorted, “staying back isn’t good enough.” He flung his sword to the side, holding it straight. “Disappear! When you can’t see us anymore, keep going.” Concern creeped through my veins. Two hands were on his sword then. “If you’re within sight, I can’t guarantee I won’t end up killing you,”

The next instant, he was in the air. Gin followed his movements, watching from where he stood. Genuine fear took hold of my stomach and twisted it.

“Reign over the frosted heavens,” Toshiro called as ice and water began to form from his own reiatsu, “Hyourinmaru!!” The mixture of ice and water exploded around him, becoming a giant dragon that swirled around him in the sky.

My heart pulsed in my throat as I gawked at it. I’d never had the chance to witness Captain Hitsugaya’s abilities before—it was my first time seeing it. It was so powerful it could even control the weather. If I wasn’t in immediate danger, I’d say it was beautiful. _So, this is the ultimate water and ice type zanpakuto...Hyourinmaru!_ Of course, in my staring, I failed to notice the dragon suddenly shooting toward me.

_Move!!_

With a startled gasp, I jumped away from the area as fast as I could. Unfortunately, I wasn’t fast enough. Upon impact, the water and ice dragon splashed up a huge wave of the frigid water. Much of my lower body was drenched as I took to the air. I managed to climb fairly high before I looked down at my water covered legs. In the same instance, the water shifted to ice and creeped up my legs to my waist. As it did so, a searing sensation emerged. It felt as though it was fire wrapped around my legs instead of ice.

“Aghh!!” I cried out as the pain worsened. The ice blocked the reiatsu I was pumping to my feet as well. Because I couldn’t support myself in the air, I began to plummet. Painfully, I collided with the unforgiving ground. I landed on my front, my arms folding painfully beneath me, then rolled onto my back with the rest of the momentum. Several agonized groans came from me as the ice around my legs cut into my skin and drew blood.

In contrast to my difficulty, Gin avoided the attack and appeared on top of the nearest building. Shockingly, his grin wasn’t present. As I laid on the ground, incapacitated, I watched them. Toshiro attacked again, sending more frigid water at Gin. It seemed like he avoided it once again until I noticed the chain of Toshiro’s zanpakuto wrapped around his left arm. I gasped, thinking the battle was already coming to an end.

“Pierce him, Shinsou,” Gin commanded suddenly. With lightning speed, his blade ripped through his Haori, aimed at Toshiro’s eye. I didn’t see him move, but the next moment, the smaller captain was on his back; his sword held above him detouring Gin’s. “Are ya’ sure ya’ want ta’ dodge it?” Gin asked, tone almost mocking. “The girl will die,”

“Hinamori!!” Toshiro cried in realization as his eyes flicked to the trajectory of Gin’s blade. My own eyes were wide in disbelief as I watched it zoom toward her at an incredible speed. Quickly, I squeezed them shut, not having the heart to see my friend’s demise.

A small but very distinct sound of steel colliding with steel made me open my eyes again.

“I’m sorry captain,” Lieutenant Matsumoto began, “I was returning to my quarters like you ordered when I felt Hyourinmaru’s reiatsu and had to come back,” Gin watched her with a blank expression. “Please withdraw your sword, Captain Ichimaru, or you’ll have to deal with me,” silence met her request.

Then, Gin was grinning again.

 

 

 

“‘Follow me’ he says,” I spat as I chipped away the remainder of the ice attached to my legs. “‘Do as I say’ he says,” I growled in frustration. “Then just fucking disappear and leave me stranded! Real fucking nice!” Anger radiated from me as I dragged myself to my feet. As the pain stung, I hissed, but remained standing. “Fucking Matsumoto shows up and it’s time to go, huh?!” I snarled.

After Rangiku made her request, Gin grinned. Then he retracted his blade. He’d turned his back to them—to me as well. Toshiro’s glare had returned, and he jumped back to his feet, shouting for Gin to stop.

“Instead of chasin’ me,” Gin had said, “ya’ should see ta’ yer’ little friend there,”

“Then he fucking disappeared without a word!!” I roared, throwing my arms up in frustration. “Left me stranded, hardly able to walk,” I sighed, frustration beginning to fade. “Ice hurts man,” I whined, “better stay on Captain Hitsugaya’s good side,” I joked. “Yeah, right,” running a hand through my hair, I began taking slow steps toward third company’s barracks. “Guess I’ll just go to the office,”

Despite my slow pace, it didn’t take very long to reach the gate. Once inside, I could see that the office was lit _. I knew it._ Gin was waiting for me. Whatever business he had with freeing me still awaited me.

“What took ya’ so long?” He chimed as I slid open the door.

“What do you think?!” I growled at him, gesturing to my torn and tattered shihakusho and my blood covered legs. He must have found it amusing because he was chuckling.

“I did tell ya’ ta’ stay back,” he remarked with a shrug. “Though what Hitsugaya said was probably more accurate,” He snickered. Rolling my eyes, I slumped onto the couch, keeping my back to him. “Don’t’cha get comfy now,” Gin added as response.

“What now,” I whined, “What do I have to do? Just punish me or whatever, right? ‘Follow me’, follow you where?” I protested.

“I think ya’ might be forgettin’ yer’ in a serious situation here,” Suddenly, his tone was sinister. “Ya’ had ta’ go an’ pick livin’ and I told ya’ that ya’d have ta’ listen,” despite being a few feet from him, his voice was coiling around me like a hungry snake. “I’m bein’ nice ‘cause ya’ got a lot comin’,” he implied vaguely. “We ain’t too happy with ya’,” he added.

“We…?” My stomach dropped. Of course, he meant Aizen. It wasn’t just Gin, it never had been. Whatever was going to happen to me would be by more than just that snake. I had a sinking feeling that my “punishment” wouldn’t take place in the Seireitei, either. Slowly, I stood back on my feet, but I didn’t turn.

“Take this an’ put it on,” Gin instructed, “make sure that hair’a yers’ is covered. Then follow the directions on this,” I heard a sheet of paper. “I ain’t goin’ with ya’, I have other things ta’ do first,” He was standing in front of me, then. In his outstretched hands was a dark cloak and the paper I’d heard. “Leave now an’ don’t make a sound. When ya’ get there, wait just inside the door for me,” he explained. “Don’t take that off, either,”

“...Okay,” I complied softly. Accepting my agreement, he strode to the door.

“Oh, an’ be careful, because Hitsugaya is probably goin’ there, too,” Gin giggled, then closed the door behind him. With shaking hands, I unfolded the cloak he’d given me. Inside was another shihakusho; clean and neat. I sighed.

“And to think I was hoping I’d get off easy,” I whispered to myself. Sighing, I set down the uniform and cloak. I braided my white hair behind me, then put on the new uniform. Uncertain as to why, I put on my assistant captain badge as well. Then, I donned the cloak. It was a lot heavier than I thought, but I didn’t mind. Finally, I pulled the hood over my head so that it concealed my face and hair.

“Okay,” I breathed, “time to go.” Lifting the paper from where I set it, I read the instructions.

_Go to the building that houses the Central 46. The door will be open tonight._

“Oh no,” I gasped as I could hear my Gin’s voice echoing in my head. _Aizen used that buildin’ ta’ hide before we defected._ “When he said follow, is this what he meant?” Panic seized, but I desperately tried to push it away. “No, no, no, it has to be something else,” I urged, shaking my head. “Don’t think, you chose this, now move,”

Into the dark of the night, I fled the office; my destination the Central Forty-Six.


	12. Twelve

_“Momma, Momma!” An adorable baby boy bounded toward me from the other side of our home. “Daddy’s coming today, right?”_

_“That’s what he told me,” I grinned. When he threw up his arms, I giggled and scooped him up off the floor. “Why?”_

_“I wanna’ show Daddy my trick!” He cheered in excitement. “Will he like it?”_

_“Of course he will, Akai! How about this, I can take you to go practice your trick, so it’ll be even cooler when Daddy gets here! Sound good?” His bright beaming face was all I needed as an answer. “Alright, then I’ll make the magic phone call and then we can go!” I announced. Akai squealed in joy. With a bright smile, I tousled his untamable red hair.  As soon as I set him down, he ran back to his room to change._

_Within the hour, we were deep in the countryside; far from anyone who could see or hear us. My precious hybrid son was practicing the Bala attack I’d shown him. I was concerned for his safety and wanted him to have a way to defend himself. With the help of my beloved and a close colleague, we were able to shield the area off and conceal ourselves from Shinigami as well as hollows. It was the first time I truly felt at peace._

_“Daddy’s here, Daddy’s here, Daddy’s here!!” Akai called as a gentle hand graced my shoulder. Immediately, my face lit up with a smile._

_“I missed you,” I sighed blissfully as he sat beside me. A rare genuine smile was flashed at me and our son. Then, he leaned in close; I followed his lead. As our noses brushed, his smile shifted to a grin._

“Wakey wakey~!” Gin chortled. I gasped as my eyes snapped open. “Ya’ fell asleep, how cute,” he mocked. His hand was on my shoulder; the cloak was shifted slightly, as though he’d been jostling me. Our faces were hardly an inch or two apart. In alarm, I jerked back, knocking my head against the wall.

“Ow…” I winced.

“Whadda’ya mean ya’ missed me?” Gin asked suddenly. Instantly, my cheeks flushed red.

“W-what? No! I was dreaming—I talk in my sleep…” I admitted softly.

“Uh huh,” he chuckled, tone implying he wasn’t buying it. Then, he leaned back on his heel. “I’m lettin’ Izuru in ta’ distract Hitsugaya. I want ya’ out of sight until I—why are ya’ cryin’?” His ever-present grin vanished as he looked at me in surprise.

“What?” I asked, dumbfounded. “I’m not—?” As I reached up to my face, sure enough, tears were falling from my eyes. “I don’t…?” _I know why_. “I don’t know,” I lied, wiping them away as they came. After watching me closely for a few more moments, Gin shrugged.

“As I was sayin’, I want ya’ out of sight. Yer’ gonna’ go ta’ the Immaculate Tower Grove. Heard of it?” Gin continued.

“Yes,” I responded, nodding. “Isn’t it off limits?”

“Never mind that, just go,” he ordered, pulling me to my feet. Again, I nodded. As I moved to step around him, he caught my arm. “One more thing,” as he spoke, he turned me to face him. Then, he took a hold of my jaw in a similar way to what he’d done before. “I don’t wanna’ hear a single peep outta’ ya’ until I say, understand?” The tone of his voice made my stomach drop. “Well?”

“...Yes, Captain,” I said softly. His grin widened.

“Good! Now go. Walk inta’ the middle entrance an’ stay there, I’ll be there soon. Take that off when ya’ get there, too,” when he finished speaking, he released me. Giving him a short nod, I followed his instructions.

Headed toward the opposite staircase, I walked through the massacred council of forty-six. From the looks of them, they’d been dead longer than a couple of days. I didn’t have time to be shocked or worried, though. Gin implied he wanted me to move swiftly and silently. At the top of the stairway, I moved left. A short hall brought me to the Immaculate Tower. There were several entryways that I could locate. Trusting Gin’s word, I continued straight. My path led me inside a larger entryway than most.

Inside was dark. There were a couple of doors, but I left them untouched. Instead, I stayed just inside the first doorway, out of the light that spilled in from the hall. I shed the cloak, then waited where I stood. It wasn’t long before I could hear footsteps. Along with the sound of footsteps were quiet voices. I couldn’t make out the conversation until I heard Gin’s voice just outside the doorway.

“Have you ever been here before,” he paused and flashed a grin at me, “Momo?” I stared at him, wide eyed as I heard her timid response.

“Of course not, this area is off limits. I’ve never even seen it before,” as Gin stepped to the middle of the dark room, Momo trailed behind him. She lingered in the light that was cast in from the hall.

“There’s someone I want you to see,” Gin explained. Thinking he was referring to me, I held my breath in shock.

“Someone you want me to see?” Momo asked in confusion. Her arms were held at chest level; hands clasped around each other.

“That’s right,” he nodded. “Go on, look behind you,” he offered, turning his head in her direction.

“Behind...me?” Her voice was so soft I could hardly hear it. I braced myself with clenched fists. Then, a new set of footsteps emerged. Momo turned around as she heard them too.

None other than Captain Aizen stepped into the doorway.

“Ca-Captain Aizen?” Momo breathed in disbelief. She lowered her hands as she began taking small steps toward him. He wore a casual smile and moved toward her.

“How have you been, Momo?” He greeted her warmly.

“Is it really you, Captain Aizen? I thought you were dead,” her voice shook as she spoke.

“I’m alive, as you can see.”

“Captain Aizen… Captain Aizen I…” She stuttered. As she did, she reached out a hand and clutched his Haori. With tears in her eyes, she looked up at him.

“I’m sorry,” Aizen said gently. “You must have been heartbroken,” he placed his hand on her head. As he smiled at her, she began to sob. Aizen wrapped his arms around her. “You’ve lost weight, poor child,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea I’d hurt you so badly. But I want you to know,” he explained, “it had to be you. There’s something I must do, and I had to stay hidden to do it. That’s why I faked my death and had you—”

“It’s alright,” Momo interrupted. “It’s alright,” she repeated. “Just knowing that you’re alive is enough for me,” she wore a small smile; tears sliding down her cheeks. Momo looked so relieved.

I felt Gin’s hand on my shoulder. After watching me visibly flinch, Gin leaned in close to my ear. My body froze as he whispered to me a command.

“When he lets her go, yer’ gonna’ cut her down. Aizen’s orders~!”

“Thank you, Momo,” Aizen breathed. Tears were spilling from my eyes as I realized why I had to do. It was to make me just as big a traitor as them. “Our time together was a joy to me. Thank you very much,” Momo’s smile only brightened. Aizen watched me expectantly from over Momo’s shoulder. My fists trembled at my sides.

“Captain, we should get back and tell everyone you’re okay!” Momo announced cheerfully after their embrace. My heart stopped in my chest as Aizen began to remove his arms from around her. Gin elbowed me forward. I heard a nasty whisper from him as he did so.

“Do it or die.”

I had no other choice if I wanted to preserve myself. Weeping silently, I drew my left blade from her sheath. She screamed at me not to. Chi shouted with all her might, telling me it would be more honorable to die there. But I didn’t want to die. I _couldn’t_ die yet. Aizen took a step away from Momo as he smiled at her. She took a quarter step, turning to where Gin and I were. As her eyes fell on me, I shoved my blade through her chest; my own eyes squeezed shut. A cry of horror and regret came from my throat as I heard the sound of steel slicing through flesh.

My chest shook as I blocked my horrified gasps and sobs. Momo looked down at her chest to see my bloodied hand and sword completely through her body. When she returned her eyes to my face, hers was filled with an expression of shock and betrayal. My hand trembled violently as I still clutched the handle of my sword. My whole body shook along with it as I cried in shame. Momo’s eyes found mine. The look of betrayal softened as I mouthed my apology to her. Then, the light faded from them and she fell to the floor in a heap when I pulled my blade free of her chest. Blood began pool around her.

I dropped my bloodied zanpakuto and it clattered on the ground. Then, I fell to my knees, my hands on my head. I gawked at her with wide eyes; tears spilling from them nonstop. My whimpering and sobs were uncontainable as I watched the pool of Momo’s blood grow. _I’m a monster._

“Let’s go, Gin,” Aizen said as he stepped away from us. In the same motion, he turned and left the room.

“Yes, Captain,” Gin agreed, following after him. As he passed by me, he grabbed the collar of my shihakusho. His pace didn’t falter; he dragged me to my feet. At the same time, I kept my head down and desperately tried to stop my tears. When the three of us stepped into the open, we stopped at the sight of Captain Hitsugaya as he stood before us. His eyes were wide as they landed on Aizen.

“Gin, and…” he breathed in shock.

“Hello, Toshiro,” Aizen welcomed with a smirk.

“What, Aizen?! But how? It—it’s really you?” Toshiro stammered, dumbfounded.

“Of course. In the flesh, as you can see. But, never mind,” he paused, transitioning his words to Gin. “Captain Hitsugaya is back sooner than expected,”

“I’m sorry,” Gin replied, “Izuru musta’ failed,”

“What? What are you talking about?” Toshiro demanded.

“Haven’t you guessed?” Aizen replied smugly. “Tactics of course. Divide and conquer—the most basic way of weakening an enemy.”

“‘Enemy’? But—! Where’s Momo?!” The smaller Captain’s jaw clenched as he spoke.

“Don’t you know?” Aizen smirked.

“You—!” Suddenly, Toshiro’s demeanor darkened. His eyes were wide and in an instant, he was behind us, standing over the fallen girl. “Mo...mo…” he managed, almost shaking. “Oh, Momo,” he said again.

“How unfortunate,” Aizen interrupted, “you found her. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. I should’ve had her chopped up,” he turned, smirking once more, “and hidden the pieces,” My eyes widened at hearing something so awful; more tears threatened to emerge. Then, I squeezed them shut, clenching my fists at my sides at the same time. I was certain those words hurt Toshiro too.

“Aizen...Gin—and Kaiya? Why? How long have you been conspiring?”

“From the beginning,” Aizen stated simply.

“Since before you faked your death, Aizen?” Toshiro’s back was still to the three of us.

“You catch on slowly,” sighed Aizen. “From the beginning,” he repeated, launching into an explanation: “since I became a captain. I never considered anyone but Gin to be my lieutenant. Of course, Lieutenant Tsuki here came a little later,”

“Then, this whole time you were,” finally, he turned back to face us, “you were deceiving us all!!”

“I never thought of it that way,” Aizen remarked as though it were obvious. “The truth is,” he explained, “none of you recognized my true identity.”

“You blame us? How could you be so cruel? You knew Momo joined the court guard because of you. She worked so hard, just so that she could serve at your side!”

“Yes, that’s true. Which made her quite easy to manipulate. That’s why I requested her for my company.”

“What?!”

“It was too good to pass up. Remember, Toshiro, adoration is the furthest state from understanding.”

As soon as Aizen uttered the last word, Toshiro’s hand was on his sword. An explosion erupted, sending the three of us leaping away as ice began to form in the smoke. When it settled, Toshiro was nearly completely visible again. He wore the darkest glare I’d ever seen from him.

“Bankai,” he growled, “Daiguren Hyourinmaru,” I was stunned at the sight of his icy wings and tail. The flower petals that hovered in the air behind him were oddly captivating too. “Aizen,” he snarled, “I’m going to kill you,”

“You shouldn’t make such rash threats,” Aizen returned with a grin, “it makes you seem weak,” Like that was his cue, Toshiro launched an attack. I didn’t see him move, but suddenly Aizen was behind Toshiro. It wasn’t ice that flew through the air, but the smaller Captain’s blood. His eyes were wide as he began to fall.

“I...can’t…” Toshiro fell with a thud.

I stood behind Gin, clasping my hands to my mouth in horror. There were no tears to shed, but I was petrified. Captain Hitsugaya was a prodigy, and Aizen fell him with one strike. The light was gone from his eyes as he lay in a puddle of his own blood, much like Momo. Aizen was walking toward us.

“Well then, shall we?” He asked. Suddenly, Gin’s attention snapped behind him; passed me. I followed his lead as the new company spoke.

“I knew I’d find you here, Captain Aizen,” Captain Unohana announced. “No, I won’t call you that any longer. You’re just Sousuke Aizen the traitor,” she added. Beside her was her loyal assistant captain.

“Isane,” I breathed silently.

“Hello Captain Unohana,” Aizen greeted. He was saying more, but everything around me was beginning to fade. I was frozen where I stood. Slowly, I couldn’t hear anything. I was alone, stuck in my head and my thoughts. My hands shook as I stared at the floor.

_They’re gonna’ be hurt too. It’s my fault. Momo and Toshiro will die without help. Captain Unohana and Isane are going to be attacked. I couldn’t prevent this. I’m part of it. They **made** me part of it. _

Aizen seemed to be explaining something, but I couldn’t understand. My friend and her Captain wore shocked expressions, but I couldn’t find the reason why _. I’m part of this_. Isane looked like she was shouting in disbelief, but no sound reached my ears. _Whose blood will be next?_ Aizen’s grin never faded. His smug expression made my stomach turn.

_It’s my fault. I tried to stop it and I made it worse. Just do it. Attack them too. I’m a traitor. I killed Momo with my own blade. How could I? I was too scared to die and now they’ll die because of **me**._

Gin suddenly flinging his arm up jolted me from my semi-unconsciousness. It was out to his side, a strange thin cloth shooting from inside his sleeve. Then, it was spiraling around the three of us in rapid motion. Shocked, I gawked at it. Gin dropped to a knee as the speed seemed to reach its maximum.

“A word of praise before I go,” Aizen spoke up. “You examined my body far more thoroughly than any of the others. That you felt even a bit of suspicion while under the hypnotic spell is most remarkable, Captain Unohana. Goodbye, I doubt I’ll see any of you ever again,” as he spoke, the cloth began to close around us.

“Wait!!” Isane cried, lunging at us.

As the white of the strange cloth disappeared, I gawked. There was green grass beneath my feet. A soft breeze gently blew through my hair. The smell of fresh air filled my nose. I could see the wide open, blue sky above me.

“What the…?” Renji’s voice grabbed my attention. “We’re on Sokyoku hill…” he gasped. As I opened my mouth to call for my brother, one glance at Gin made me quickly shut it again.

“Welcome, Abarai,” it was Aizen. “Leave Rukia Kuchiki here and go,”

“Captain...Aizen?” Renji asked in shock after a long pause. “I thought you were—no. Forget that. What did you just—?!”

“How strange, you must’ve heard me,” Aizen returned. “Naughty boy. Must I repeat myself? I said leave Rukia here and go, Abarai.”

 

 

 

The wind howled around the small group of us gathered on Sokyoku hill. Renji’s eyes had fallen on me. They were wide and filled with confusion. It was as though he was ignoring Aizen’s request, instead asking me his silent questions. _What are you doing? Why are you with them? Are you part of this?_ He hadn’t said a word, but his voice filled and echoed in my mind. I kept my arms stiffly at my sides, my fists clenched tightly; one still stained with Momo’s blood. As Renji finally responded to Aizen, I turned my head.

“What?”

“I said,” Renji paused, his face hard. When I looked back, it seemed as though he were purposefully avoiding looking at me. “No, Captain Aizen,” Renji finally finished.

“I see,” upon Aizen’s response, Gin moved to unsheathe his zanpakuto. Seeing that nearly made my heart stop. But it wasn’t Gin who stepped forward, blade drawn. It was Aizen. He radiated with evil intent as he spoke. None of their words reached me. Then, he attacked Renji.

Blood spattered onto the ground. Renji’s right arm hung almost limply at his side as he gripped his sword. His left continued to grasp the horrified Rukia. She cried out his name. Then, Aizen was speaking again. Their conversation didn’t reach me; my pounding heart was deafening.

Suddenly, Renji launched himself into the air and roared out his release for Zabimaru.

The extended blade zoomed toward Aizen. He deflected it with ease, simply changing the path of the swords head so it smashed into the ground. Renji roared again as he made his second swing. This time, Aizen didn’t use his blade; it was his bare hand. I saw Renji’s eyes widen in shock as response. Then, Zabimaru was torn to shreds and discarded like nothing. In the same instant, blood exploded from a new wound in Renji’s shoulder. It took all the control I had not to cry out for him. My heart stopped as Aizen swung his blade again.

The sound of steel clanging against steel rang out. I gasped as I saw the ryoka boy had blocked Aizen’s attack. _Ichigo_. Aizen stepped back and watched with curiosity. Renji and the ryoka started talking to each other as if they had become somewhat associated. They talked as though they were plotting their strategy. Meanwhile, Gin was apologizing to Aizen for letting Ichigo intrude. Aizen didn’t seem to care.

All of a sudden, Renji swung his arms up in the air, before penetrating the ground with his broken Zabimaru. I knew exactly what was coming. It was a technique he’d mastered while we were training together. One especially unique in that it required his blade to be broken and scattered across the battlefield. It was explosive and dangerous; I took a few steps back. Aizen, the obvious target, was several steps ahead of where Gin and I stood, but I still didn’t want to be close. The command for the technique echoed in my mind as Renji shouted it.

_Higa Zekko!_

As the pieces of Zabimaru rose into the air, I quickly put my arms up to block the coming force. They aimed at Aizen and came shooting down, sharp points bared. At contact, an explosion of dust and reiatsu flew around us. My red hair and white braid whipped around from the resulting air flow. As I looked through my arms, I gawked in horror.

Ichigo had used Renji’s attack to his advantage. It seemed like the perfect distraction, but it failed. As he went to swing his blade, Aizen caught it with just a single finger. With the same momentum, he cut through the boy’s abdomen. With wide eyes, Ichigo fell to the ground as a pool of blood began to form. Aizen disappeared from my eyes for a moment before reappearing behind Renji. Blood spurted from a fresh wound to his uninjured shoulder; he fell too. At my sides, my fists were clenched so hard my arms trembled and my own blood seeped from the wounds inflicted by my nails. My rage burned deep within me as I glared at the despicable man. But there was nothing I could do while I was selfishly protecting my own life. And especially not after I had cut down my own friend.

“Now, get up Rukia,” Aizen demanded as he took her by the collar. I couldn’t watch anymore. There was no way I could tear my eyes from my little brother as he lay on the ground. Voices echoed in my head, but it was like they were speaking another language. I was sure the main one was Aizen’s, but I understood nothing. My body ached, as though I shared the wounds Renji was given.

With a glance, I noticed Ichigo was moving. I couldn’t be bothered to care though. More anger engulfed me because he was moving and Renji was not. I’d already lost too much. The droning voices continued as I slipped away. _Not him too_. I was on the brink of losing myself.

“Renji,” I whispered silently as I moved to grip the handles of my blades. I didn’t care if I died anymore, I had to do something. Out of the corner, I could see Gin’s amused attention on me. As I began to draw my swords, glaring at Aizen, a strike from above caused another plume of debris and wind directly where Aizen was standing. Dropping my blades, I braced myself by once again shielding my eyes with my arms.

As the dust settled, we saw it was Captain Komamura that stood over Aizen. His attack had done nothing; Aizen had blocked his large blade with his own. Komamura roared something, but words still did not ring in my ears. Then, he attacked once more. Aizen merely jumped away. As Komamura went to attack again, I watched in horror as Aizen was in two places at once. Komamura held the same expression.

“Hado 90,” Aizen said calmly. “Kurohitsugi,” following his command, the black coffin appeared and engulfed the large captain. Moments later, he too fell by Aizen’s hand. Blood covered his body as he collapsed onto the ground. My own fear of that man continued to grow. It had already well surpassed the fear I had of him as a member of his army. I’d never witnessed anything like this from him in that life.

As if nothing had happened, he proceeded to do his business with Rukia. Aizen revealed exactly what he’d done up to that point. Even what I knew myself was missing many details. Then, he explained what he was after—what I certainly knew: the Hogyoku. _This is it. And they’re taking me with them_. As he spoke, Aizen impaled Rukia with his morphed hand and retrieved the Hogyoku. Then, he offered her to Gin to be killed. Again, I was gripping the handles of my weapons. But, when I tried to pull them free of their sheaths, my hands wouldn’t budge. Despite my desire, I was petrified.

His Shinso shot at the exhausted girl before I could force myself to move.

To everyone’s astonishment, the blade didn’t pierce her. Rukia was in the arm of none other than Captain Kuchiki himself. Gin’s blade buried deep in the side of his chest. With an unamused expression, he retracted his blood covered blade. Byakuya fell to his knees as Rukia called to him and clutched him to her small frame. With menacing air about him, Aizen began to approach the two of them, hand on his sword. As he moved to draw it, two new faces appeared and restrained him. One was a woman I’d never seen before, and the other was the captain of second company: Soi Fon.

As a countermeasure, Aizen summoned the gatekeepers, like he knew his restraint would happen. The two women looked shock before Jidanbo, the other gatekeeper appeared with yet another strange woman. Without hesitation he attacked his rogue comrades. My attention rapidly moved between Aizen, Gin, the giants, and my still fallen brother as the situation seemed to spiral. Gin hadn’t looked at me since the first time I tried to draw my weapons. _Maybe I can use this chaos to run!_ It was cowardly, but I could escape and stay safe.

Before I could take my first step toward safety, firm hands took hold of both of my wrists. Gasping, I turned my attention behind me. Lieutenant Iba restrained me as the four of us were surrounded. The captains and assistants that remained, looked down on us as we were captured. It was Shuhei that restrained Tosen, and Rangiku who subdued Gin. Although I still should have been afraid, slight relief began to take root in my chest. _I could even be executed, but I will accept that._

My relief was yanked away from me when I saw Aizen smirk, though. The strange woman restraining him asked what was so funny. His response caused them to jump away. Just as suddenly, light shot from the sky and engulfed Aizen. Immediately, I knew what it was. From the source, the sky above opened up to reveal several Gillian. It was Negacion. The Captain General explained what was happening as three more shot down and engulfed the three of us one by one. In my old life I would have welcomed the rescue. In this one, I dreaded it. Slowly, I was lifted from the ground and toward the group of Menos above. Shouting from below ensued and the Shinigami demanded explanation. Aizen granted it for them as he removed his glasses and ran his hand through his hair. As he shattered the black frames, he looked at all of them with superiority.

“I will stand at the top,”

The menos pulled the four of us into their large hands. As he finished speaking, the garganta the Menos had torn open closed violently. One thing was certain as the view below was abruptly closed: I was an enemy of the Seireitei. I would not be rescued, and it was unlikely I would ever be able to return. Not knowing my own fate, nor if my brother would survive, I allowed the darkness to swallow me.

 

 

 

Part One End.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends the first part! Part two is currently at 33K words, and still growing rapidly. 'Till next update (:


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to part two and chapter 13! Part two is officially at 40k words so I am able to begin posting it. With each additional 3-5k words written, I will upload another chapter.  
> Please enjoy (:

As the eternal night swirled around me and I could hear the shifting of the sand below, I began to dread the very air I took into my lungs. My left hand trembled as I rested it on the handle of my left blade. She pulsed, knowing my fear and the imminent danger. But I would have to make a move if I wanted to flee. The three of them hadn’t so much as glanced at me since we’d entered and exited the precipice world.

_I’ll only have a moment, but if I can surprise them just enough, I can make a run for it!_

The menos that carried us reached the outside of the giant palace I knew well. I feigned shock and confusion, in case the three in front of me did happen to look my way. When they stopped, I tensed. The giant creatures lowered their hands to let us step into the sand. Slowly, I let go of my blade and watched them carefully as they began to walk toward the palace. The menos disappeared as we walked on our own. With a silent exhale, I raised my hands.

“Hado thirty-three, Sokatsui!!” Following my command, the blue colored energy blast shot at the three of them. Aizen, who walked in the center, was the target I aimed for. But I wasn’t going to stand around and wait to see the impact. Within the same rapid moments, I took to running as far and fast as I could from them.

Tosen appeared in front of me suddenly; I skidded to a halt. I kicked up a plume of sand as I did so. Then, without wasting a single moment, I pulled my swords free of their sheaths. Baring my sharp canines, I lunged at him. I was ready to tear his head off of his shoulders if I had to.

“Bakudo sixty-one, Rikujokoro,” his voice was calm, as though he thought I couldn’t lay a finger on him. Perhaps he was right. As the six beams of light pierced mercilessly through my abdomen, I gasped. The binding spell pinned my arms to my sides, and I lost grip of my swords. They fell into the sand at my feet. I was rooted to the spot.

“Damn,” I spat, gritting my teeth. Despite my situation, I held my head high and glared at the ex-captain. Gin and Aizen appeared beside him only a mere moment later. My glare deepened as I heard my captain chuckling.

“Did you think it would be that easy?” Aizen asked, seeming amused.

“Of course not,” I growled. “I got farther than I thought I would,” I added, mocking tone and flashing a smug look. He dismissed it without so much as a facial reaction.

“Gin, Kaname, go and gather all of the residents. I’ll take our guest to tower five,” he ordered. They agreed and were gone before I could blink. Aizen took me by the front of my shihakusho after picking my zanpakuto up from the ground. I was half expecting him to lift me off the ground as he had done to Rukia, but I wasn’t as small as her. In fact, I wasn’t much shorter than Aizen. Instead, he dragged me along and into the palace of Las Noches.

“Let go of me!” I barked as I tried to free my arms. I wasn’t sure how to break free of a binding spell considering it was the first I’d ever succumbed to one. Aizen didn’t respond. The tower he mentioned was one I was surprised to still know well. It was a semi-private version of his throne room. Arrancar could enter, but only if summoned.

“I’m surprised you haven’t asked anything along the lines of ‘what is this place’ or ‘how did you know this was here’,” Aizen remarked while smirking.

_Fuck_!

“Do you know where you are right now, Lieutenant Tsuki?” He asked, opening the door to reveal a wide room with a lone chair. A secondary throne.

“No,” I lied as we stepped inside. Aizen let go and I righted myself before I could stumble and fall. The binding spell wasn’t paralyzing anymore, but I still had no use of my arms.

“You can understand if I tell you I don’t believe that, can’t you? After all, you’ve shown extensive knowledge that should not even be possible for someone such as yourself,” he responded coldly. I scowled.

“Are you calling me an idiot?” I asked in a defensive growl. “I’m probably one of the most clever in the Seireitei if you ask me. I was the only one to see through your rouse. It’s sad that no one believed me!”

“I doubt that’s the case. Until just recently you were a failure as a Shinigami, isn’t that right?” Aizen stepped closer to me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I shot back, my heart rate increasing. Another step, his calculating gaze boring into me.

“Shall I remind you?” We were inches apart. “Much like that brother of yours, you struggled with kido in the academy. Unlike many others, however, that was not the only time you had difficulty. Until recently, your combat skills were lacking despite hours and hours of practice. Even your swordsmanship was simply awful to say the least, despite their uniqueness. Again, that is until just recently. You barely managed to make it into the court guard, isn’t that right? Only by several recommendations, one being your own brother’s. They practically begged to allow you to graduate, correct?”

“Shut up!” I snapped, gritting my teeth. _The Kaiya that lived before I took over had it that rough, huh?_ _But I guess I knew that from those memories._ _How could **he** though?_

“I have my own theory,” he explained, unphased, “one that is so interesting that I hope turns out to be correct,” as he spoke, he lifted his hands and leaned closer to me.

“I don’t want to hear it,” I snarled, still trying to break free of my binding. His hands cupped my cheeks and my eyes widened in shock. My body froze.

“You’re not the same person, are you?” He asked with a grin. My blood ran cold. _How could he **know**?_ “I’ve heard of phenomena that head trauma can lead to alterations in an individual's personality and competencies,” he continued. I almost felt relieved. “But that doesn’t seem wholly accurate either,” he finished. Again, I stiffened.

“You’re insane,” I told him, voice dripping with malice. “Bringing me here based on that nonsense! I’ve always been the same,” I yanked my head from his grip. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Even your eyes have changed since then,” he remarked, amused. “Sharper now.”

“Shut up,” I growled. “You don’t know anything, and you won’t! I won’t tell you shit ‘cause I don’t know anything. You don’t control me!”

“Do you really believe that?” He asked. “Since the moment you agreed to follow Gin out of that holding cell you’ve been under my control,” he informed me. I snorted. Aizen raised a hand again and I glared. “I could do away with you right now and no one would miss you,” he said as my binding shattered. The moment I was free, I aimed my palm at him.

“Hado thirty-one, Sha—!” Before I could finish the kido spell, Aizen’s reiatsu blasted through the room. The air was so thick and the pressure so heavy I couldn’t breathe. As I struggled against the force, it pushed me to my knees. My jaw was clenched so tightly I feared I would break teeth. Then, just as suddenly as it had come, the blast of reiatsu diminished. Now free of the weight, I collapsed forward onto my hands.

“Fuck,” I gasped as sweat beads rolled down my face. I huffed deep breaths as I stayed on all fours.

“I’ll have plenty of questions for you,” Aizen’s voice droned above me. “I trust you’ll answer them if you want to stay here as our personal guest. Though I can’t say it will be comfortable for you,” as he spoke, the door opened.

“Captain, everyo—my, my! Ya’ got her ta’ bow already?” Gin giggled as he stepped inside. “I’m impressed!” My pride took a huge hit when I realized the position I was in. With a wince, I clenched my fists. Under my hair, my cheeks burned nearly the same vibrant color. _I am **not** bowing to him!_

“Gin bind her arms. She’ll accompany us to the meeting as our guest,” Aizen told him.

“Yes, Captain,” he agreed with his grin. I climbed to my feet, returning my rage filled glare at Aizen. This time, I decided to keep quiet. Thankfully, I managed to clear the blush from my cheeks.

Gin took hold of my arms and pulled them behind my back as I let a low growl rumble in my chest. Using cloth he’d taken from who knows where, my forearms were tied up to my elbows. If I wanted to, I could easily tear through it, but it wasn’t the time for that. I was smart enough to choose my battles. Instead, I figured it was more important that I wait and listen in an effort to plan my way out of the mess I’d made for myself. So, I allowed the pointless means of restraining me to take place. There would be a time I could free myself; I was sure of that.

“Let’s bring our _guest_ ,” every time he spoke, that particular word sounded horrendously mocking, “to the throne room to meet her new comrades,” Aizen said as he began to walk. Gin followed with only a nod, tugging me along after him. _How degrading._

If memory served, the throne room was on the main level of the palace between towers four and five. The direction we were headed confirmed it. There was a lot of my life as an arrancar I could not remember. Memories of my life as a Shinigami had long since overwritten the ones of lesser importance. I was surprised to even know the few things I did about the palace of Las Noches. As I tried to dig through the memories I knew weren't there, we came to the secondary door of the throne room. Once through, we would be high above everyone that was gathered below. Several faces came to mind, but I quickly pushed them away. _They’re enemies now, remember that._

“Shall we?” Gin asked me rhetorically as he grinned at me. With a snort, I turned my head away from him. He simply pulled me through the door as he walked after Aizen. I let my feet drag against the floor in an attempt to slow us down. It didn’t. Despite my exterior appearance, my heart was beginning to pound.

“Welcome everyone,” Aizen began as he sat. It was the only true chair in the entire room. The main throne. “As I’m sure you’re all well aware, we have brought a guest along with us,” we were high above those who gathered below. The throne sat atop a secondary wall and gave us view of the entire expanse of the large room. The faces below I began to recognize. It only made my anxiousness grow.

“Kaiya Tsuki,” at the sound of my name, Gin thrust me forward into the light and out of the shadows. Multiple pairs of eyes fell on me. “Is,” continued Aizen, “the former Lieutenant of third company in the Gotei thirteen. Her abilities are rather unique, but what’s more interesting is her mind. This woman was able to see through my fake body and predict our defection. She knows much more than she leads on. I’d like all of you to welcome our guest in any fashion you choose, so long as she lets us in on her knowledge and where she’s received it from,” the arrancar below we’re eyeing me with mixed expressions. I couldn’t tell what was going through their minds.

“I’ve decided she will stay under the care of Szayelaporro,” Aizen announced. I visibly flinched as I located the undeniable presence of the man he mentioned. As our eyes met, he grinned.

“Oh goodie, a new rat~!” He chortled as he narrowed his eyes. Chills rolled down my spine, but I couldn’t break my gaze from the look he gave me.

“I’ll be requesting her company often, Szayelaporro. Please do refrain from altering her too much before she’s answered my questions,” as Aizen grinned, I felt Gin shove me off the wall. With a gasp of shock as I fell halfway down, I caught myself in the air. I flipped around to throw him a nasty glare before I drifted to the floor. Szayel had approached, wearing the same predatory grin. “If you would like to spend time with our _dear_ guest, contact Szayelaporro or visit his palace. One more thing, do not underestimate this girl. In a short matter of time she has mastered her Shikai abilities and I am to believe she has achieved Bankai as well. Though I am also certain she has had no practice with the latter. Thank you for listening, you’re dismissed,” as I turned to gawk at him in complete bewilderment, he flashed me a knowing grin. I hadn’t told anybody of what I’d done, not even my own brother. _How could he have known?!_

“All of you give me a day before you pester me about this woman,” Szayel announced as he took hold of my sleeve. “I need to make sure my new rat is _properly_ acquainted,” he sneered.

“Fuck off,” I spat, yanking my arm from him. Unphased, he grabbed my sleeve once more and pulled me through to the main door of the throne room. Still, many eyes were trained on me as we walked.

“Before you leave, Szayelaporro,” Aizen called.

“Yes, my Lord?” He returned, pausing before he reached for the door. Suddenly, Tosen was in front of us. He held out my twin blades to the pink haired man.

“I’ll leave those in your care as well. Do with them as you please,” Aizen instructed. With only a nod, Szayel took them from Tosen. Then, we continued our exit. A low, defensive growl was rumbling in my chest. Although I was giving off an air of aggression and irritation, my mind was reeling. In my previous life, Szayel had helped me. He, and a couple of others, had been as much a friend as hollows could be to one another. I depended on him a lot back then. In this one, I had no idea what he had in store.

I was nothing more than a Shinigami woman surrounded by beings that hated Soul Society. And I was terrified.


	14. Fourteen

“Judging by the look in your eye back in the throne room, you must know who I am,” inquired Szayel as we walked. “But how do you know that?” I ignored him. Instead, I was studying the halls as best I could. They were dimly lit, and I couldn’t remember hardly anything about the palace.

“Hmph,” I snarled as he nudged me.

“Oh, you are definitely going to be fun to break,” he said, sounding eager. His fingers pressed together as he seemed to contemplate it. From what I could collect, I knew Szayel wasn’t much for combat. Not that I remembered his abilities much of course. If I wanted to make an escape, doing it before we reached his lab was the best chance I had.

“Graahh!!” I roared as I tore through my binding. In the same moment, I yanked my swords from Szayel’s grip. Before he could react, I was gone, having bolted down an adjacent hallway. My heart was racing as I fled; each new turn brought high possibility of running into a foe. As I tore off down several more corridors, Szayel appeared down the hall in front of me. Grimacing, I skidded to a halt. _Well this feels familiar._ Without a moment’s hesitation, I took up my battle-ready stance: my body turned so that my left shoulder faced him, right arm up with blade tip pointed at him and the other down just above my hips, the length of the blade toward him. My knees were also slightly bent as I waited for an attack.

Szayel did not look amused. With a raised eyebrow, he stared me down, arms crossed. He wasn’t scowling, but his energy made it seem like he was. He looked me dead in the eye, glanced to my feet, then back at my face again. I wouldn’t allow myself to be fooled into looking away from him. But he didn’t do anything except lift an arm. Then he snapped his fingers.

And I was falling.

I screamed as my body fell into darkness. The sudden drop caused me to lose hold of my swords and they fell through the air along with me. Before I knew it, I was completely engulfed by that darkness. Air rushed passed my ears as I continued to plummet. Upon landing against a hard, curved surface, I was winded. But it didn’t stop there, because of the angle, I was suddenly sliding another direction at an alarming speed. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t find anything to grab onto to stop myself. A sudden bright light appeared in front of me as I was launched at it. Crying out once more, I tried to block my face. As I was shot out into the light, I no longer felt the hard surface beneath me. The next instant, I found myself in a painful heap on a cold, unforgiving floor. The sound of my swords clattering onto the floor beside me echoed throughout wherever I ended up.

“What…was that?” I gasped as I pushed myself up and onto my knees. Concerned with what just happened, I didn’t notice the presence next to me until it took my braid in its fist and yanked me upright by it. Crying out, I reached to try and pry the hands away from my hair. Yellow eyes and pink hair came into view.

“A simple plait, how tacky,” Szayel sighed, but did not let go. I stayed still, knowing if I moved it would only pull my hair more.

“Didn’t anyone teach you not to pull a lady’s hair?” I growled as I pried at his fingers.

“You?” He laughed, “A lady? _Please_! You act nothing more than an adolescent brat. Having a developed body does _not_ make you a lady,” his voice was condescending, as though he were speaking to a dog.

“Let go!” I demanded, swinging my arm in an attempt to elbow him in the stomach. He simply caught my arm with his free hand. His unamused expression returned.

“Lumina, Verona, come here,” he ordered. At his command, two very strange looking arrancars bounded toward us shouting excitedly for their master. They were round and not very tall, and nearly identical. As they stood in front of me, I had no doubt I could take them down with little or no effort at all.

“You’re going to try and subdue me with those?” I sneered. “One kick and they’d be decommissioned.”

“Not at all. I don’t need them for that. You see, these are two of my fracciones. I have modified my own and each serves its own purpose here for me. These two are the most obedient. Besides, subduing you will be easy with this,” he explained as he pulled something strange from his pocket. The motion did not give me a chance at another swing because he had released my hair and gripped both of my wrists in a single hand. As I looked at the object, an eerie familiarity emerged about it. “Do you know what this is for?” With closer inspection, I realized what it was.

“A reiatsu seal,” I breathed as I stared at it. It was nothing like the eyepatch that Captain Zaraki wore. This one resembled a small black belt. Not one that would fit around my waist, though.

“Excellent, then I don’t have to explain it. You see, I was alerted ahead of time that you would be accompanying those rouge captains. I had plenty of time to make this especially for you. With it, you will be reduced practically to a human in terms of your reiatsu,” he told me. Once he finished speaking, he fastened the seal around my neck as I thrashed in protest. When it snapped into place, I felt an instant reaction to my reiatsu. Szayel hooked a finger into the belt I now wore as a collar, pulling my face up so I looked him in the eye. “Now you look like the dog you are,” he mocked with a grin. Then, he tossed me aside.

“Damn,” I cursed as my limbs began to tremble. The pressure I hardly noticed before had increased so drastically that I was having trouble breathing. It wasn’t like the pressure I’d gone through from Aizen only a short while ago, but it was still highly uncomfortable.

“You two strip our mutt of everything that labels her Shinigami. She belongs to me now and she must look the part. Use a spare uniform from the closet then bring her to room three,” Szayel instructed. Then he disappeared behind a door I couldn’t see off to the side of the room. The fracciones he called Lumina and Verona bounced to me and took fistfuls of my shihakusho in their hands.

“Don’t—!” I gasped. Despite Szayel leaving, a bulk of his reiatsu lingered. His power as an espada was exhausting. I tried to push them away from me, to no avail. Without remorse they began tearing my shihakusho to shreds. Despite knowing I would not be able to accomplish a thing as long as I wore the seal, I still fought against them as much as I could.

Within a few short minutes, I was completely nude, desperately clutching my lieutenant badge I managed to swipe from them as they stripped me. The surface of the floor I sat on was cold against my bare skin. Szayel was already succeeding in making me feel like nothing but an animal and he wasn’t even in the room. One of the arrancars fled and returned with an armful of predominately white clothes. With a scowl, I turned away from them. Unfazed, each took hold of one of my arms and began to dress me.

The top was skin tight and long sleeved. The cuffs of the sleeves were solid black stripes. Three other black stripes converged at the high collar, separating from each other at my chest. One went straight down the middle while the other two split off to right and left toward my respective underarms. The hem of the shirt was also bolded with black. The pants were a simple hakama and belt. The entire ensemble was white with black accents. It also looked exactly like what Szayel and the two arrancars standing before me wore. Strangely, they left me barefoot. I was still refusing to let them take my badge.

“This way,” one of them croaked, yanking me to my feet. My legs wobbled a bit as I stood. “Come,” it said again. I snorted as it pulled me down the room to an adjacent hall. It wasn’t long before it’s twin was pushing open a door that was labeled with the Spanish word for three. Before I could try and run away again, I was shoved inside; the door slammed shut behind me.

“No, no, no!!” I roared, banging on the door as I spoke each word. “Let me out!!” I demanded while continuing to slam my fists against it. The door was locked tight and didn’t budge in the slightest. I had the feeling it wouldn’t have even if I had my strength. Following another bang from my fist, I heard the sound of a door opening up behind me. Quickly, I flipped around and pressed my back into the locked door. As I feared, it was Szayel who stepped in. I braced myself for the suffocating air to return, but it didn’t.

“Confused? I’ve altered this room so that my spirit energy isn’t constantly putting pressure on you. Having my new subject under constant stress creates a difficult situation for me, though it does make for a good punishment,” he explained, smirking. I glared.

“Stay awa—!”

“Listen. I can make this first day easy for you, but you’ll need to cooperate. First thing is data collection; I can leave it at just that and show you the slightest bit of mercy, and I won’t punish you for earlier. That is, if you’ll do as I say,” he watched me closely as he spoke.

_What would Chi and Tamashi do?_ There wasn’t much I was capable of because of the collar fastened around my neck. I didn’t have my blades either, they were left behind in the other room. Certainly, I was unable to perform Kido in my state as well. It was time to choose my battles again. Besides, I was sure it was smarter to try and plan my escape while I was relatively uninjured. Slowly, I lowered my head.

“Great!” Chimed Szayel. “You’re loud and annoying, but you actually do have some intelligence in that head of yours. Now come,” he instructed. Lifting my head again, I moved away from the door and toward him. _Why did I have to be put with **him**?!_

 

 

 

Although I didn’t have a clear means to tell time, I was certain several hours had passed before he was finished collecting his data. I’d lost track of just how many things he’d done and what information he logged about me. At one point he had actually removed my seal, but it was only for a few short moments. Definitely not long enough to make any move. Whenever he wasn’t looking, I tried to pry off the collar myself, but I couldn’t make the thing budge in the slightest. When he caught me doing so, he only laughed and shook his head. I think he may have mumbled something about me being naïve.

“I’m finished,” he announced as he typed away at a keyboard. The sound of a large bolt releasing made my eyes widen. “Yes, it’s unlocked. Where you will be staying should be prepared by now. Go into the hall you were in before and walk to the right until you reach the end. The last door is yours,” he almost sounded bored as he gave me the directions. “Oh, don’t get excited, either. All other doors are locked, and I’ve already had those swords of yours put away,” as if he needed to prove it, he showed me their location on the screen he was working on. They were in a clear case, but I couldn’t figure out much more than that. “Go, enjoy the rest of your night,” he instructed, waving his hand. “I hope you rest well, because tomorrow ends any shred of mercy or pity I had for you.”

Without a word, I rose to my feet. Then, I crept to the door and was awed to find out it really was unlocked. As I pushed it open, I stepped out and into the hall I was in hours ago. Somehow, the lighting seemed different. The moment I heard the large door slide closed again, I bolted in the opposite direction I was told. _There’s no way he locked **all** of the other doors, right?!_ The first one I saw was a bust, it didn’t even wiggle. The next three were the same. To my horror, each one I tried, one after the other, all yielded the same result. Enraged, I slammed my fist against the one I was currently standing in front of and yelled my frustration.

“I thought I told you to go to the right,” my heart lurched, and I visibly jumped when I heard Szayel’s voice echo around me. “Go, now. Don’t make me change my mind about letting you off easy,” his voice was firm. Clenching my fists, I stomped in the direction he told me.

“Fucker,” I hissed under my breath. When I reached the door he designated, my anger only amplified as I pushed it open with ease. As I entered, I slammed it shut. The crashing sound it made was satisfying but did not ease my rage. When it shut, the sound of the bolt sliding into place morphed my anger to defeat. Sighing, I slumped my back against the now locked door. “What have I gotten myself into?” I whispered.

The living space I was given was bigger than I expected, but still rather small. It resembled the room I stayed in before my promotion to Lieutenant in the Seireitei, only slightly bigger. The walls and floor were bare, each the same dull color of gray. A small, flat cot was tucked into the corner. A sheet was draped over it and accompanied by a lone pillow—a dark greenish color. While looking at the cot, I was realizing my growing exhaustion. Slowly, I laid myself into the firm surface and clutched the pillow to my chest. Before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep.

 

 

***

 

 

“…eavy sleeper, aren…” the voice faded in and out as my eyes began to flutter open. My groggy, stiff body told me I’d hardly slept at all. A moderate slapping to my cheeks pulled me from my half-asleep state. “Wake up,” the order was firm and clearer as I was roused from my sleep. The command was followed by more slaps to my cheeks.

“Unh,” I whined as I moved to stretch. Before I could, I heard the undeniable sound of a chain and my arms were pulled up. As a result, my upper body followed suit. “Ow!” I voiced the pain in my shoulders from the action.

“It’s time to start the day,” Szayel urged. “I have a lot to do and no time to let you do whatever you do to wake up,” yanking on the chain again, he jerked me to my feet.

“Ah! Fuck, that hurts!” I snarled.

“Good,” he retorted. “Use your feet,” he commanded as he pulled me from the small space. When we entered the hall, I noticed several arrancar waiting around. Once I was in view, all eyes were set on me. “Not yet,” Szayel spoke to them, then muttered under his breath about them being impatient. As they watched, I was pushed into another nearby room.

“What’s going on?!” I demanded, shaking the chains cuffed to my wrists.

“Day one of stimulus,” Szayel said. When I stared at him blankly, he rolled his eyes. “I know you are certainly not going to simply tell me the information I ask for, so I’ll have to take it forcefully. I’ll have to go through your mind. The best way to unlock it is through stimulation. Today begins that experimentation. I have several here who are going to lend a hand in stimulating your mind today,”

“And what is the so-called stimulus?” I asked, irritation in my voice.

“Pain,” I blinked at his response. “What? You should expect that at the very least,” he was right, but I wasn’t about to admit that. “Anyway,” he continued, “this will last a few days depending on the results. You best be prepared.”

“What, you’re just gonna let those freaks beat me for days?!” I cried, flinging my arms out in my outrage. The chains jingled as I did so.

“Essentially, yes. You make it seem like it’s so awful to abuse a prisoner,” he sighed with a shrug. “Now hold still,” he ordered as he approached me. With clenched fists and a low growl, I obeyed in the hopes it would earn me more mercy. Though I felt ashamed to do so. Szayel began attaching strange looking devices on my face and around my head. A question lingered on my tongue, but a quick look from Szayel silenced it. “There, finished. I’m throwing you to the hounds now, I hope you’ve braced yourself,” he said, almost sounding like he looked forward to it.

“You think these funny looking things will do anything?” I asked, doubtful. Holding up a controller I hadn’t noticed before, he pressed a button on the center.

“Now it will,” he smirked as each of the devices shot a needle half an inch into my skin. I winced but didn’t voice the slight discomfort. Then, he was yanking me back into the large hall. “Listen up! My only rule is that you don’t tamper with my instruments. Though, that would certainly be difficult considering I designed them. Oh, and only one at a time; I am looking for pristine results,” when he finished speaking, he threw me onto the ground. At the snap of his fingers, the chains that bound me tightened from somewhere I could not see. My arms were forced over my head, and I was lifted so I sat on my knees.

“Hey, wait!” I called as the nameless arrancar began to come closer.

“You there,” Szayel said, ignoring me, “the one closest to her. I want you to hit her just once, as hard as you’d like, so I can make sure my devices are properly calibrated.”

“This isn’t fair, I can’t even defend mys—HURK!!” My desperate shouting was cut off when the arrancar delivered a swift but powerful kick to my abdomen. I slumped forward, coughing up bile from the force. While my attention was on the floor, I could hear the sound of tapping keys.

“Excellent,” Szayel announced afterward. “Have at it!”

That was my only warning before the arrancars advanced on me. My binding prevented me from moving. With my arms above my head, I had no means to block their attacks either. Before I knew it, I was under a blurred mix of punches and kicks. Each came directly after the last, and sometimes several at once.

It wasn’t long before I was a bruised and bloodied mess. Despite becoming weaker and weaker, the assault did not stop. Eventually, I’d lost my strength to hold myself up. The chains kept me upright and dug into my wrists as I slumped. Desperately, I wished for it to be over.

Szayel announced the twelfth hour. Then the twenty-fourth. By thirty-six, my breathing was shallow, and I could hardly hear over the ringing in my ears. I couldn’t see, either; bruises on my cheeks had swollen my eyes shut. There was a brief moment that no attacks reached me. I kept my head down as blood dropped from my nose and mouth.

“It isn’t enough,” Szayel said, sounding frustrated. “There isn’t enough stimulation! You pathetic fools! Must I do everything myself?” I was confused as to how there could possibly be any lack of what he was looking for. All I felt was aching pain. He walked to me, I lifted my head and did my best to peek through my swollen eyes. Szayel was scowling. “All you lot have managed to do is break a single rib,” he scoffed. “Have you even heard her cry out once yet?” Szayel was right, I hadn’t. The most I’d given were grunts at contact.

“Weak,” I tried, though it didn’t sound like much.

“You have to break her,” Szayel told them, looming over me.  With a sneer, he lifted his foot and brought it down with crushing force onto my left shin. Following the horrendous snapping sound, my scream echoed through the large room. The pain was excruciating, and it seemed as though it was perfect for his needs because he was right back at his computer in the next instant. “See? _This_ is what I’m looking for,” he chortled.

Tears spilled from my swollen eyes as the pain did not stop. He must have struck a nerve with shattered bone because it felt as though my limb was on fire. Whimpers came from deeper within my chest as I desperately wished for the pain to fade. It was nothing like the hits I had taken before it. My body trembled as I tried to regard it as mind over matter.

“Now, before we continue, let’s rid her of all that inflammation and swelling,” Szayel announced, tossing a syringe to a nearby arrancar. “Swelling promotes healing, and we don’t want that,” he added smugly. Without a word, the nameless arrancar injected the substance into my bloodstream through my upper arm. Within mere moments, all of my swelling was gone. I could see just fine, but the pain only increased.

“Now resume,” commanded Szayel.


	15. Fifteen

Another three days passed.

Measures had been taken to rouse me during the times I’d fallen unconscious. I was not allowed a moment’s rest and not a wink of sleep. The group had followed Szayel’s example and broke several of my bones. By that point, I could no longer use my legs. It was shocking, but it almost excited me to see a familiar face when he walked in.

“Tousen,” Szayel greeted, not paying him any mind.

“Lord Aizen has requested the woman,” he stated calmly. That snagged the scientist’s attention.

“What? It hasn’t even been a week!” His glare was on me, strangely enough. Through blood-soaked hair, I glared right back.

“His request is firm,” Tousen added, unfazed. The blind man began to walk toward me.

“Wait, wait! Just give me an hour to have her back in better shape. She can’t even walk as she is now,” Szayel had moved closer to me. Taking the chance, despite my exhaustion and pain, I chose to continue my rebellious streak. Sneering, I spat blood at him. It splattered along the bottom of his pants. “You little wretch!” He cried at me as I snickered. In the same breath, he backhanded me with force that split my cheek. Not that my face wasn’t already covered in my blood of course.

“We will take care of it,” Tousen affirmed, still showing no reaction. “I’ll alert Lord Aizen of what little progress you have made here,” as he spoke, he lifted my battered and bloodied body from the floor. “Release her bindings and we will be on our way. I’m sure she will be promptly returned.”

“…Right,” Szayel finally complied. Once again facing his computer, he struck a single key. The chains around my wrists unlatched and they disappeared upward with slight rattling sounds. “The rest of you get out,” Szayel ordered as Tousen walked away with me, “your toy is gone now, and I have data to organize.” The ex-captain and I weren’t even a few feet from the door or the lab before I fell unconscious once more.

 

 

 

It was the sound of the large doors of the throne room closing that woke me. I was still draped in Tousen’s arms. My limbs hung limply, and I was certain I looked horrid. His steps echoed in the large room as he approached the throne. Rather than staying below, he used flash step to bring us to the top of the wall.

“Welcome back, Miss Tsuki,” Aizen greeted. I hardly had the energy to sneer, but I did anyway.

“Oh my~!” Gin cooed. “What an awful sight!”

“It was my mistake to request her presence without warning,” Aizen admitted. “Be sure to send my apology and assure Szayelaporro that he will have enough warning to make her presentable in the future, Tousen,” he added. Once addressed, Tousen placed me on the floor, nodded, then vanished. “Gin, will you take care of her wounds? And give her a fresh set of clothes. I’ll be waiting in tower five,” Aizen stood as he spoke. Then, he too was gone.

“Looks like it’s just us now,” Gin cooed once more. I didn’t look at him. Instead, I looked into the many shadows that were cast in the room. “Don’t’cha go an’ be mean now,” he pouted playfully. Still, I ignored him. With a shrug, he began basic healing kido. I never thought such simple healing could be so reliving. A few minutes passed before he spoke again:

“It’s easier to heal yer’ legs if ya’ let me take yer’ clothes off,” his comment wasn’t playful or teasing in the slightest. Surprisingly, it sounded like he genuinely wanted to heal my broken bones. Slowly, I gave a gentle nod, but continued to keep my attention off of him. Gin began to peel away my torn and bloody clothes. It was almost as if he were being gentle. His actions were nothing like those two round arrancar that ripped away my shihakusho.

“Wait,” I gasped as he pulled away my pants. My badge I had hidden in the hakama fell onto the ground. Quickly, I snatched it back and clutched it to my chest.

“Ya’ kept that?” He chuckled at me. When he reached for it, I yanked away. The sudden movement sent pain shooting through my body. I couldn’t help the resulting cry. “Serves ya’ right. I wasn’t gonna’ take it.”

For the first time, I looked at him. He had his signature grin and continued to treat me. The soft green glow from his hand soothed the leg he was currently working on. Despite what I had gone through, I could still see the Gin I’d fallen for in my past life. My weakness grew as I felt myself crumble. I stroked my badge gently as I watched him.

“I didn’t want to come here, Captain,” I admitted softly. Then, I lowered my head, looking away from him.

“Aww, Kaiya,” he huffed, “don’t tell me he broke ya’ already!”

“What?!” I shouted, bolting upright, “I’m not broken—Augh!!” Sharp pain hit in my ribs as a result of my sudden action.

“Don’t move yet, moron! I ain’t done,” he laughed. I wrapped my arms around myself and hunched over as the pain didn’t stop. “Lay down now,” he instructed, gently pushing me into my back again. “Yer’ still in there after all,” he added, more to himself. Sighing, I followed his instructions and stared at the high ceiling. I fiddled with my badge in my fingers.

Through the rest of my healing, the two of us were quiet. Despite my efforts not to, my mind wandered to the times I could remember spending with him in my previous life. They were the memories I clung to with all my might. Tender moments. Heated nights. As I glanced at him healing me and my lack of clothes, I felt my cheeks grow warm. I hugged myself and tried to hide it. He must have thought I was cold, because he removed his outer robe and draped it over me.

“I’m almost done,” he assured me, “then I’ll get ya’ clothes.” I only nodded. He didn’t need to know what I was thinking. Desperately, I wanted to kiss him. The torment I felt in soul society at not being able to show my affection to him was returning. _How could I still love this man so dearly?_

 

 

***

 

 

Gin had healed me enough so that my wounds weren’t physically visible, and I was able to walk. My pain had reduced drastically to the point that I could ignore it easily. I was certain my internal injuries would quickly drain the strength I managed to have, but I would have to deal with that. It would have taken far longer to heal those. The walk from the throne room to tower five was quiet and I kept my distance from Gin. Before we entered the room Aizen waited for us in, Gin reached over and snatched my badge from my hand.

“H—!” My cry of protest was cut short by his swift motion of placing his finger before his lips. Unsure why, I complied with his silent command. He leaned in close and I stiffened.

“I’ll hold onto it for ya’. If he sees it, yer’ gonna’ lose it,” he murmured. “I’ll be waitin’,” he added. Chills ran down my spine as the door opened and he pushed me inside. Before I could turn back, the door latched shut.

“Are you feeling better now, Miss Tsuki?” Came Aizen’s voice. He sat in a chair across the room from me. The back of it faced me. I sneered and tried to make a nasty remark, when my strength began to fade at an alarming rate. The air around me was so thick that I couldn’t breathe. As I began to sweat, my legs trembled, and I began to sink to my knees.

“W-what…” I gasped out desperately.

“Oh, that’s right,” Aizen said as his chair turned, and he was facing me. “I’d nearly forgotten that Szayelaporro had put that seal around your neck,” as he mentioned it, I reached up and tried to pry it off. “How sad, I’m not even doing it on purpose this time and look at how you’re suffering,” his voice was smug, and he wore an amused expression. Scowling, I continued to try and pry the seal off.

“…Fuck...!” I gasped desperately. Within only an instant, Aizen was beside me. Shock shot through me because I hadn’t seen him move. The next instant, his fingers looped around the seal and snapped it off. The relief it brought was also instantaneous. My reiatsu flared around me as I was able to feel it again. The golden light was soothing, and I no longer felt powerless. Slowly, I calmed the rush until it returned to my normal level.

“Quite unique,” remarked Aizen. I snorted.

“What do you want from me?” I spat the question. As I eyed him, I returned to my feet. He still looked amused.

“Rather confident now that you’re not at the level of a human soul.” I wouldn’t let his words sting me. Stepping back, I glared.

“I said _what do you want_ ,” I repeated myself, malice dripping from every word. While smirking, he raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t appreciate your tone, Miss Tsuki,” he said, stepping closer to me. My heart rate began to increase as slight adrenaline kicked in; I was anticipating a fight. “You should be more wary of me,” he continued, “after all, I only have to alert everyone that I am done with you and you will be reduced to nothing. I’m certain Szayelaporro would be the first to claim you for whatever scientific purposes he wishes.”

“You,” I growled, not knowing what to say. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Aizen’s favor was the only element keeping me from death, or a gruesome fate as a lab rat. Even so, I was not going to sit pretty and obedient for him after all he’d done. “Is that supposed to scare me?” I barked back at him.

“Is it?” He asked, eyeing me slyly. Losing hold of my temper, I clenched my fist and lashed out. Without missing a beat, he caught my wrist. Then, he pulled me so I was only mere inches from him. The proximity only elevated my fight or flight response and heart rate. Though, his grip on my wrist told me I wouldn’t go very far. His brown eyes locked onto my golden ones and I was immediately frozen to the spot.

“Won’t you tell me?” He asked after several moments of silence.

“Tell you what…?” I managed, unable to tear my eyes from his. When he began to move his free hand toward my face, my adrenaline once again shot up. Clenching my jaw, I yanked my wrist free from his grip and took several steps back. “ _Tell you what_ ,” I repeated firmly.

“I see you’re as defiant as ever,” he mused. “Seems Szayelaporro is making very little progress. Perhaps I should assist him while I have you here,” he offered, smirking.

“Your threats don’t bother me,” I snarled, watching him closely. If I’d had my zanpakuto, I probably wouldn’t have been as anxious.

“Is that so? Well then, come in,” he called toward the door. Daring to look away from him, I turned and watched Szayel open the door.

“If you’re finished, I’ll take her back now, Lord Aizen,” he said. My eyes widened as I realized I would be taken back there so soon.

“No!” I shouted, “No, I’m _not_ going back!” Holding my arms up defensively, I looked between the two of them. Aizen hadn’t moved, but Szayel was walking toward me. “Stay back!” I ordered, but he ignored me. Growling, I aimed my palm at him. “Shakkaho!”

As the red blast of fire zoomed toward him, he merely side stepped. The kido spell struck the wall and fizzled out. While I watched my attack fade, Szayel had used sonido to appear behind me. With one hand he locked my wrists behind my back, and his free arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders. Pulling me along, Szayel began to back toward the door.

“No!” I cried. “Let me go!” Thrashing, I closed my eyes and mustered all the strength I had to jerk myself free. Still, I was being pulled away against my will. Throwing my head back against his chest, I opened my eyes again. “You fucking—!” The insult I had on my tongue disappeared as I gasped.

It wasn’t Szayel’s unamused expression I saw, but Aizen’s grinning face.

In disbelief, I snapped my attention back to where I knew Aizen had been standing. To my utter shock, I realized no one was there. Once again, I found myself frozen.

“H-how did you,” I stammered. It only took another moment before I understood what had happened. The shock left me in a state of panic, my eyes wide. A dark laugh sounded near my ear.

“So, you can’t see through it, after all,” Aizen remarked. I continued to stare ahead, fear setting in. _He called my bluff._

“It was too easy,” he added. “That must mean that you were lying. And that day, just as everyone else had; you saw me dead on that wall.”

“You’re wrong, I—!”

“Of _course_ you did,” he laughed. “My Kyouka Suigetsu is perfect,” As he spoke, he released his arm from around my shoulders. In the same motion, he let go of one of my wrists, and used the other to spin me around so that I faced him. Then, with his free hand, he lifted my chin and was staring into my eyes again.

“Let go,” I tried, attempting to pull myself free. My fear would not cooperate, and my limbs remained stiff.

“You saw my corpse, but Gin told me what happened that day. He said you sounded so sure that it was a trick when you were talking to Hinamori. You were right, of course, but considering you were fooled just now,” he pondered, “so _easily_ ,” he added; the comment stung. “Then it is impossible that you could have seen through it that day. The only other possible answer for you being right—aside from sheer luck—is that you _knew_.”

“Stop touching me,” I said with a grimace.

“But, how could someone like you have possibly known?” He continued, ignoring me. “Where could you have gathered such information? Gin also told me about the files you took from the third company office,” he leaned closer to me, “the ones about the hollowfication incident and Kisuke Urahara’s exile,” I squeezed my eyes shut in response. “How could you know anything about that event? That happened before you even entered the academy. The knowledge you have is impossible. So, who are you, really?”

Suddenly, an idea struck. It was time to stop being afraid. Snapping my eyes open again, I raised my reiatsu as high as I could. My frustration that was tamped down moments ago spiked as well. Then, I swung my leg back and launched it forward, aiming at the man’s side. In order to block and counter, as I knew he would, he released his hands from my face and wrist.

Aizen easily stopped my kick with his arm. That didn’t stop me, though. I used the stop to propel my body to twist into the air and I aimed my other leg to strike the top of his head. My efforts were in vain, however, as he grabbed my ankle while I was in the air and threw me to the floor several feet away. I landed on my back; the impact winding me. The force of the fall also worsened my partially healed internal wounds.

“Agh!” I gasped out at impact. Then, I coughed, tasting the familiar twinge of iron. Sitting up and dropping forward onto my hands, I continued to cough. The action sent sharp pains through my entire chest. “Damn…” I choked out.

“Seems your wounds are deeper than could be treated in such a short time,” stated Aizen. His smirk was still present, but it seemed he was less amused and more irritated. Using flash step, he appeared in front of me. “If you cut down on that defiant behavior, I could have you healed fully,” he offered, eyeing me.

“What’s the point in that?!” I snapped as blood dribbled down my chin. “You heal me and then send me right back to that place! And in the matter of a single day I’ll be right back where I was before Gin healed me! There is no point, I won’t obey you!”

“Pity,” he sighed. “Though, I’m not against forcing what I want from you.”

“‘Who are you’,” I copied him in a scoff. “Like you could force me to tell you who I am.”

“Unwise of you to be so sure,” he said, reaching toward me. With a sneer, I slapped his hands away. “So be it,” he added, once again amused at my behavior.

Just as he had when we’d first arrived in the palace, Aizen began suffocating me with his powerful reiatsu. This time, I fought against the force harder, but it still yielded the same result. Already on my hands and knees, the pressure around me caused violent trembling in my limbs. Sweat began to slide down my face as the air was forced from my lungs. He didn’t let up until I’d collapsed onto the floor in a heap.

When he finally did release me of that torment, I gasped hard. Then, I remained where I was on the floor, exhausted and panting. The pain in my chest had increased significantly and breathing alone brought heaps of unwanted agony. Slowly, I pulled myself back into my knees and wrapped a tight arm around my chest. I kept my head down.

“I’m impressed,” Aizen admitted, “that should have rendered you unconscious.”

“Fine,” I wheezed, glaring up at him through my hair. “You wanna’ know who I am, huh?” Slowly, I was climbing to my feet. Not once did I take my eyes from him. Exhaling painfully, I stood straight and faced him defiantly. I even dropped my arm from around my ribs.

“I am Kaiya Tsuki,” I declared in confidence. “I lived in west Rukongai with my brother Renji. We watched all our friends die before we decided to become Shinigami. Through hard work, I became the Lieutenant of Third Company,” as I spoke, his amused expression faded to dissatisfaction. “And,” I said, taking a single step toward him, “I am the only one who knew you did not die that day!”

As I spoke, Aizen had snatched my wrist and pulled me uncomfortably close to him. I hadn’t realized until I was once again forced to look him in the eye. Trying not to grimace, I stood firm and allowed him to see the hatred in my eyes. It didn’t seem to faze him though.

“First, I don’t appreciate you lying through your teeth,” he said calmly.

“I’m not—!”

“Do you really think that the rank you ‘earned’ was your own doing?” He continued, interrupting me. “It was Gin who set it up. Truthfully, I was skeptical, and he was trying to convince me I could use you. Of course, he was right. Still, the only things interesting about you are your secrets and those abilities.”

“What…?” I asked, my confidence draining. “You said it was—?”

“Gin,” he answered, interrupting me again. “He’d been watching you for some time before reporting to me. I believe he said he started watching you one night long ago after he heard you chasing after him.”

“That’s not—...” I tried.

“He said when he turned around, you had disappeared down a different walkway,” Aizen was grinning again as he saw the shock in my eyes. By that point, all earlier confidence I had was gone. “Did you think you had truly gone unnoticed? Why else would he have started watching you and report to me regarding your insignificant existence? Though, I can and will make that more significant since I have you here with me. I was delighted to hear you had agreed after you were imprisoned that day. Scared of death, are you?”

I could no longer bring myself to speak. Everything he told me had been spinning in my mind so fast it made me dizzy. As if that wasn’t enough, I’d never been more terrified of him. There was too much to take in in such little time. It was hard to believe I had been monitored from the very start.

“It’s understandable, of course,” Aizen continued, “for someone at your level, that is. Worry not, however, because I plan on making you much stronger. But first, I want to see more of that healing you have, and your Bankai.” To my surprise, he released me and stepped away, back to me. “I’ll set up a means to spark your progression starting tomorrow. Szayelaporro will be notified and will continue his own studies at the same time. There will be a schedule of sorts devised so that I can increase your power and he can unlock what you hide away,” now several feet away, he turned and faced me again. “As for tonight, you will stay here, with me.”

“What?” I finally managed. My voice was quiet and laced with continued shock and disbelief.

“You will be my company tonight.”


	16. Sixteen

“Must’ve been some fun~!” Remarked Gin. He sat across from Aizen in one of the scattered control rooms. His legs were crossed, and he wore a delighted grin.

Aizen could still see the girl writhing beneath him, though several hours had passed since then. Clear in his mind was her nude body, the arms he’d had to bind, the golden eyes flashed only a handful of times, and the color her face had flushed. It was a rather cute shade of pink. Her breathless cries still rang in his ears. He never thought he’d be so pleased by the likes of her. Merely thinking of it sparked more desire, but he was a man of control and would not be swayed by his own excitement.

The girl had to be restrained, of course, but Aizen found fun in that as well. The look in her eyes when she knew what would happen only brought him more amusement. Though, he did wonder how it would have been if he hadn’t restrained her. Not that she would ever give herself over. She had far too much pride for that. Even with her arms bound, she still fought; it was a smart move to tie her down. He could still see the pleasure in her eyes, despite her struggle.

He held not even a single shred of sympathy for the tears of shame that spilled down her cheeks. It was certain that she knew as well as he did; that she enjoyed it. The sounds she’d made, as well as the way her body moved with his, proved that much. It would likely be some time before Aizen could shake her from his mind. Another aspect was certain in his mind: he wanted more.

“I suppose so,” he finally answered his comrade, still in his thoughts. Gin leaned toward him.

“That’s all? Was it not as fun as ya’ wanted?” He sounded almost disappointed.

“It’s not that,” Aizen admitted.

“Oh, I get it!” Gin gasped in realization, “Ya’ miss Hinamori-chan~!”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “She was too innocent,” Aizen paused. Then he folded his palms and pushed away the thoughts of his night. “It was plenty of fun.”

“Is that why she’s on the screen now?” He asked as he looked at one of the monitors. The girl was still in his bed, hiding beneath the covers. “She’s awake, ain’t she?”

“Yes, she has been awake from some time now. I was curious to see what she would do.”

“Oho~!” Gin chimed, “Did’ja leave the doors unlocked?”

“I did. Although, she only has one place to go from where she is. We will meet her there, along with everyone else.”

 

 

***

 

 

In my head, I was screaming.

I wanted to scream out loud. With my voice, I wanted to howl my despair, my frustration, and my unfortunate satisfaction. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs. The whole dead world I was stuck in needed to hear how I was suffering. I needed to bang against the walls and doors. But I couldn’t do any of those things. If I did, it would draw unnecessary attention to me.

The truth of the matter was: I woke up alone. Sure, I was still in his bed. Still dressed in the clothes he had given me. I could still smell his scent around me, on the covers that surrounded me, and on my skin. The latter causing a deep shudder of disgust. But I was alone. And I sure as hell wanted to keep it that way.

If he was still in the room, I didn’t want him to know I was awake. Instead, I remained hidden under the big, thick blanket. My body was curled as I lay on my side; my hands buried in my hair. Eyes wide, my mind raced over what had happened.

After everything he had told me, Aizen instructed me to leave. He’d said Gin would be waiting for me. Gin, who really was waiting for me, said words I never would have expected from him. Not with the amount of genuine concern he had for me at least. It must have been from the sight of blood dripping from my mouth and my arms wrapped tightly around my ribs.

_“Are ya’ okay?”_

I only shook my head. Then, I was following him. Gin had led me away and into an empty room. Just like that, he was healing me again. This time, we didn’t share any conversation. Truthfully, I was trying to figure out why Aizen wanted me healed after I clearly defied him.

When he was finished, he simply stood and walked to the door. His goodbye was a small wave before he disappeared. For a second, I thought I was in the clear. One night in solitude was more than bearable if it meant I could sleep free of worry of Szayel or Aizen. Unfortunately, I was very wrong.

Aizen was the next one to open the door.  If I had known what he meant about his “company” comment, I probably would have tried to make a run for it. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a clue, but I tried my best to think otherwise. That was fault of my own. The door had opened up into a rather large bedroom. Before I knew it, I was restrained on his bed, completely naked and he was—

_No, no no no, no! Stop thinking about it!_

As I curled in on myself more, I moved my hands from my hair to cover my face. I fought, and I fought hard, but it didn’t make much difference during the night. There was no way I could win against Aizen, especially not without my zanpakuto. My twin blades were still locked away in Szayel’s palace. Not to mention I was thoroughly restrained. Despite everything, there was still one fact I wish I could forget or ignore.

It was _good._

**_No!_ ** _Dammit get off that, you still need to find a way out of here. Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

I was alone, I was certain of it. I’d been alone for a while, it seemed like. It was probably over an hour since I had woken up. No one was in the room with me. Even if he was, then maybe I would be nicer and—

“No!!” I cried aloud. Then, I threw the blanket off me and jumped to my feet. Pacing, I rubbed my temples and tried to free myself of such thoughts. _It’s **not** happening again!_

As I looked around, I realized I truly was alone in the bedroom. Dropping my hands, I began to creep around slowly, as if I could be heard. There were only two doors. With one last careful look around the entire room, I turned and ran for the nearest one. I was relieved to see it opened to a hallway and not another closed off room. Without wasting a single moment, I fled; not once looking back.

It was immediately apparent that my path was set up. There was not a single other door in the long hallway I raced down. The only other one I saw was when I reached the end. It opened without much effort and I found myself in the throne room. Still, I kept running in hopes of another exit. My hopes were shattered when I ran face first into my “caretaker”. The force of impact caused me to stumble backward, but it seemed like he was unaffected.

“Shit,” I cursed under my breath.

“I do hope you’ve enjoyed your taste of freedom, _rat_ ,” Szayel said, narrowed eyes trained on me. Without another word, I bolted in another direction. _Find a way out._

Finding cover in the shadows along the edge of the room, I kept running. There _had_ to be another door. As I rushed, I began to feel just how many were gathered in the throne room. Before I could make any kind of further progress, I was caught by one of them. Quickly, I discovered it was _another_ espada.

“Let go!” I demanded, trying to yank myself from his grip. Firmly he held both of my wrists and prevented me from going anywhere. His expression was one I couldn’t read through, and he would not look me in my glaring eyes. It almost seemed as if he were bored. Although I knew next to nothing about him, the striking hair and physique was too recognizable.

_Grimmjow._

I hadn’t realized I’d slowed my struggles until he finally gave me his attention. Something very small in his expression shifted as he watched me closely. It was like he could see that I recognized him. The moment lasted less than an instant, though. Before I could do anything more, I was thrown into the center of the room. His shove landed me on my back.

“Welcome, everyone,” Aizen announced as I picked myself back up. I hadn’t realized he had joined us. “It is time I begin my own purposes for our guest here,” he left his grinning gaze on me. I had reason to believe I was the only one in his sights, despite the audience. I snorted.

“Fuck off,” I barked, standing proud.

“I have decided we will assist in the development of her abilities. Those interested are more than welcome to participate. I will be calling on my espada when I feel she is in need of a particular push. Is everything clear?” Throughout the expanse of the room, there was agreement. “Then we will begin today. Loly and Menoly, would you two kindly be her first opponents?”

“Wait!” I said urgently as the two he called stepped toward me. “Wait a damn minute! _Develop my abilities_?! Who said I ever agreed to this!” As I spoke, I swung my arm out to emphasize the strange meeting.

“I don’t recall giving you a say in the matter,” Aizen stated simply. My chest felt as though he had struck me with a blade. Though, I wasn’t exactly sure why I was surprised.

“You just expect me to fight? Just like that!” I shouted in outrage.

“Of course,” he told me, “your life is on the line after all,” another hefty strike. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I was magically bleeding.

“You,” I growled, clenching my fists, “you sick fuck!” Contemplating making another run for any kind of exit, I glanced around me without turning my head. Just in front of me were too many that could capture me if I tried to run. “Fine,” I finally gave in. “But you expect me to fight in this,” I grabbed the front of my clothes and jerked them around for emphasis, “this floral yukata and without my blades?!”

“Szayelaporro,” was all he said. Without missing a beat, I turned to see the pink haired man behind me. Outstretched in his arms were folded clothes and my girls. At the sight of them, I snatched them away from him and held them close. It was the first time I’d felt any type of genuine comfort since being there. He handed over the new clothes as I clutched my blades.

“We’ve prepared a room for you to change your attire,” Aizen spoke up again. I didn’t look at him. The sound of a door being opened told me the direction I needed to go, so I went. It wasn’t a room so much as a closet.

Unfolding the clothes, I expected to see another of Szayel’s mandatory uniforms. Instead, they looked much more suited for physical exertion. By the way it fit as I put the top and bottoms on, it seemed as though tailored with me in mind. The thought was a little creepy, but I could only figure this was in store for me from the beginning. Aizen knew very well how to plan ahead.

“Fuckin’ weird,” I sighed as I donned the matching boots. The outfit was the typical white on black color scheme. Without another word, I walked back into the main hall and left the yukata behind.

My opponents, Loly and Menoly, were waiting for me. Everyone else had moved back some distance and found their own places to spectate. Defiantly, I turned to Aizen. Then, gesturing to the arrancar women, I called him out:

“Instead of using your pawns, why not fight me yourself?”

“As I mentioned previously, it is quite difficult to step on an ant without killing it,” Aizen grinned as he spoke. My blood boiled.

“Bastard,” I spat. My pants had convenient loops that I tied the sheaths of my zanpakuto to. Rather than waste any more time arguing, I pulled them free of their casing and took up my battle trash stance. “I’ll show you what I got, alright.”

 

 

 

Loly and Menoly were certainly _not_ impressive. Their fighting style was sloppy, full of holes, and they didn’t seem coordinated with each other. Not long after our battle started, I’d nearly incapacitated the both of them. Truthfully, I was bored. Pointing my blades to the ground, my opponents’ blood dripped from them. I had a couple of injuries, but they were nothing more than bruises or scratches. Throwing my head up, I sighed in exasperation.

“Okay, I’m done with these two. I don’t even need to use Consume or Reflect,” I announced coldly. Nothing but my blades on their own had been used against them and it seemed as though neither were capable of much more. Though, my zanpakuto were released.

“Bitch,” snarled Loly, “I’ll show you! Poison, Escolopendra!” At the sound of none other than the Resurrección of an arrancar, momentary panic flooded me. _Fuck, I forgot!_ Because of my panic, I was too slow in avoiding her first attack. One of her centipede-like arms lashed out and struck my leg before I managed to send it away with my blade.

“Consume!” I managed the command as I cut into her shallowly. Chi stole what she could before Loly retracted her appendage. I thought her own attack wasn’t much either, until I felt an excruciating burning. “What—!” I cried out as pain engulfed me. On my leg where I’d been struck was a substance I could only assume was a poison. Loly was laughing where she stood. As I clenched my jaw, a command sounded.

“Heal,” it was Aizen. He sounded firm in his order; I knew he was talking to me. With a low growl, I squeezed Chi’s handle.

“Revive,” I said, voice low. The poison had dissipated, leaving an awful wound behind. Chi immediately began to heal it with Loly’s blood she had stolen.  It wasn’t enough to close it completely, but the pain faded, and I was left with a single scratch. The healing covered all of my other, smaller wounds. As it happened the first time I revealed my healing ability, I received mixed reactions. Loly looked horrified and outraged at the same time.

“Don’t think your tricks will help you win!” She called as she glared at me. Both of her elongated limbs were sent at me in the next instant. Without hesitation, I lashed out at the nearest one. With my speed I managed to cut off a nice chunk of the limb. Unfortunately, as she voiced her pain, the other struck my shoulder and side. The resulting poison brought more of the horrendous burning. It ate through my flesh with incredible speed. Over my cries, I heard the command again.

“Heal.”

“Damn,” I cursed under my breath. Then, I flung away the last of her poison and watched it evaporate. “Chi,” my jaw was clenched tightly, and I hissed the command through my teeth “Revive!”

Once again, my wounds healed. When I’d cut into her limb and removed a piece, Chi was able to fill her reservoir. The resulting healing was perfect. But a slight fatigue was settling into my limbs. With a glance to Aizen, I saw that he was still watching expectantly. Then, Loly was attacking me once more.

 

 

 

_“Heal.”_

_“Heal.”_

_“Heal.”_

One after the other, over and over. Each time I received an injury, big or small, I received that command. It was especially pressing when he knew I had Loly’s blood in the blade. My fatigue was growing. Each of my movements were sluggish and my reactions were worse and worse. I couldn’t stop her next attack. The centipede-like arm struck me in the chest and sent me onto my back several feet away. Despite everything, she was in worse shape than I. Unlike me, her wounds weren’t being healed and she was slowing far more than I was. The attack broke ribs, but her special poison wasn’t there like before.

“Heal,” a sixth time. Aizen commanded it as I struggled to bring myself to my feet. Chi was full again; more than capable of healing my broken ribs.

_Kaiya, **don’t.**_

It was the first they had spoken to me since I’d had them back. Both of them at the same time, and they sounded desperate to keep me from it. But it was my life on the line, and I was not going to lose it to someone like Loly. With resignation on my face, I held them tight.

“Revive,” I asked gently. Chi obeyed. The pain in my chest faded, but I was far from normal. My legs trembled violently beneath me. There was no longer an ounce of energy left in me. Even so, I took a step forward in an attempt to end the battle by beheading the arrancar.

I ended up face first on the floor.

Loly, who was in worse shape, but still somehow on her feet, donned an expression of excitement. Me being down seemed to give her a second wind because she rushed me. She and Menoly were shouting about a victory and death of a worthless Shinigami. My heart stopped in my chest as I realized what she was going to do. It was hopeless, I couldn’t do anything in the state I was in. Neither of my zanpakuto had anything in their reservoirs. _I’m going to die from this girl?_

Tousen suddenly appeared between the two of us, forcing Loly to freeze in her tracks.

“That’s enough,” Aizen said as Tousen did so. “Everyone may return to their own leisure. We will resume at another time, soon.”

“What?! But you said—!” Loly cried, once again outraged. He flashed her an unamused look that quickly silenced her. Probable embarrassment sent her away and out a far door. Others followed.

“Certainly interesting,” Aizen was regarding me. “Fitting that healing such as yours would have a high cost of reiatsu consumption. I didn’t think it would be limitless, of course.” As he spoke, Tousen lifted me from the floor. “We’ll have to see if we can increase your capacity for the consumption. Next time, I’d like to see more of your offensive abilities so we can determine improvements for those as well. Gin, Tousen, let’s prepare her a proper meal then converse privately.”

“Sure, Captain~!” Gin agreed, grinning as always. Normally, I would have been angry at being treated like nothing more than an upgradable toy. Unfortunately, my level of exhaustion left me limp in the arms of the blind ex-captain. My eyes drooped to half-lidded. I certainly overdid the healing and I could only wonder how long it would take before I was back to normal.

 

 

 

Once I’d received my meal, the three of them left me alone. The food that sat on the table in front of me was more than enticing. I hadn’t had a scrap to eat since coming to Las Noches and I was quickly realizing my hunger. It was a nice large meal and I knew it would do me well. Any possible dangers flitted from my mind as I sat in the chair and ate.

My lack of energy made my limbs feel strange, but after resting some I was able to move again. The food also helped more than I thought it would. I wasn’t at full capacity, but it wouldn’t be more than a day to reach it again. Unfortunately, I was trapped again. The empty loops at my hips only confirmed my _mouse-in-a-cage_ status.

_Of **course** they wouldn’t leave them with me._

When I finished, I sighed and leaned back in my chair. I rolled my head back and stared at the ceiling high above me. _How the hell am I gonna’ get out of here?_ It seemed hopeless. No matter where I was stuck, I was surrounded by locked doors or people I would have to fight. Unlike with Szayel, I wasn’t left with a reiatsu seal, but leaving me unarmed didn’t make things much easier. I could use kido spells, sure, but even those wouldn’t do much.

“I have to get out of here,” I repeated myself, this time aloud. “Somehow.”


	17. Seventeen

Gin was almost surprised at how much he still wanted to play with his underling.

“That Kai-chan~” He cooed. Even after all that had happened, after all that had happened to _her_ , the girl was still so interesting. It had seemed like she was breaking when he spoke with her. Her instant denial when he had pointed it out was more than amusing.

She’d allowed herself to be weak before him, even if only for a moment.

“Now why would ya’ go an’ do that?” He asked her in his imagination. Gin had no doubt that while in that lab, she did not show any sort of weakness. Not even in front of Aizen did she allow that part of her through. That Kaiya was a stone wall. An unbreakable wall to all but him. The mystery behind it only made him that much more interested in her.

It was too bad he was unable to play just yet. His boredom was killer and the only thing on his mind was the enticing red and white hair, gold eyes that seemed to glow, and weakness hidden to everyone but him. Alas, the girl was Aizen’s toy, he knew that much. Gin hadn’t expected Aizen to pounce as quickly as he had, but perhaps there was something about her that even someone like Aizen couldn’t resist.

At that moment, he could feel the girl in the room set aside for only her. There was no way for her to leave and she was left with a rather large dinner. It was so tempting just how close that room was to him. But he would have to be patient. There would be a perfect time and Gin would know it when it came. There was no doubt about that. Of course, the time would come.

After all, he still owed Kaiya a punishment.

 

 

***

 

 

Thanks to Aizen’s new plan, Szayel’s research was halted up to eighty percent. _Obviously,_ he was more than capable of gathering data during her predetermined battles. Unfortunately, the information he needed regarding her “secrets” was unobtainable through those methods. The girls mind was locked up tightly, leaving Szayel no room to meddle.

At least, not while she was _conscious_.

Szayel made such a discovery during his stimulus experiment. While she succumbed to only the most authentic means of pain, he worked restlessly to unravel pieces of her mind. However, the stimulus was not enough. Szayel would receive pings in all of the perfect places, but they were not enough to yield the results he was looking for. Kaiya was a smart little rat; he could give her that much.

Her conscious mind, even under that much stress, still pushed him out.

Szayel needed to create a way to have her conscious and unconscious at the same time. In the short time that he’d been relieved of being her guardian, he had already come up with a solution. It would take some time, though. Szayel was sure to inform Aizen about the proceeding. But, Szayel wasn’t going about his work to please him. Rather, it was his own selfish desire that pushed him to such great lengths.

Almost instantaneously Szayel knew that his rat knew him. It was easy to pick up on how the color in her eyes shifted every time she saw a face she clearly recognized. He had been exposed to these shifts since the moment Aizen revealed to her that she would be under his care in the lab. The most recent was his quick glance when she had been caught by the sexta. There was no doubt that she recognized him easily. The fact that her knowing anyone in Hueco Mundo was impossible alighted Szayel’s curiosity. It was on his own accord that he altered an entire subsection of the lab to compensate for his newest experiment.

It would work, he was certain of it. Once the chamber was built, and she was inside, he would be able to collect the data he was after. Szayel would unlock her mind without her frustrating interference. He would not have to hear her obnoxious barking. Just a couple of short weeks was all he needed.

“You can’t hide from me anymore,” mused Szayel as he worked.

 

 

***

 

 

A week came and went.

Each day I was subjected to another battle. My opponent seemed to be predetermined by Aizen himself. Every time I was told my life was on the line. The stress at hearing that fueled me. At least it did, until I realized he wasn’t actually going to let me die. Not yet, anyway.

Aizen was true to his word; he was progressing me and my abilities. With each battle he studied me, my fighting technique, and the powers I possessed. Surprisingly, though, he had yet to ask me about my Bankai. I was almost glad for that because I had very little idea on how to use it.

“Excellent,” Aizen praised as I stood over my defeated opponent. I really had improved a lot in such a short time. “Your reflexes are faster, your stamina has increased, and you have even managed to withstand more healings. You’re at eight now.” I said nothing. He was correct about everything, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t exhausted from healing myself. “That’s enough for today. Starting tomorrow, you’ll be facing espada from now on. It is time to see your Bankai and progress that as well.”

_Shit_.

“Why?” I asked, turning to face him. “Why go to all this trouble? What exactly are you achieving by all of this?” Irritation was in my voice, but my curiosity guided my words. Aizen looked amused as he looked down on me from above.

“I have larger plans in mind for you,” he said simply. “This is merely a preliminary step toward those plans.”

“It’s always _plans_ with you,” I scoffed, turning away. _Didn’t answer my damn question._ “What plans?” I continued, not facing him.

“This is a private matter,” he responded as dismissal. With a frustrated growl, I walked toward the door I was always allowed through after my battles. As I pushed open the door, he called after me.

“I’d like you to go to tower five after your meal,” was his instruction. For only an instant, I froze, then quickly left. His living quarters were in tower five and he did not specify where I was supposed to go. _Shit, don’t tell me he wants me like that again!_ Without a word, I left the room and made my way to where I normally ate.

 

 

 

While by myself, I began to reflect. One improvement Aizen failed to mention was my ranged attack. The projectiles I could send at my opponents have a limited distance, which I had also increased. The battles were intense and four of the days I’d had to fight in more than one. At the beginning, I was rescued from opponents as I spent all my energy. Toward the end of the week, I was defeating all who were thrown at me.

“I thought he just wanted to know ‘ _who I am_ ’ and now he’s saying he has _big plans_ for me,” I groaned, leaning back in my chair. “Well, this is still better than being beaten by that damn Szayel.”

I played a game of balance with my chair for a few minutes before I sat straight again. My plate was empty, so I pushed it away and stood up. But I was not about to simply waltz into the fifth tower like I was told. Instead, I inspected the room carefully. It was small; a square shape. There was only enough room to fit the table I stood over and give me walking room. The only door was behind me. No windows. _Still the same._

Turning, I opened the door. Ahead was a three-way hall. The hallway to my right led to tower five with no other doors; a straight shot to Aizen. Directly in front of me would take me the short distance back into the throne room. All of my battles had taken place there. I had never set foot down the left hallway. Most times, it wasn’t even an option. I thanked luck that it was. Without another thought, I launched into a sprint down the left hallway.

I was expecting another straight corridor with no surrounding doors. The latter was correct, but it was very quickly that I came across a left or right split. Because I had already turned left from my dining room, I decided to tear off in the direction that lead me right. _If I take a zigzag pattern, it’ll lead me far from here._

Three more turns. I made sure to alternate them accordingly. Some of the corridors were long stretches, others very short. After making the third turn, I began to notice doorways appear. _That means I’m making progress away from my prison, right?!_ Despite the chances, the possibility for danger was still too high. Rather than opening doors just yet, I continued running.

Another turn. My heart was racing in my chest both from the physical exertion as well as the growing anxiety of someone appearing in front of me. After all, the latter had already happened twice when I made a run for it. The likelihood of it happening again was too high for my liking. But, if I wanted to escape, I needed to take chances. Ahead of me was another split; I was approaching it with astounding speed. _Left!_

“Keep g— _oof!_ ” The air was forced from my lungs as I collided with someone at full speed. The force of impact sent both of us back, but we stayed on our feet. I doubled over, putting my hands on my knees while trying to regain my breath.

“You again!” snarled the person I’d ran into. Straightening myself, I sent a glare and my eyes locked onto azure ones. For a moment, I paused at the sight of him. Then, my glare returned, and a growl rumbled in my chest.

“You! Gonna’ throw me again, huh?!” I barked, frustration building. “I ain’t letting you catch me again so get the hell out of my way!” As I shouted, he shoved his fists in his pockets. He regarded me coldly with the same unreadable expression as before.

“Watch where you’re fuckin’ going,” he growled as response. Although the comment seemed as though he didn’t care that I was running from captivity, he still didn’t move.

“I said get out of the way!” I repeated. A smirk crept onto his lips. He tilted his head back slightly and was looking at me with more interest than he had before. His bare chest shook slightly as he let out a laugh.

“What are you gonna’ do?” He taunted, realizing what I already knew and dreaded. “They took away your toys, you’re defenseless!” As my expression changed to reflect the rage I felt, he laughed again. Then, I pointed a palm at him.

“Sokatsui!!” I roared. The blue kido spell launched at him. To my further anger, he flicked it away like nothing. He wore a wide grin as it exploded against a wall. Then, he was advancing on me.

“Why don’t you go back to your nest before I have to make you? I’m not interested in you without those blades of yours,” he told me as I backed away from his advancement. Still, I glared daggers at him. “I will make you,” he added, lifting an arm to grab me. I’d backed myself into a wall and he was looming over me. Before he could grab my clothes as he reached, however, Gin appeared between us.

“I’ll take it from here, Grimmjow~!” He announced gleefully. As soon as Gin had come, Grimmjow’s grin vanished.

“Tch. Fine,” he huffed. Then, he turned on his heel and walked away. I watched him go, frozen where I stood. With my back still pressed against the wall, I began to question which would be the worst outcome. Gin no doubt would be taking me to Aizen. _But was Grimmjow serious about that?_ There was no way to know. Quickly, I shook myself from my thoughts and clenched my fists.

“I’m not going,” I spat defiantly. Gin giggled.

“Disobeyin’ orders again, are ya’? Ah, but ya’ haven’t learned cause ya’ haven’t been reprimanded yet, eh, Kai-chan~?” He dragged out the nickname and I shuddered. I tried to jump around him, but he caught my shoulder. “Aizen doesn’t like ta’ wait.” Then, suddenly, the air rushed around us and we were in the narrow hallway that lead to tower five.

“No,” I growled, defeated.

“Go on,” he instructed, grinning. With his hand, he nudged me forward. Clenching my fists and jaw so tightly they ached, I walked down the hall. Gin followed, several steps behind me. “Seems the kitty has his eye on ya’ too,” he mused, more to himself. I rolled my eyes and kept walking.

Not long later, we reached the door at the end of the hall. I stood in front of it for several moments, not wanting to open it. With a glance behind me, I saw Gin watching me expectantly. A low growl rumbled in my chest. Then, I flung open the door angrily.

“Welcome,” Aizen greeted without missing a beat. I did not respond.

“She was pickin’ a fight with Mr. Sexta!” Gin told him. I looked at a wall away from the two of them.

“He started it,” I scoffed. _If he would have just moved, I would still be running._

“No matter,” Aizen waved it off. “Could not have been much of a fight anyway.” Without needing to look, I could tell he wore a mocking grin.

“Give me my zanpakuto back,” I snarled, facing him again. My encounter with Grimmjow had only fueled my frustration at how helpless I was. I was ready to lash out, fangs bared.

“You won’t be needing them right now,” was all he said as response.

“I don’t care if I need them or not, give them back!” I roared, charging at him. In an instant, Gin was restraining me. In a fit of rage, I thrashed and wriggled against his strong grip. All that did was make me look like some stupid animal. Even so, I did not stop. “I’m not some pet—some stupid toy you can play with, dammit!!”

“I think it is time I put my purpose for you into motion,” Aizen continued, brushing off my anger like nothing. He probably thought I was nothing more than a child having a tantrum.

“I refuse!” I shot back, still trying to free myself from Gin’s hold. Having stood up, Aizen was approaching us.

“You’re free to do so, but that won’t change the matter.” His condescending tone only strengthened the fire in my chest. My teeth were gnashed together as I glared at him with the burning intensity of my desperate intent to destroy him.

“If looks could kill!” Gin giggled at my ear.

“Keep her steady,” Aizen instructed.

“Fuck off!” I warned, still shouting. He stood directly in front of me as I fumed. Then, he reached into a pocket and withdrew something small. Aizen held the item out between two fingers and his thumb so I could see it clearly.

All of my anger melted away and my eyes widened at the sight of it; I was frozen in place.


	18. Chapter 18

“What’cha toyin’ with, Captain?” It was Gin, as if on cue. Aizen smirked.

“You could call it a bit of a gift,” he explained, “for our dear friend in the other room.”

“Oh, a gift? I didn’t think ya’ liked her like that!”

“I don’t,” Aizen said, shaking his head. “Truthfully, she won’t like this ‘gift’ either. I’m sure of that.” Gin was leaning in to sneak a look at what Aizen held in his hands. At the sight of it, he gasped.

“The Hogyoku?”

“Not the original, no. I have created this one specifically for her,” Aizen explained.

“Why would ya’ go an’ do that?” Gin asked, astonished.

“It’s a key component in one of my most important tests yet. Kaiya Tsuki has the honor of being my subject.” Gin could tell that Aizen knew exactly what he wanted to achieve.

“Is that so?” He said, returning to his normal lounging. “I can see why ya’ say she ain’t gonna’ like it~!”

“She certainly won’t,” Aizen restated. “But her opinion is invalid here, after all. She does not even have to cooperate; the end will still be the same.” Aizen eyed the small but powerful thing in his hand. “Speaking of our dear friend, it seems she decided to take a walk rather than joining us as requested.”

“I’ll go an’ fetch her then,” Gin offered. Aizen only nodded. Then, Gin was gone, moving through the halls after the escaped girl.

“This should turn out to be quite interesting.”

 

 

***

 

 

“W-What are you going to do with that?” I managed, still rooted to the spot. Even if Gin hadn’t been holding me, I would’ve still been frozen. Aizen held it like nothing, but I knew as much as anyone how powerful it was. _The hogyoku._ Yet, something about it seemed off.

Quickly, I tried to recall every detail of what had happened on Sokyoku Hill. Aizen had removed the very object he held directly from Rukia’s chest. _Or had he?_ It looked different from what I could remember. The size and color did not match up. In fact, I was certain the original had a bluish violet color. The one held put before me glowed a brilliant gold. As if made of my own reiatsu.

“It seems you recognize the difference already,” Aizen remarked. “Excellent. This is a fully functioning replica of the original hogyoku. As of now, it belongs to you.” I gawked at him.

“Why?”

“I need to record and monitor the effects, of course,” Aizen said as though it was obvious. My eyes were still wide as I glanced to the small object, then back to his face.

“E-Effects of what?” I almost didn’t want to know. Rather than speak, Aizen advanced closer. It seemed he’d rather demonstrate what he was talking about. I definitely didn’t want him any closer to me. “Let go!” I begged urgently, once again tugging against Gin’s grip. “Please, I don’t want that!”

“Miss Tsuki, were you aware that the hogyoku can grant your desires by simply being near it?” Aizen was trying to distract me as he reached out with it on his hand. “Quite powerful, even in this duplicate created solely for you.”

“No,” I pressed. “No!”

“You have the potential for power that transcends all beings. This is your key to achieving that ascension. You will be the first to hold such power, you should consider it an honor. I will be able to perfect it with your help.”

“Why would I want to help you?!” I cried, pushing myself away from his extending arm. Gin didn’t budge behind me. After giving a small shrug, Aizen smirked.

“What a shame. Still, you will fuse with this hogyoku here.” The next instant, Aizen was drawing on the power of it. In the same motion, he plunged it into my chest just below the center of my collar bone. If at all possible, my eyes widened further at impact. A small gagging sound was forced from me as I gaped in horror.

Aizen released the hogyoku he said was _created for me_. Sparks of light emitted from it before my chest began to close around it. A strange sensation swept through me as it did so. It was an incredible burst of power that lasted only a moment. I could feel my own deep seeded desires rising to the surface as the thing prodded for them. Then, the feeling vanished, as if taken away. A new sensation took its place; immediately I felt exhausted and my vision began to blur.

“In order for you to truly reach your potential, I have placed a seal around the hogyoku.” As Aizen resumed speaking, Gin released me. My legs collapsed beneath me and I began to fall. Aizen did not stop speaking as I did so. “The seal will be broken once you have reached a level strong enough to break it. Until then, it will remain sealed as it is now. I expect you to break the seal soon, Miss Tsuki.” I hit the ground as he said my name. My vision had blurred so deeply I could no longer see anything but fuzzy colors.

“Oh, but take caution,” Aizen’s warning was the only thing I heard as I slipped out of consciousness. “There are several, even here, that want the power of the hogyoku to themselves.”

 

 

 

_“This is impossible,” it was the first time I had ever heard Szayel sound so astonished. Truthfully, I didn’t like the way it sounded. It set me on edge immediately._

_“What? What’s impossible?” I asked urgently. After all, whatever had him stunned had to do with me. I had sought out his help because something wasn’t right. Nor did I think it was something the normal healers of Las Noches needed to be concerned with. I wasn’t injured, I just felt **off**. _

_“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Let me run it once or twice more, just to be certain.” Szayel wasn’t giving me an inch and I was still completely clueless about what was so shocking. Still, I found myself nodding in agreement._

_“Go ahead,” I responded. In silence, I allowed him to go about his work. He ran it not once or even twice, but three more times. Each result, his expression was the same. At the fourth confirmation, he sat back. It seemed like there was no denying what he had discovered. “What is it!” I pressed, my own curiosity sparking in my chest._

_“There is no chance for this to be even remotely possible, but there it is, right there in front of me!” He gestured to the monitor with his hand. “It’s like it’s mocking me!”_

_“Tell me what you’re talking about!” I demanded, jumping to my feet. “What’s so impossible that it’s got you like this!”_

_“This,” Szayel said simply before turning the monitor so I could see it. For several moments I stared at the screen. Then, I raised my eyebrow slowly and returned my gaze to him. After rubbing the bridge of his nose and sighing in exasperation, Szayel pointed at a distinct portion of the monitor. “This here, you see?”_

_“Yes,” I said, nodding. On screen was clearly my own body, but I didn’t understand much more than that._

_“That is an embryo.”_

_“An em—excuse me a **what**?!” At first, I was repeating him, then what he had said dawned on me. _

_“An embryo. Offspring in the first process of dev—!”_

_“I know what an embryo is!” I cut him off, voice raised in alarm. “What do you mean that’s an embryo!” This time I gestured to where he pointed._

_“That is what it is,” he retorted, just as shocked as me. “You think I’m making this up?”_

_“That can’t be right! Check it again! It’s just a parasite, right? Just one of those smaller hollows that take on hosts, right? It has to be! There’s no way that I could be carrying some kind of **kid**!” I didn’t know what to think. My flurry of words came before I could organize myself. _

_“I’ve been over it several times, Kaiya. You sat here patiently while I even ran the tests a total of four times. What is there is undeniable, as impossible as it is,” he’d calmed himself much faster than I could. As the shock melted from his features, it was replaced by an intense fascination._

_“But how could that be?” I sighed, unable to grasp the situation._

_“Considering hollows, and arrancars by the same physics, are simply not built to bear children,” he was shrugging, “not to mention the incompatibility between you and your Shinigami partner,”_

_“How did you—!”_

_“This simply defies all logic and basic biology in the case of hollows. Even so, now that we both know what the situation is, I don’t see any harm in seeing if you can carry it to term. Of course, this is a rather dangerous environment and I am certain there are people who would prevent this,” Szayel didn’t say a name but one echoed in my mind. A very obvious danger._

_“So, what’s the plan then?” I asked gently._

_“I want to see you here every day so I can monitor and collect data on your budding offspring. You are free to tell who you wish about this, but I highly encourage against doing so. You have just become an excellent resource material and probably the only I will ever encounter. Your safety is now my highest concern in order for me to gather what I desire out of this.” In other words, I was his latest experimental toy._

_“Fine,” I sighed again. “I’ll keep it under wraps. I suppose I won’t tell the father, either. Not unless he is here in the lab with us. No one else will know.”_

_“On second thought,” Szayel was thinking aloud, “perhaps you should confide in someone you trust. Someone you know can and will protect you whether that is to actively fight to keep you safe, or to provide you with a means of hiding away. What do you think?”_

_“You’re probably right. If there is even the smallest chance of someone finding out, then I should have someone who can help me when I need it.”_

_“Good. Go on, then,” Szayel was shooing me away this time. With only a nod, I stood and left his laboratory._

_Although I knew I shouldn’t, and had just told Szayel I wouldn’t, I found myself searching for Gin._

“Ngh,” I groaned as I finally roused from my unconscious state. “Why did I…dream of that…?” Slowly, I pushed myself up so I sat. I was still on the floor, but in a different room. No one was around. After looking and not seeing my blades, I sighed. “I figured the warning would mean they’d give me a means of defending myself.” My complaint was only heard by me. _Idiot. It was so you would hesitate when trying to run._

Picking myself up off the floor, I tried to gain my bearings. The room I’d been stashed in was one I had yet to see. Not that there was anything of particular interest in it, though. It was just me, four walls, and a single door. The latter was adjacent to where I stood. Crossing the short distance, I reached out and tried to open it. Locked.

“Figured,” I scoffed. Slumping my back against it, I exhaled and looked at the floor. “A seal, huh?” My fingers gently slid over the part of my chest that my duplicate hogyoku had been placed. It was flush with my skin, but I could see the strange orb. “How could something like this be so powerful?”

_“The hogyoku can grant your desires by simply being near it,”_

I gasped.

“Is _that_ why?” My voice was so soft even I could barely hear it. “Is that why I recalled that?” Then, slowly, I was shaking my head. “No, it can’t be. It was a miracle, that’s all.” Resting my head against the door, I shifted my gaze to the ceiling. Again, I was running my fingers over the partially fused object within my chest.

I could not feel the immense power it held. Of course, that was Aizen’s doing. The small taste I had had when it was first plunged into my body was exhilarating. Even from a duplicate, that kind of power put me above so many. Even Aizen, if he hadn’t done the same thing to himself. _That’s it!_

Quickly, I righted myself and stepped away from the door. All I needed to do was break the seal. If I could accomplish that much, no one could keep me from escaping. _Break the seal._ Even so, I had no idea how I could accomplish that on my own. I did not have my blades to help me increase my capacity. The most I had were the few kido spells I knew. They wouldn’t be enough to push me to the level Aizen had set for me. Not that I knew what that level was.

_But maybe they can get me out._

“Hado four, Byakurai!” I called, pointing my fingers at the door. The bolt of light shot directly where I pointed and collided with the door. As it dissolved, I could see a visible scorch mark. “That’s what I like to see!” I grinned. “Byakurai!”

I struck the door several times. Each brought more damage to it, but it remained shut tight. My growing frustration fueled each Kido spell as I called it out. A sudden shift on the outside of the door caught my attention, but I brushed it off.

“Bya—!”

“Whoa, whoa!” I stopped my attack as the door swung open and Gin warned me aloud. “I was comin’ ta’ get ya’, relax!” I sneered but didn’t say anything. “Such a hothead~!” He laughed. “Ya’ can’t get out like that anyway.” With a snort, I rolled my eyes.

“What now?” I finally spoke. “Gonna’ make me fight more of his minions here? Gonna’ send me back to _Pink Boy_?” Gin was laughing again.

“So hostile! Back in Soul Society ya’ acted so different. Ya’ couldn’t be around me without havin’ some kinda’ breakdown! Ya’ remember? Now look’t ya’!”

Gin was wrong. I still felt the way I did when we were in the Seireitei. The way he grinned at me made my heart ache. But, considering my situation and everything I had gone through up to that point, my anger prevailed. Frustration clouded my impossible desires. It gave me new strength to rise above my feelings. When I didn’t answer, Gin shrugged.

“I was just gonna’ take ya’ for a walk is all,” he sighed. Slowly, I raised an eyebrow.

“A walk?” I asked.

“That’s right. Aizen said ya’ would probably still be reelin’ about the hogyoku so he made no plans today. I know ya’ so I figured ya’ wouldn’t want ta’ be locked up all day an’ all, so do ya’ wanna’ come?” He sounded so sincere it was appalling. I didn’t know if I could believe him knowing how much of a trickster he was. Gin caught me eyeing him warily. “It’s _just_ a walk,” he giggled. “I ain’t given’ ya’ those blades, and ya’ can’t run away from me, I promise that~!”

_He can’t be serious. This is a setup, isn’t it? Some kind of trap, right?_

“It’s that, or,” Gin stepped toward me, gesturing to the empty room and shrugging again, “ya’ stay here ‘till tomorrow.” Slowly, I clenched my fists at my sides. _I don’t want to stay here._ My silence must have indicated a _no_ to Gin because he turned around and walked out of the room. “Alright, bye then!” He called, waving. As the door began to close, an overwhelming panic took over me.

“Wait!” I called desperately. Instantly, the door stopped. It was only open halfway. “Wait,” I said again, softer this time. Gin peeked his head inside the doorway.

“Hmmm~?” He hummed.

“I’ll go,” I told him. A sudden wave of déjà vu sent me a flashback from when I was imprisoned in the Seireitei. I could only hope this time would be different. His grin widened as he swung the door back open.

“I thought so,” he chuckled. “Come on then,” he added, beckoning me. With a single glance behind me, I began to walk toward Gin. The empty room propelled me forward and out of it. The amount of freedom I felt as Gin closed the door behind us was strange considering I could not leave his company.

Then, as if it were completely natural, Gin and I strolled down the hall. Hesitantly, I followed him several paces behind. He looked ahead, but I could tell he was keeping a close watch over me. I held no thought of running; there was no way I could escape him. As I walked behind him, he eventually glanced back.

“Ya’ can walk beside me, ya’ know,” he offered. I hesitated. Watching him closely, I noticed him outstretch his arm slightly, as if gesturing for where I could walk. It was directly beside him. With a stifled sigh—and against my better judgment—I quickened my pace and fell into step with him.

 

 

We spent quite some time in complete silence save for our footfalls. I kept my eyes at my feet for a majority of the time. Gin led the way; each turn he made I followed. Even so, I didn’t care where we walked or where he was taking me. He noticed my posture and commented.

“Normally prisoners tend ta’ memorize routes. Ya’ can’t really do that if yer’ lookin’ at yer’ feet,” he said.

“There’s no point,” I blurted without thinking. He seemed taken aback by my statement.

“Why would’ja say that?” He asked.

_Because the halls can be changed at any time._

“Because I clearly can’t outrun you three. I mean, I was only hung up by that one guy for like two minutes before you showed up. What did you call him? Gungchow?” I shrugged. “So, there’s no point if I know where I’m going or not. You guys are just gonna catch me like you already have.”

Gin was quiet for several minutes. In my own mind I was desperately hoping I was convincing. _My stupid fucking mouth._ Internally, I cursed myself over and over again. Then I began to wonder how Chi would reprimand me. Her familiar glare alighted in my mind.

“Aah, I see,” he finally murmured. I visibly relaxed.

“I knew you’d understand,” I responded.

“It’s not that,” he immediately returned. Again, my shoulders tensed back up. “I see something about ya’!” He elaborated. Then, he turned his grin to me as we walked. “Ya’ sure got lots better at lyin’~! But not enough ta’ fool me,” chills ran down my spine. _How can he see through me so easily?_

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tried. He simply shook his head.

“First, ya’ can’t hide the recognition in yer’ eyes and face whenever ya’ come across a face here,” he began to explain. “Those eyes’a yers’ lit up like fire when you saw our friend Szayel! And they were the same I saw when ya’ were squarin’ off with _Grimmjow_ ,” he emphasized his correction even though he knew well enough that I already knew the correct way. Each word made my blood run colder and colder.

“An’ now,” he went on, “I called ya’ out an’ it’s got ya’ all scared! Just look’t yer’ face!” Gin was laughing again. My fingers trembled at my sides. _He’s playing me!_ As I was stuck in my mind panicking, Gin gave my shoulder a playful shove. I blinked and looked at him. He laughed again. _No, wait. He’s **teasing**_ _me._ “Lighten up,” he finally said after some time. “I don’t really care if ya’ have secrets, everyone does!”

I had not felt such relief since before my own death. He could see how much weight was lifted from me and laughed again.

“Y-you mean that?” I stammered, dumbfounded. Gin only nodded.

“Only Aizen cares about that. Oh, Szayel too,” he explained. A shaky sigh fled my lungs as I stopped in the middle of the hallway. Slowly, I hunched over myself, squeezing my eyes shut and silently rejoicing in the news I had no idea whether or not was the truth. All the same, it made me unbelievably happy. “Ya’ okay?”

“I’m…great,” I sighed blissfully as I righted myself. Then, we were walking again.


	19. Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a long time, feels bad man   
> It's not like I don't have content, I just want to stay ahead, sorry lmao  
> Enjoy

I didn’t want the day to end. My anger had melted so quickly while walking with Gin and it was a wonderful feeling. Not only that, but my heartache didn’t rise up. Instead, I was overcome with an amazing sense of nostalgia. It certainly wasn’t the first walk I had had with him. It was pulling forward memories I thought I had long forgotten.

We chatted casually the entire time. The fear I had felt in the Seireitei melted away too. It was as if he had become my Gin all over again. At one point, we had found seats to take a break. I didn’t look at him as we rested, but I could feel his eyes on me. A burning urge flared in my chest to move closer to him. It took a lot of subtle effort to tamp down my desires.

After all that time, I still wanted to feel his lips against my own like I used to. I wanted to be his lover again. Before I could do anything stupid, I clasped my hands together tightly. Glancing at him for only a moment, I saw his head tilt. Then, I had another idea.

“Gin, I…” I started gently. Then, thinking against my idea, I stayed silent.

“Ya’ what?” He asked. Slowly, I was shaking my head.

“It’s nothing, never mind,” I whispered. Again, he tilted his head. Truthfully, I wanted to confide in him. I wanted him to know everything, as stupid as it sounded. The reason was because he had done the same for me long before my death. Before our son. Desperately, I wanted to tell him. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

_I still don’t fully trust him._

“It’s time to head back,” he announced. Suddenly saddened, I lowered my head and nodded. “Maybe we can do this again sometime~?” He offered. Again, I was nodding.

“Thanks,” I said.

The walk back to the empty room was silent. I did not walk beside him. My emotions were conflicting, and I could not allow myself another slip up of any kind. Gin said he didn’t care about my secrets, but I couldn’t take that at face value. Not in my situation. Especially after each comment on how terrible a liar I was. Clearly Gin knew how to lie well enough to chime in every time I tried.

When we reached the room, I walked in alone. Without a word, he waved and locked me inside. With a sigh, I sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. _I almost told him._ It could have been my downfall if I had. That is, if he even believed it.

“I need to be more careful,” I breathed. Resting my head against the wall, I closed my eyes. Gently, my palms were against my stomach. The firm flatness was not a new feeling and it seemed as though I was forgetting what the warmth felt like. What the budding life felt like against my fingertips. I didn’t want to shed any more tears about it, though.

For some time, I was alone in silence. My eyes remained closed. I found entertainment in the distant memories it took effort to call back. The sound of the door lock unlatching brought unwelcome discomfort. There were only four people it could possibly be. One of which I had already spent the day with.

The door opened.

“What now,” I barked, keeping my eyes closed. No response. Peeking open the eye closest to the door, I was surprised to see Tousen. Even so, it only meant he was there to gather me for Aizen. I scowled. “I’m not going.”

“On your feet, Kaiya Tsuki,” came his command.

“No,” I refused, shaking my head.

“Please refrain from acting like a child.” I almost felt bad for him. He was only doing his duty to his leader. But it was his poor choice in leadership, of course.

“What does he fucking want this time!” I snarled, baring my teeth.

“I didn’t ask,” he simply responded. His dutiful air didn’t falter. To me, Tousen seemed the most innocent. He was only doing what he thought was right and just. Even if I knew it wasn’t, it still was not fair to treat him the same way I did the others. Not that I knew him all that well to begin with. Still, I felt the same: I did what I thought was right.

With a growl of frustration rumbling deep within my chest, I slowly brought myself to my feet. I faced him as I glared. Then, I crossed my arms and didn’t move an inch from where I stood.

“You gonna’ make me?” I asked, malice dripping from my words. In an instant, he appeared behind me. _His shunpo is so fast!_

“If I must,” he told me nonchalantly. Before I could turn and brace myself against him, he called out a kido spell. “Bakudo one, Sai.” Against my will, my arms were locked in place at my back. The spell was small and with a bit of time I could break free of it. But I wasn’t given the chance. Instead, Tousen took a firm grip of my upper arm and pulled me from the room. I was dragged all the way into the dreaded room of tower five.

Tousen stayed outside the open doorway and shoved me inside. Before I could turn and make a run for it, the door was shut, and I was trapped. The familiar greeting rang in my ears from across the room. I clenched my jaw. Without having to look I could already see his grinning face.

“I trust you’ve been well?” Aizen continued, seated across the room from where I stood. I glared daggers.

“Of course not,” I snarled. In my mind I imagined the satisfaction of removing his limbs one by one. It was slow and methodical; a perfect torture.

“A shame. I have offered means for you to be comfortable, you know,” he wore a smug grin.

“In exchange for my total and complete humiliation!” I spat in outrage. “Why the hell would I comply to your demands! For what, a bed? For meals? None of that is worth following you!”

“Would you rather I revoke all of your privileges?” His question was meant to stun me. I wasn’t fazed.

“Fine, go ahead! It’ll only make me more disobedient!” I roared my disdain. His smirk deepened, as though I were amusing him. As we spoke, I was at work trying to free my arms.

“Then perhaps I should use Kyouka Suigetsu on you,” he pondered. “It worked magnificently when I was trying to provoke you before. You have a deep seeded fear of Szayelaporro. That’s only natural, of course.” My rage burned within my chest. It was sad; I finally had a time to relax and I was right back where I was almost instantly.

“Fuck off with your stupid hypnosis,” I responded.

“I could create any scenario you please,” he continued, disregarding my hostility. “I could become _any_ person you desire.” His words made me feel sick. He was insinuating something I wanted no part of. _Not again._

“No,” my voice was firm. “I want nothing from you, and I will do nothing for you of my own will!”

“A shame, truly,” he remarked, sounding almost dissatisfied. Aizen eyed me before standing. “I had hoped I could convince you into submission, at least once. But that must be impossible.” Each step he took toward me only made my fear and anger spike higher. “It seems I have no other choice than to once again take you by force,” his voice sounded disappointed. So easily, he already had me backed into a corner. “But before that,” he continued, “I’d like to ask you once again,” Aizen paused, watching me closely, “who _are_ you?”

Despite how cornered I felt, and what I knew awaited me, I stood firm and proud. I even looked Aizen in the eyes as I spoke.

“I am Kaiya Tsuki, proud Lieutenant of Third Company in the Thirteen Court Guard companies. I grew up in the Rukongai with my brother Renji! I have always been me! And I will not bow to you!” Like before, I was given his look of disapproval and dissatisfaction.

And just like that, I was seized and carted to none other than his bedroom.

“No!” I cried out at the sight of it. “Not again!” My arms were still pinned because of Tousen. Quickly, I tried to break free of it. I gathered as much reiatsu as I could muster in a short burst before letting out a roar and pulling my arms away from each other and my back. The seal around my arms snapped free and I tried to shove myself from Aizen. When that didn’t work, I aimed my palm at his face. “Hado thirty-one, Shakkaho!”

With speed that put my own to shame, he clasped my hand tightly and stopped my attack. The next thing I knew, air rushed by and my back was slammed against a nearby wall. The force smashed my head against it in the same motion. Stars danced in my vision. I groaned.

“Must I restrain you again?” The amusement in his voice told me my struggles were and would continue to be fruitless. Still, I wasn’t about to give up.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I warned; voice raised. Ignoring me, Aizen began to lift me off my feet. “Stop!” Swinging my leg, I aimed a kick to his stomach. I was too slow. Aizen caught my leg in his free hand—his other kept me firm against the wall—and curled it around his own hip. “No! I refuse!!” My outrage didn’t stop him.

My strength began to fade as I noticed the air growing excruciatingly thicker. It wasn’t immediate, but a gradual rise. Soon, my breathing was labored, and I could no longer struggle against him. Sweat slid down my face as I fought against the overwhelming reiatsu. It was as though he were teasing me with his torture. I gripped the front of his clothing tightly in my fists as I tried to overcome the sheer power.

“You…b-bastard—!”I managed to choke out as it increased more. Then, immediately, the weight was gone, and I was gasping. His smug grin was still plastered across his face.

“I have one last offer I can make to you,” he said, watching me closely. “You keep acting up and I’ll take you _as well as_ send you back to Szayelaporro’s laboratory,” at that, I tensed up. Flashbacks of the merciless beatings, having my shihakusho literally torn to shreds, and Szayel himself and his incredible disdain for me flashed through my mind. Not to mention the fact that he was the only one with potential to learn my secrets in all of Hueco Mundo. “Or,” he continued, “you give yourself to me _without_ the need to restrain you and I guarantee you a proper bedroom as well as freedom from his care for an entire week,”

His offer wasn’t much in light of things. But it wasn’t the offer that had my mind turning. It was my own idea. Aizen was trying to buy me with his “perks” and I knew I could use that to my advantage. All I would have to do was play a little nicer. _Maybe I can take whatever I want like this._ To me, it seemed like a doable idea. I could only wonder what my girls would say.

“Well?” He asked as I remained silent, my head down. Then, I lifted my head. My glare burned deep into his eyes.

“Make it two weeks. And I want freedom to go wherever I want,” my demands were clear. It seemed his amusement increased.

“I suppose I can allow that,” he responded with a grin. For a few more moments, I stayed in my thoughts. I wanted to be absolutely sure about the decision I was making.

“Fine, I accept,” I growled to show him I still wasn’t happy about it.

_It’s just sex, right?_

 

 

***

 

 

Somehow Kaiya Tsuki still proved herself to be more and more interesting. Especially to Aizen. Although he didn’t particularly care for her defiance and headstrong attitude, he knew there was no way around it. Aizen was able to accurately predict her reaction to having the duplicate hogyoku embedded in her body. Though, the effects of the partial fusion were less than he thought.

_Perhaps it was just her._

The girl seemed to have a quick and efficient recovery. Without the healing from her ability, too. She had woken rather early after something of that nature. Almost immediately she had been on her feet and ready to break free of the room she had been held in. Not that she could have, of course.

It was Gin who ended up letting her out. It was a small matter. Nothing to interfere with or fret about. Gin was free to go about as he pleased. That included toying with whomever he wished. Aizen’s newest subject was no exception to that so long as she remained intact and readily available for whatever Aizen had in mind.

Aizen had figured he was learning enough about the girl to make her behavior and decisions more predictable. Yet, she had more surprises it seemed. When Gin had freed her, Aizen expected weakness to appear. He also thought she would make another attempt in fleeing. But neither had occurred. The exchange that lasted nearly the entire day seemed as though it was nothing more than quality time among close friends. Alas, Aizen knew better.

What’s more was another astonishing reaction from Kaiya. Aizen was met with the typical disdain and sour attitude when Tousen fetched her. It was all she had ever expressed. He was more than prepared to deal with her. Especially with what he had in mind for the night hours. She could be handled.

Still, Aizen wanted something more. He made a point in leaving her with open offers. Of course, it was refusal he had expected for the newest offer. When he had given it, she stayed quiet for several moments. It was the first she had ever seemed to consider anything he offered. Though, her disgusted expression was not promising. It may have been his threat that yielded such a reaction.

Astonishingly, she had _accepted._

It was after making her own demands, of course, but it was nothing more than he was willing to give. A small price to pay for what he wanted from her. A mere fourteen days of freedom was all she asked. That, and free roam. Not that Aizen would allow her to go alone. It would be interesting to see her reaction when he required an escort. 

 

 

 

Her usually bright eyes had faded when it escalated. Aizen expected as much. The girl was full of pride and agreeing to what she had likely damaged it greatly. It only made sense for her to slip away in her mind during their actions. Still, as before, there was no denying the pleasure she was engulfed in.

Whatever previous lover or lovers she had had were simply not the same. Though she tried to stifle them, and her distant expression was hard and full of anger, her cries still told Aizen all he needed to hear. He could only wonder what it was that she fled to in her mind. Could it have been the secrets she still locked away so tightly? Or something different all together?

Once he had his fill, Aizen let her be. By that point, she was succumbing to exhaustion. No words were shared between them. He left her in the darkness as he went to go about his other business. It was certain that she was a fun toy and he was not yet finished with her.

 

 

***

 

 

“What the _hell_ was I thinking?!” I groaned. 

When I awoke, I found myself alone. I was less than satisfied and doubting my own plan. My body was still bare and only covered by a familiar blanket. Though, I did notice clothes set out for me. But, none of that mattered. After sitting up and expressing my dissatisfaction, I ran my fingers through my hair and growled at myself.

“I submitted for _that?!_ ” my frustration was obvious. I had hoped that because the bastard was so adamant about me giving myself to him that something would be amazing about what we’d done. Groaning again, I lowered my head. _Man am I stupid!_

_I swear that the time before was great! Or, maybe it wasn’t? After all, I was frustrated and exhausted and I was subconsciously begging for that release. This time, it wasn’t like that. And he wasn’t like I thought._

“Damn that Aizen,” I sighed. Then, I rubbed my face. The only reason I had ended up tired afterward was because he had been suffocating me with his reiatsu. _Fucker._ It was likely that he had an obsession with submission and that truthfully wasn’t me.

_It was fine, sure. I still got off. But…_ I sighed, lost in my thoughts. _But I really wanted something world shattering before I have to go back to this bullshit._

Slowly, I climbed out of the bed. The clothes I began to dress in were simple. I was half expecting to be dressed up in another of the floral yukatas. _I guess Aizen couldn’t be bothered this time._ Subconsciously, I was looking for my zanpakuto. Truthfully, I missed them dearly; scolding and all. As I rubbed my head, images from the night resurfaced.

_Following my agreement, Aizen didn’t waste any time. Before I knew it, clothes were on the floor. We were moving into business. I wanted something to take me away from it all. I was ready for it as his touch came all over._

“But I didn’t get it,” I scoffed, still frustrated. “No point in thinking about it,” was my decision as I cut off the memories. _I didn’t get what I wanted so I’m going to pretend it never happened._

Stretching my arms high above my head, I looked to the door. All signs pointed to the extreme likelihood of it being locked. Still, there was no harm in trying. After walking to it, I placed my hand against the cool surface. Then, turned.

The door swung open to my surprise. It took little effort and I stepped outside of the room. Ready to make a run for it as I always had, my muscles tensed, and I faced the nearest hall. Right as I was about to take off, Tousen appeared. I was stopped in my tracks. He didn’t speak, only gestured the opposite way I intended to go. With a growl of dissatisfaction, I turned on my heel and marched. Obviously, I was headed toward another summons from Aizen.

_He better keep up his part of the deal._


	20. Twenty

“You have fourteen days,” Aizen said without a greeting as I walked into the room in tower five. When I didn’t respond, he continued: “per our agreement. You have fourteen days of free roam around the palace. I’ll grant you _one_ of your zanpakuto to defend yourself—,”

“You can’t do that!” I cut in. “It doesn’t work like that; they go hand in hand!”

“Would you prefer none at all? Try your hand at defending yourself with your lacking arsenal of kido?” His tone shifted only slightly to express his very mild irritation at being interrupted. Growling, I shut my mouth and looked at the floor. “As I was saying, you’ll have one of your choosing to defend yourself. I suggest you do your best to avoid conflicts with the arrancar. Do remember my warning as well.”

“Is that it?” I tried my best not to snarl.

“Yes. I’d like to see you back here first thing in the morning on the fifteenth day. Tousen will give you your chosen zanpakuto and you may be on your way,” he said, gesturing to where his subordinate held my blades. My choice was obvious. Tamashi could help come up with a plan, but it was Chi who was stronger in battle. Her healing capabilities would also be an added bonus if I needed it. Although, her healing capabilities would be reduced to less than half without her sister. Not that I would tell anyone that secret.

My left hand closed around the red handle. Then, without a word, I turned and made my way to the door. As I walked out, Aizen spoke up again.

“Enjoy your short freedom,” he said. I snarled as I fled. With no time to waste, I put as much distance between tower five and myself as I could. The whole way I was desperately hoping I didn’t run into anybody.

When I decided I was far enough, I skidded to a halt and looked around. The first door I spotted I flung open and disappeared inside. It was dark, but I didn’t mind. No way was I going to stay in the open. After catching my breath, I found the nearest wall and sat so I leaned against it. Then, laying my blade over my lap, I tried to relax.

“Chi, come out,” I requested quietly. Slowly, she emerged and sat adjacent to me. Her expression was relaxed but I knew she was anxious to be on her own. They were always that way when separated. “I’m sorry,” I sighed.

_No. What you did was clever. I was surprised to find out you managed to swallow your pride for this._

“But now I only have you, I can’t just leave like I intended!” My frustration was clear. “I can’t just leave Tamashi behind!”

_You’re right. We will come up with something. You got us two weeks. That’s plenty of time._

“Yeah,” I sighed again. “Still, it would be easier if the two of you were together. Then we could really have a plan to leave here. After that we would figure out what to do, right?”

_I am still able to communicate with Tamashi. Though it is rather difficult._

“Tell her I’m sorry,” I offered, lowering my head. Chi scooted herself forward and rested her head gently atop my lap.

_She knows, Kaiya._

Smiling softly, I placed my hand on her head between her ears. She closed her eye and we shared a moment of quiet. It was soothing. The aura of her flames was warm around us. When I felt I was ready, I spoke up again.

“Tell me what you think we should do. Let’s talk this out before we try and communicate with her, okay? Especially if it’s going to be difficult,” I decided. She huffed her agreement and kept her eye closed. “If we could get out of the palace, maybe we could hide out in Hueco Mundo until we find a hollow we can follow back to the world of the living? Because I can’t open the garganta by myself now that I’m a Shinigami.”

_I suppose that would be okay as a starting point. It does not seem very practical, however. There are many hollows that want your power. I can feel that object pulsing in your chest. The seal keeps you from feeling it, but it is extremely powerful. It wants to connect with you. I do not think it will take much to break that seal after all._

_“_ Could you help me?” I asked suddenly.

_No, I don’t think that would be a good idea just yet. Aizen may revoke your freedom. Remember you are his current subject of study. He went to the length of creating a new hogyoku just for this purpose._

“I felt it, you know,” I breathed, resting my fingers over where it lay in my chest. “It was only for the slightest moment, but I felt it.” Then I was resting my head against the wall. “It was amazing and completely terrifying at the same time. I could feel how much it wanted to grant my desires.”

_That is truly a frightening power._

“He’s gonna’ use me as one of his weapons against Soul Society, isn’t he?” I asked, my suspicions high.

_I wouldn’t doubt it. I’m sorry._

“How do we get out of this?” The desperation in my tone was surprising even to me. “I know I can’t expect to return there, but if there was some way I could warn them about his bigger plans…” I trailed off as I closed my eyes. Chi gave my arm a gentle lick.

 “Sitting here moping isn’t going to help, though,” I finally said, after a long silence.

_What do you propose we do?_

“First we find the way out. I can’t guarantee the way will stay the same, but there must be a way. According to Aizen, the hollows here in this palace want the power of this stupid thing,” I tapped the hogyoku for emphasis, “so we’ll probably have a fight at some point. Up for it?”

_Always!_

Her response was an excited snarl and she stood. It made me chuckle. Following her lead, I stood as well. With a final pat on her head, the flaming wolf returned to her blade. Then, I hooked it into my pants and carefully opened the door to the room I had hidden in. The coast was clear.

And just like that, I was off again

 

 

***

 

 

Four days passed.

The palace was much bigger than I thought. Or could remember, at least. I wasn’t making much progress in finding an exit. It didn’t help that following the nights I would fall asleep in an empty corridor; I awoke in a bed not far off from tower five. It had happened three times. Each time, I would have to start my search all over again.

_The halls can move, and I know they’re being moved deliberately._ It seemed as though I was going to have to stay awake until I reached the exit. _If only I could remember where we had entered before_. It was the time I was practically dragged kicking and screaming into the palace. That seemed like as good an exit as any.

“Come on,” I huffed aloud as another door lead to nowhere but another empty room. _Maybe I’m not looking in the right places?_ Not that I was able to tell easily, but it didn’t seem like I ever traveled very far from the throne room. Not since the first day, that is.

Although I was worried about being in a blind spot, I decided that was the best thing to do. Without wasting any time, I launched myself as far from the throne room as I could manage with my flash step. I knew it was dangerous, especially with only half protection, but it was as good a shot as any to leaving. Even so, everything still looked the same. I was back to flinging open doors and crossing my fingers. It felt as though I was so far I may not remember the way back. But that didn’t matter.

I was almost certain that as soon as I was asleep, I would awake to find myself in the same bed.

 

 

“Still no luck,” I sighed after several hours had passed. I roamed with slumped shoulders. Two weeks should have been plenty of time, but I was already down half a week. Practically no progress made. In fact, I was beginning to consider blasting through walls with kido spells. It was a stupid idea to consider, but it crossed my mind anyway.

“If I did that I could definitely get out,” I thought aloud, “and then find a place to hide before I make another plan. Maybe a plan to get Tamashi back and warn the Soul Society! I’ll take whatever they have in store for me—probably a death sentence—just as long as I ca—?”

I stopped in my tracks. I’d already walked past it; I began to step back. Turning my head, I faced a stairway to my left. It was the first I had seen any aside from the short flight that lead to the meeting room and those of tower five. This was not a tower, though. It couldn’t have been, I was far from the cluster of them. But there it was, a long stairway, leading up in a large curve. I could not see far ahead because it was darkened as the stairs curved away from me. _What could be up there?_

Before I knew it, I was climbing the stairs. The higher I climbed, the more uneasy I felt. It was almost damaging to think I felt more comfortable the closer I was to those three. But I was far from them then. Though, truthfully, I didn’t know why my fear was growing. I knew about the arrancars, at least a little bit. Even if I couldn’t win as I was, I wouldn’t back down. Besides, I could run as far as I needed to.

The stairway was longer than I expected. It didn’t end at an opening to another hall, though. It was another door. Preparing for disappointment, I exhaled. Then, I pushed open the door.

Bright light spilled into the dark ended passageway where I stood. But this was not the normal fluorescent light that filled the halls behind me. It looked natural, as if cast by the sun. I was aghast as I stepped through the doorway. A bright blue sky was alight overhead. There was no sun in sight, but it was like a normal sunny day; such as those in the world of humans. As I turned around, eyes still in the sky, I noticed from my periphery that I had emerged from a red tower into the light.

I was standing on a walkway high above the sandy ground below. Out in the distance were more of the red pillars; scattered about. The blue sky seemed to stretch on as far as I could see. _But how is this possible? Hueco Mundo is nothing but eternal night! I could see the moon from the room I was kept in!_ Still, the light was undeniable. _I don’t remember this._

As I was about to voice my surprise, a sudden presence shifted my shock to caution. In a single moment, my blade was drawn, and I stood defensively. Emerging from the same place I had was an espada. There was something about the ten of them that made them so easily recognizable. But I knew nothing more than he was an espada, and beneath his odd mask was a tank with two heads inside. I couldn’t even recall a name. Carefully, I watched as he approached.

“Stupid Shinigami woman,” droned a baritone voice. It was followed by a shrill counterpart: “I have no interest in you.”

“I didn’t ask if you did,” I spat, still keeping myself on high alert. No way was I going down just yet. Thankfully, sticking to what he had said, he kept walking.

“Better not make me mad,” it was the high voice again, then the low, “I’ll make a quick meal of you.” With a growl, I gripped my sword tighter.

“Don’t threaten me if I am truly no interest,” I scoffed.

“Go on back to your master,” baritone instructed, disinterest evident. His word choice stung.

“He’s _not_ my master,” I huffed, irritation growing. Now at the end of the walkway and standing at another doorway, the unnamed espada turned toward me.

“Leave my palace,” shrieked the higher voice. Then, he faced the doorway and disappeared inside. Slowly, I exhaled. It was odd that he showed very little hostility toward me. We were longtime enemies, after all; Shinigami and hollow.

_Maybe Aizen issued an order against harming you outright._

“What?” I asked aloud, shocked by Chi’s sudden inference. “Why would he do that?”

_Think about it. He went to the trouble of making a new hogyoku just to test it on you. If you’re his current subject of study, wouldn’t he want you intact? After all, he has been helping you gain strength and specifically required you to be strong enough to break the seal of the hogyoku before you could use its power. And what reason would he do all of this in the first place? I think it’s so he can do it himself._

“If that’s true, then why warn me? Why allow me even one of you?” I pressed.

_I can come up with two reasons: first to keep you in line with a nice dose of fear and caution. Second, because not everyone follows the rules. Aizen knows you’re plenty capable of defending yourself even with just me. At least able enough to buy him or one of the other two time to get you. Make sense?_

“…Yeah,” I finally breathed after a short silence. “Yeah, it does. I should have known, I’m still just some stupid pawn,” my breathing had shifted to a frustrated growl. “Which means my ‘freedom’ probably has other unknown strings attached. Still, I’m going to get out of here one way or another.”

With that, I stepped onto the low ledge of the walkway. It wasn’t more than two or three feet high. But, the plummet below that was considerably longer. To a soul that could not control their reiatsu, the fall would be fatal. But I was no one like that. Not another thought passed through my mind as I jumped toward the sandy ground below.

The air rushing passed me and whipping my hair around felt nice. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to enjoy it. Before I could touch the ground, I controlled my reiatsu at my feet and descended the last few feet as if there were invisible stairs. My booted feet sank just slightly into the sand. High above my head was the walkway I had stood on mere moments ago. I didn’t look back. Instead, I ran off in a straight path.

_I never left, so I must still be inside. I don’t remember this at all but Aizen must have somehow created false sunlight here in Las Noches. It’s a dome, if I keep going, I’ll have to reach a wall at some point. Then, I don’t care anymore, I’ll just blast a hole into it and keep running._

 

Despite having vague memories about the gargantuan size of the palace, I was surprised again and again by it. There was no way to tell how long I was traveling for, but by the time I _finally_ reached a wall, I was exhausted. Still, it was relieving to know I was right. Reaching out, I grazed my fingers against the smooth, slate colored surface of it. Then, I looked up and saw that far overhead, the wall curved in the dome shape. _Here’s to hoping the eternal night rests behind this wall._

My arm was extended fully; palm flat against the wall. Exhaling, I braced myself with a wider stance. Then, I glared my determination and mustered as much of my power as I could. For added effect, I decided to recite the incantation for the kido spell I chose.

“O Lord, mask of flesh and bone, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of man, truth and temperance, upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws! Hado thirty-three, Sokatsui!”

Needing not even a moment to react, the blue blast of fire shot from my palm and against the wall. As a result, it exploded violently. My hand and wrist were burned in the process, but that pain was easy to bear. As the explosion rippled away, I saw large cracks in the wall and grinned. As the dust settled and the smoke ebbed, a large hole was revealed. It was plenty big enough to escape through. But the wall was so thick, I couldn’t tell what was on the other side.

“Let’s go,” I said urgently as I jumped into the gaping hole. My right foot touched down on the rubble. In the same moment, I launched myself forward and rocketed through the thick wall. Thankfully, the other side was encased in the darkness of night. My feet once again sank into sand. I couldn’t help the ecstatic laughter that came as I looked up at the moon.

My laughter and joy were snapped brutally away by the sudden sensation of a hand clasped onto my shoulder.

“Aw, if ya’ wanted ta’ leave the palace, ya’ could’a just asked!” My throat ran dry at the undeniable sound of the voice. “Ya’ went an’ broke the wall, how naughty~!” Slowly swallowing, I felt my hands clench into fists.

“Why,” I hissed, voice low. Gin’s hand was still on my shoulder. It was there as if we were old friends who had only recently come together to catch up. For some reason, it seemed to burn.

“Why what?” he asked, leaning closer to me. I lowered my head as I ground my teeth in my frustration. A short spout of silence fell between us.

“Why are you _here_?” I finally said through my teeth. By that point I had squeezed my eyes shut. Somehow, I already knew the answer.

“Oh! Captain Aizen asked me ta’ be yer’ escort if ya’ wanted to venture out here,” Gin explained, as if I was told. My fists shook at my sides as I clenched them tighter. “But, really, ya’ should’a just asked instead’a makin’ a big hole like that!”

“An es _cort?!_ ” on the second syllable, my voice jumped an entire octave.

“Uh-huh,” chuckled Gin, “Captain Aizen required it for ya’ if yer’ anywhere outside the palace. So, where do ya’ wanna go?” He asked me, as if it were nothing. Gin acted as though nothing were wrong. There was no doubt that they knew I was trying my damnedest to escape, and yet, Gin spoke like he was some kind of guide leading me on an adventure. I shook his hand off my shoulder and chose not to speak.

Instead, I began to march angrily away from Las Noches. Each step was stomped into the sandy ground and resulted with a small plume of dust each time. Gin made a sound of surprise before eagerly following behind me. I tried my best to ignore him. _So what if I have an escort? I **will** get out of this damn place!_

“Why don’t I take ya’ ta’ the Menos Forest? Tousen created a neat little walkway! He uses that ta’ monitor ‘em, cool right? It’s this way,” Gin offered. It only managed to infuriate me more. Flipping around on my heel, I turned my fiery glare at him.

“Are you insane?!” I cried in outrage. Gin visibly flinched, but his grin did not falter. “You don’t see _anything_ wrong with this?! Just following orders like a good dog, huh! You, you’re just—just a psychopath! Which is so strange because back then you, you—! You…” I trailed off. During my rant, I had raised my fists. Slowly, I lowered them, and my eyes found the sand again.

“I what?” My outburst seemed to pique Gin’s interest. “Back when? Back when, I what?” he pressed when I stayed silent.  I only shook my head.

“You wouldn’t understand. _Couldn’t_ understand,” I whispered to the ground. Gin took a few steps toward me.

“Try me,” he said. His voice had softened some.

_Careful._

For the most part, I heeded Chi’s warning. Several more moments of silence fell between us. Feelings I had felt back in the Soul Society began to resurface. I wanted _my_ Gin. I wanted his comforting arms around me because I was upset. I felt like nothing more than a cornered rat and I desperately wanted the warmth and familiarity. But this Gin’s arms remained at his sides as he watched me.

“You’re not here for this,” I said, voice nearly silent. Then, raising my head, I continued: “Take me to the Menos Forest.”

I couldn’t tell if he had heard my first comment. If he had, he didn’t show it. Gin didn’t spare a word for me, either; he raised his arm to show the direction we needed to walk. Before long, we were standing on the walkway he told me about. Still, no words passed between us. I chose to watch the Gillian in silence. At some point, I tried to recall my life during the time I walked as one of the giant hollows, but it was impossible. I could hardly remember my arrancar life, let alone anything before that.

Without knowing how much time had passed during the entire encounter, Gin suggested it was time to head back. Surprisingly, I did not protest. In the same silence, we returned to Las Noches. Gin lead me to the room I had continually awoken in. And, without a word—or even a passing glance—he walked away. I was almost disappointed, until I caught the end of a casual wave of his hand in the corner of my eye.

I finished the lengthy amount of time I spent away from that room by sliding against the door until I sat. I fell asleep there, in that position.


	21. Twenty-One

Nearly all of the rest of my freedom was spent that way. I was either blindly and restlessly roaming the halls of the palace or roaming outside the confines with Gin as my escort. Once or twice I had tried to flee from him. I was sticking to my original plan of hitching a ride to the World of the Living with a hollow. Neither time did I manage to make it out of his sight. I was thoroughly defeated and running out of time. _Only three days left_.

Again, I found myself walking aimlessly. Slate colored walls surrounded me, and I’d long lost my way. Not that it mattered; the moment I was asleep I would be whisked away to that bedroom. Being lost in the massive place was no problem. During all that time, I’d somehow even managed to avoid unnecessary encounters with the arrancar. Some of them were _very_ narrowly avoided. I was about to give up and sit in the hall I was currently walking through when Chi alerted me.

_I managed to contact Tamashi._

“You did?” I gasped, immediate hope alighting in my veins. It was the first sign of something good since I was granted my temporary freedom. In excitement, I entered a room and sat with her blade in my lap. Like before, she emerged.

_We talked for a short time. It was difficult. But we did come up with a plan. It isn’t much, and it has a high chance of failure, but it’s probably worth a shot. It’s this or accepting whatever Aizen has in store for you next._

“I’ll do anything! Just tell me!” My voice was desperate. I had to leave, I had to flee. I needed to.

_We need to get to the world of the living. No tricks like using a hollow. We need to ask permission. That is probably the only way to make it. Gin said so himself, it should apply for leaving Hueco Mundo as well. There is one person that may be able to help. That is, if you can find him._

“There’s no way,” I breathed, running my fingers through my hair. “There is no way Aizen would let me go to the World of the Living.” It seemed idiotic to ask for something like that. “And even if he did allow it, you think he would let me go alone? Of course not!”

_We discussed that too. You only need to incapacitate whomever is assigned as an escort. It’ll likely be Gin. Use the strongest binding spell you are capable. Put distance between him and yourself. Then find a way to find the only one who can help you now._

“And that’s assuming I even make it there in the first place,” I reiterated. Chi was right, the plan seemed nearly hopeless. But she was also right that all I could do was try. “Alright, I’ll go. I’ll ask him.”

_Good. Depending on his response, we will go from there. I may have an idea to find the person we need. But first, we need to leave Hueco Mundo._

“Right,” I agreed. Chi returned to her home. Then, I began moving as quickly as I could to find a familiar hall. Letting myself come up lost was probably a bad idea in the long run. Still, there were areas I had gone through over and over again. If I could find one of those, I was certain I would be able to reach the throne room.

 

 

And I did, after quite some time. I was under the impression it was not only my own doing, however. After opening the doors, I entered and strode into the light. Aizen sat with a smug grin atop the high wall. On his throne, an elbow rested in its designated rest. His hand was curled and rested against his cheek. It seemed like he was expecting me. _I knew I didn’t get here by myself_.

“I assume you have business with me. Or have you returned to go outside again?” Aizen assumed. Slowly, I shook my head.

“I have a different request in mind,” I admitted.

“Oh?” he asked, intrigued. “Do tell.”

“I only have about two days left now, not counting today. So, I’d like to go to the World of the Living, just once. I… I like it there. And here I can only assume that once you’re finished with me, I’ll be thrown to the dogs. I’d like to go somewhere I like, just this one last time, before that happens,” I explained. Although I meant for it to be an act, I was surprised at just how much truth was behind it. With each word I spoke, Aizen’s visible amusement grew.

“You must understand why I feel skeptical,” he started, eyeing me.

“I figured,” I returned, nodding. “But I decided it would be better to ask anyway.”

“What do you propose happens if I grant your request?” He asked, sitting up. I didn’t change my posture.

“I spend twenty-four hours in the World of the Living. I’ll see what I have deemed my favorite sights, while remaining in a general area. You can send an escort like you have been. Once the twenty-four hours are up, I will return here with my escort. A harmless exchange,” My voice was even and steady. I played like I meant every word.

“And my refusal?”

“Easy,” I said, “I stay here and finish my last days of our previous agreement. I’ll return here first thing on the fifteenth day and everything returns to how you want.”

“You understand I have no reason to grant this request, correct?” Aizen asked me.

“Of course. Again, I decided to ask anyway,” my resolve was fading, but I refused to show it. I would not allow him to wear me down before I had my answer. Surprisingly, his grin deepened.

“I’ve decided,” he declared. _That was quick._ Silently, I prepared for him to tell me I was to remain in Hueco Mundo. “You may go.”

I gawked at him. It was all I could manage to do.

“You may go,” he repeated. “With an escort of course. Twenty-four hours and not a minute more. Do you have a request for who will accompany you?” Realizing he had asked me something, I snapped myself from my shock.

“Gin?” I offered, shrugging.

“Can’t~!” Gin cooed without missing a beat. He gave a shrug himself.

“Wha—?”

“That won’t do. Gin is unable to open the way, only hollows are able,” Aizen interrupted, answering my question before I could ask it. “Your escort would need to be an arrancar. Or have the abilities of a hollow, of course,” he explained. My stomach dropped.

“I-I don’t, um, I don’t know any,” I stammered. Aizen returned to his previous position, resting his cheek against his curled hand. Though, it seemed like he was leaning closer to me this time.

“Sure you do,” he mused, “there’s Szayelaporro of course. And the variety of arrancar you have battled, too.” My almost timid expression made his amusement grow stronger still. “In that case, would you like me to assign one myself?” I only managed a hesitant nod. Aizen returned it with a short nod of his own. “Tousen, summon dear number four,”

“Yes sir,” Tousen complied. _So far, so good. He’s called an espada, but I can’t remember which is fourth. Could it be the one I met at that walkway days ago?_

Shortly afterward, the main entryway opened.  Slowly, I turned to see who entered. Like the rest of the espada, it was a face that could not be forgotten. But, unlike the one I met on the walkway, I had a name to match. He had been at the top of my _Stay Away_ list when I learned of my pregnancy. His constant proximity and loyalty to Aizen made him one of the worst people who could possibly find out. I avoided him, back then, like my life depending on it.

_Ulquiorra._

_I should have known._ Turning back toward the throne, I held my tongue.

“Welcome, Ulquiorra,” Aizen greeted him as he stood near me. The stoic faced man responded with a nod. He spared no glance for me. “You will be accompanying our dear guest here to the World of the Living. I have granted her a day to spend there,” Aizen explained.

“I see,” Ulquiorra responded, “when are we departing?”

“You may leave when Miss Tsuki is ready,” Aizen turned his attention to me. “Have you any further requests?” As he asked, an idea struck.

“Just one more thing,” I started, “I don’t want any unnecessary attention from the Shinigami out there. I’d like something to conceal my identity, so I can move freely until my time is finished. Would that be okay?” Aizen sat back slightly as he thought it over. “It would make sense for the both of us to have it,” I added.

“Granted,” he finally said. “I would rather you not be spotted as well.” I nodded my understanding. “Gin, would you gather cloaks for them?” he requested.

“Right, right,” Gin giggled, amused with the entire exchange. He disappeared for several moments. The throne room was filled with silence until he returned with an armful of fabric. Of course, the hooded garments were white. I never thought I would miss the black color of my shihakusho so much.

“Thank you,” I said softly, not meeting Gin’s gaze as he handed me mine. Silent once more, I donned it, pulling the hood over my head. I noticed Ulquiorra doing the same from the corner of my eye. He still had yet to look in my direction. Not that I wanted him to.

_Kaiya, listen. Remember, the moment you set foot in the World of the Living, you need to use the strongest kido you have on this espada. Do that, then run. Find some way, **any** way to locate Kisuke Urahara. He is the only one who can help you right now. _

The name rang in my head like hundreds of bells. _He can help me?_ It didn’t seem likely at all. He had been exiled for many reasons. There couldn’t be a way that he could help. It seemed even less likely that I would be able to find him. But that was the plan my twins had come up with for me. I had to do my best for Tamashi’s sake, because she had to stay behind.

“I’m ready to go,” I announced after some time. I was met with a grin from Aizen.

“Then you may,” he agreed. Then, Aizen gestured to Ulquiorra who nodded. Then, with a flick of his wrist, the very air ripped open. It only took me a moment to realize the espada was waiting for me to take the lead. Exhaling, I stepped through the portal he had opened up.

 

 

The walk to the other side was short. It was my reiatsu we used as a walkway through the precipice world. We stopped before the wall that separated us from the world outside. That wall, like the previous one, ripped open too. When the opening was extended fully, I stepped forward and out. My booted feet landed against green grass. I didn’t have time to enjoy it, though.

My senses were trained on the espada behind me. He too had exited the entryway. The opening closed abruptly; disappearing like it had never been there to begin with. In order to ensure my escort had no idea of my real intentions, I began taking slow, casual steps forward. I looked up to the sky. Birds flew overhead. Then, under my breath, I began the incantation for the strongest binding spell I was capable of. Truthfully, I had only performed it successfully less than a handful of times.

“You who is crowned with the name of Man, wearing a mask of blood and flesh, flying on ten thousand fluttering wings, with thunder’s carriage and an empty spinning wheel, break the light into six pieces, carve a twin lotus on a wall of pale blue flames and await the blazing fires to reach the distant heavens,” when I finished the incantation, I turned suddenly to face Ulquiorra. Swinging my arm out, I begged for the spell to work. “Bakudo sixty-one, Rikujokoro!”

Much to my immediate relief, the six rods of light appeared and slammed mercilessly into his midsection. In shock, his eyes widened only slightly, and he made a soft noise at impact. The binding spell pinned him to where he stood. Although I had no idea how long it would keep him immobilized, I took my chance and fled as fast as I could. Even once I was out of sight, I kept going. As I ran, my idea from the throne room resurfaced.

“If Kisuke is still being monitored by soul society, then maybe one of the Shinigami stationed here would know where he is!”

_That seems probable. Find one and put that hood to good use._

“Right!”

 

 

 

After hours of searching—I could finally tell time thanks to the sun—I managed to find one. It wasn’t any Shinigami that I recognized, which made my next step a little easier. As he was surveying the immediate area, I appeared beside him. His muscles tensed as he sensed me. When I pointed my blade at his throat, his expression shifted to that of fear. Moving into his line of sight, I made sure my white hood concealed my face.

“I don’t want any trouble,” I said, voice low, “and I have no intention of hurting you. I just want to know one thing.”

“W-who are you?” He managed to ask.

“That doesn’t matter,” I spat. Taking a single step toward him, I built up my threatening aura. “I don’t want to hurt you or anyone else. I didn’t come here for that. I’m looking for somebody and all I need is for you to tell me where he is. You do that, and I’ll leave, no harm done. Then you can pretend like this never even happened.”

“W-who—!” Stammered the unnamed Shinigami.

“Kisuke Urahara. Know him? I need to know where he is,” I explained.

“I d-don’t really know him, no,” he explained. “But I think I know where he might be. Why do you need that guy?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I growled. “Just tell me! Quickly!” My tone shifted and clearly expressed my frustration. This only seemed to make him more scared.

“H-he runs a shop! On the other side of town from here! T-that’s all I know, I swear!” He blurted, holding his hands up defensively. I took another step toward him.

“What’s it called?” I asked urgently. “What is the shop called?”

“I don’t know, I don’t! I think it’s just his name? I’ve never needed to go there,” his fear-filled eyes were darting around; looking for a way to flee. I was already satisfied with his answers, though. I lowered my blade. It was enough to search for. I could see immediate relief in his features.

“Some advice,” I said as I turned my back to him, “if you’re going to protect this place, you should be less of a coward.” After that, I used my flash step to carry me across town.

Several minutes passed as I searched. I wasn’t given a specific direction, so I was playing it by ear. The Shinigami had said it was across town and gestured just enough to give me a bit of a clue. But there was no way to know if it was true or not. Or even if the stranger had known who I was talking about in the first place. Even so, I decided to trust what he said.

“Maybe I should have asked what the shop looks like. Or maybe what kind of shop it is?” I sighed into the wind. “It’s just named after him, I guess. If he was right of course.”

_Try sensing people out. Look for large collections of reiatsu. It might make it easier. Since he is ex-Shinigami then he is bound to have a high density._

“Good thinking,” I muttered, feeling stupid that I couldn’t think of that myself. Stopping so I could concentrate, I cleared my mind and began to feel for significant signs of reiatsu.

The first to immediately appear was quite a distance from me. It flared, uncontrolled, like a spotlight. _That is that boy, isn’t it? Ichigo._ Ignoring it, I kept up my careful scan of the area. As I calmed myself and focused deeper, several more lit up. There were three softer signatures headed toward the flaring one. Others, even smaller, were scattered around in various places. Nearest me; a cluster of large ones. These were the same as the first, except they were controlled in a way that made them not immediately detectable.

I lingered on the cluster. The odds of those being the place I needed to go were high. Not only that, but as I homed in on them, something felt strange. _There’s five, I think._ One in particular seemed especially strange. _No, not strange, **familiar.**_

Slowly, my feet carried me toward them. Even though I tried, I couldn’t shake the almost eerie feeling I had. It didn’t seem possible that I could know someone from the World of the Living. I didn’t even know people from there in my previous life. Unless they _weren’t._ Unless they really _weren’t_ from the World of the Living.

Realization dawned and my pace began to pick up. I had subconsciously matched the reiatsu signature to everyone I knew. As I realized and understood without a doubt, I had increased to sprinting for the cluster of them. They were only two more streets away from me.

“It’s Renji!”


	22. Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited about this chapter! When I wrote it I was full of energy! I think a lot happens, too (:

It was dinner time at Urahara Shoten. Tessai, as always, prepared a nice meal for the normal, full time residents, as well as extra helpings for their casual guest. The five of them sat together at the prepared table. Occasionally a sixth would join, but she was not present that evening.

Kisuke and Tessai chatted casually. Their subject was the business of the store and what they would need for the next shipment. Ururu was quiet as she ate; her head kept low as usual. Jinta made a nice racket while he ate. The boy was sure to heckle their guest about his stay and how much he was consuming.

Renji, their guest, on the other hand, was feeling especially perturbed that day. It had started in the early afternoon. A sensation, nothing more than an instantaneous flash, had caught his attention. Since then, he could feel pings of it returning and disappearing. Over and over again.

“Hey, moocher,” Jinta called at him, “why ain’t you eating today? Yesterday you were scarfing down food like a dog!”

“Something’s…” Renji trailed off in his response. For the umpteenth time that day, his attention snapped to the front of the shop. “That feels like…” he tried again, but his speech faded.

“What is it?” Inquired Kisuke. Renji stood, facing the front of the shop. Kisuke’s question had gone unheard. Slowly, Renji took steps toward the entrance. That feeling he had, the strange feeling; it was coming closer.

“I swear it is,” Renji couldn’t tell if he felt wary or excited. Perhaps it was both. “It has to be! That’s gotta be her!”

“Who!” Demanded Jinta. Renji’s steps turned to leaps as he made his way to the door. Despite his rush, he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to see her or not.

“Kaiya?!” He called, reaching for the door. In the same motion, he slid it open to reveal the space outside. It was empty of people.

“Your sister?” It was Kisuke, who walked out into the space. “You said she followed the trio of rogue captains. Why would she be here?”

Renji’s face had fallen; his gaze on the dirt. Surprisingly, he was disappointed. Extremely so. Others had talked him out of it, but directly following his sister’s defection, Renji believed she didn’t go willingly. The way she acted that day; she hadn’t said a word. It was unlike her. Besides, she had been _right_ about Aizen. _Why would she go with them?_

“Renji,” Kisuke said, dropping a hand on his shoulder. “Can you still sense the reiatsu?” Renji only shook his head as response. It had faded the instant his hand reached the door. Even so, Renji was certain she had been outside it. There was no doubt in his mind.

“She was here,” he said to the ground. “She had to be!”

“Let’s go back inside. If she made it here, as you claim, she might come back again. Maybe she felt discouraged because of her treachery?” Kisuke was trying to lift his spirits with logic. Renji wasn’t the type of person to fall into that. Still, he followed the man back into his shop. The group of them went back to having dinner as though nothing had happened.

 

 

***

 

 

It _was_ Renji.

I had seen him. It was only a for a flicker of a moment, but there was no mistaking his face. I _saw_ Renji. Right before my eyes, sliding open the door of the building that read _Urahara Shoten_ in big letters at the top. _That stupid coward was right. And my brother was there **too!**_

But it had only lasted less than a moment. My brother’s name was on my tongue when I felt the hands around my arms. As his face appeared following the opening of the door, I was forcefully whisked away via sonido. My cry was lost in the rushing wind. We had landed leagues away from where we had been. I wasn’t about to lose, though.

The moment I felt that damn Ulquiorra’s hands release me, I forced my right elbow into his ribs and my left side drew my sword as fast as I could. I didn’t get the impact I wanted, but he did recoil ever so slightly. I used that narrow opening to slash at him with Chi. My action gave me enough room to jump away from him. Sadly, my slash only cut through his clothes. His cold, unreadable eyes were on me and didn’t waver.

“Bakudo one, Sa—!”

I was cut off by a blow to my stomach. Ironically, he had elbowed me like I had done to him. The impact forced the air from my lungs, and I was sent sprawling backward onto the ground. I couldn’t allow myself to recover, though. Quickly, I jumped back to my feet and bared my teeth. With a snarl, I rushed at him, swinging my sword at his neck.

Without so much as flinching, Ulquiorra caught my blade in his bare hand. The other, that I had sworn was kept in his pocket, was sunk deep into my abdomen. My eyes were wide as I gawked at the sight of it. Then, I slowly dragged my eyes back to his. Expressionless as always. The pain didn’t hit until he removed his hand.

My blood spilled from my body as my legs grew weak. It dripped from his hand too; he held it stiffly at his side, the white skin stained a deep crimson. Slowly, my arms wrapped around my wound in an attempt to apply pressure. In the same motion, my legs collapsed beneath me. My tanned skin began to pale with the loss of blood.

“Fuck,” I choked, falling to the ground.

“We’re leaving,” he said stoically. Painfully, I tried to drag myself to my feet. I growled, but it sounded more like a gurgle.

“I still have time left!” I managed to shout through my pain and internal bleeding. Blood began to dribble down my chin. “I’m not leaving! I won’t let you take me back there!”

I gripped my sword tightly in my left fist. I’d made it to my feet, but my knees shook with effort. _I just need one hit to deal with this wound._

Using all the strength I had left, I lunged at Ulquiorra. Praying for luck, I swung with all my might to take him down. He was too fast for me. With moves I almost couldn’t see, he managed to rip my zanpakuto free from my grasp. At the same time, his bloodied hand clasped my face. I had no warning, nor could I tell what was happening, before my head was mercilessly smashed into the ground. The impact left a large crater.

As I felt blood pool beneath my head, my vision blurred. I was on the ground, with no strength left to move, dancing on the line between conscious and unconscious. My vision darkened more and Ulquiorra’s silhouette loomed over me. For a moment, I braced myself for the end. Then, I remembered what Chi had told me, and I dropped my fear. _They won’t kill me. Not yet, at least._

“We’re leaving,” Ulquiorra repeated as I faded in and out.

“Dammit,” I tried. My voice was incoherent; sounding like a garbled groan. I watched his blurred silhouette turn away from me.

“Pick her up,” he commanded as he moved to open the Garganta. Only after his command did I notice one of the many servants from Las Noches was with us. It looked like a female, but she kept her head down and said nothing. Pain surged through me as she lifted me from the ground and pulled me onto her back. The change also resulted in extreme dizziness that made me sick to my stomach.

Ulquiorra disappeared into the precipice world. Right behind him, the unnamed arrancar servant followed. Although it pained me to do so, I turned my head and forlornly watched the portal snap shut behind us. Then, I slumped against the stranger carrying me and continued fading in and out of coherence.

 

 

 

“Oooh, look’t her!” Gin cooed. “She’s in bad shape~!”

I had deteriorated rather quickly during the short trip back to the throne room. Gin’s voice sounded distorted in my ears. Almost like a nightmare. My head swam and I clawed and fought against my own dwindling consciousness. I needed to stay awake.

“My apologies, Lord Aizen,” Ulquiorra offered. “I was forced to penalize her for her actions.”

“No apologies needed,” Aizen responded, “I am well aware. You did return for a short moment to tell me what she had done, after all. Thank you for bringing her back,” Ulquiorra nodded his appreciation for being recognized. He then turned to the girl carrying me.

“Leave her where you are and you may go,” he instructed. In perfect compliance, she knelt to the ground to release me. Before she could remove me from her back, however, my nausea caught up with me. A small but awful looking mixture of blood and bile spilled over her shoulder.

“Gross!” Laughed Gin.

Still, she didn’t even so much as change her expression. The girl placed me—gently, surprisingly—on the floor, stood, gave a swift bow, then exited the throne room. Even after everything, she did not say a single word. I could barely manage to follow what was happening. My sight was nearly gone, and my body shook with the effort to remain conscious. 

Quickly, I realized a lot of my effort I was wasting was because I was forcing my eyes open. Deciding I would last longer without them—and the fact that I could barely see anyway—I let them fall closed. My breathing was labored as I lay on the cold floor. Pushing all my focus to my ears, I listened intently. It was slightly relieving to reduce what effort I needed to put out.

“Ulquiorra, you are dismissed as well. Thank you, again,” Aizen said. He sounded distant; probably because he was high above me.

“Yes, Sir,” Ulquiorra answered, immediately followed by his footsteps. They drew near me, passed, and toward the large entryway at the end of the throne room. Softly, I heard the door open and close again.

“Gin,” It was Aizen again, somehow sounding louder this time. “Would you see to our guest here?”

“Of course~!” He sounded amused and excited. Next, I heard the sound of flash step and shuffling directly beside me. His slender hands lifted my shoulders up. Soon, he was carrying me in a similar manner that the servant had. The familiar scent was almost soothing. I tried to pretend I was in my old life. But an injustice was taking place.

“Wait,” It was the last of my effort to speak. I only hoped I could manage it long enough before I really did pass out. “Wait,” I said again, my voice a choked whisper, “this…isn’t fair…! I still… I still—!”

“You still what, Miss Tsuki? You still have eight hours left in the World of the Living? You still have two days left of freedom? Not anymore. I’m revoking them,” Aizen interrupted.

“But we h—!”

“Had an agreement? Yes, but clearly the terms have been voided. I promised you two weeks and the twenty-four hours in the World of the Living. What did you promise me? ‘No harm done’ I believe is what you had said,” Aizen explained. “Ah, but there was harm done. You attacked your escort, went looking for Shinigami, and even ended up in this critical condition yourself. Revoking your freedom is only natural as a response to your disobedience.” Slowly, I peeked an eye open. Aizen’s amused grin was like twisting a knife in my already awful wound. I squeezed it shut again. _He knew what would happen._

“You fucking bastard,” I tried to snarl. Each word was softer than the last. There was no way I could continue being conscious. Slowly, I fell into darkness.

 

 

 

“Aw, there she goes,” Gin giggled. Using his arm to adjust the now limp woman, he smiled at Aizen. “I’ll bring her back probably tomorrow afternoon. She’s gonna’ need at least two sessions for this mess!”

“Take all the time you need,” Aizen said, nodding. “I need her in pristine condition in order to accomplish the goal I am after.”

“Of course, Captain~!” Gin chortled before leaving the throne room. The girl on his back was something else, at least to him. Gin was just as intrigued as Aizen, though for differing reasons. When he had walked a nice distance from the throne room toward his own, he stopped in the hall and straightened himself.

The girl’s chest was rising and falling with her breathing. It was shallow, but enough to hold her until his help. _Good._ Ulquiorra had actually done a number on her. He didn’t doubt that she had been the one to force his hand of course. He did recall him speaking to Aizen about her momentarily restraining him with a kido spell. _Didn’t think she had it in her!_

Gin was giggling again. Then, he resumed his walk. After he managed to bring her back to a stable state, he would definitely need to go for new clothes. Gin could feel the warmth of her still seeping blood into his coat. Her head, which rested against his left shoulder, also bled onto him.

“I told ya’ death would’ve been easier on ya’,” he sighed almost blissfully. “But ya’ didn’t wanna’ listen to yer’ Captain, did’ja?”

The girl groaned in her unconscious state. Of course, with her injuries, she would probably still be feeling a bit of pain. Gin could take care of it, though. And perhaps tease her some too. He did still have the paper swan he had taken from her, after all.

 

 

***

 

 

It was a nightmare that roused me to consciousness.

Not that I could remember any of the details, though. Everything was hazy. But there were clear indicators of distress in my sleep. One of course, was the fact that I had bolted upright. The others, my pounding heart and cold sweat, were also clear indicators of the nightmare. It must have been intense.

Slowly, I calmed my breathing and tried to wake myself up. I slapped my cheeks gently before rubbing my eyes. _Wish I knew what time it was._ After opening them, I glanced around expecting to see the small room I had grown accustomed to. My breath caught in my throat and my heart nearly stopped.

It was certainly a room I knew well, but not the small one.

I was in a much larger bed. It seemed that in my sleep I had kicked off the covers; they were in a rumpled mess, half hanging off the bed. Pillows surrounded me, looking as though they had been propping me up slightly when I was laying down. I tried to tell myself that what I was seeing was wrong; that maybe I was hallucinating.

Everything was a perfect match to my memories. The two doors and their placement, the location of various shelves, even the wall the bed was against. There was no way I was imagining it. And, off to one corner, in a lone chair, was all the proof I needed. It wasn’t far off from the bed, maybe just a few long steps.

Sleeping, in a rather uncomfortable looking position in that chair, was Gin. He was leaned back, head resting on both the high back of the chair, as well as in his palm. One elbow—his left—was propped up on the armrest. He had his left leg crossed over his right in a wide triangle; his ankle resting on his right knee. It seemed as though he had sat in that position, watching me, and just happened to fall asleep.

I was in _his_ room. In _his_ bed.

The silence was deafening as I clutched my head in my hands and stared at my knees. _Why? Why am I in here?_ Memories rocketed through my mind about the times I had spent in that exact room. They were overwhelming. The memories threatened to suffocate me. Although they were joyous and happy, I was filled with fear.

Then, I noticed a strange numbness in my abdomen. As I moved my fingers slightly, I felt medical wrap around my head. Adjusting where I was looking, I noticed a lot more around my midsection all the way up to my ribs. It was tight and wound several times around me. Slowly, I exhaled.

“Oh,” I breathed in relief. My voice was nearly silent. “That’s why.” _Of **course** it is._ “Idiot,” I sighed, voice still barely audible. I lowered my hands from my head and sat up fully again. Although I tried to fight it, my gaze returned to Gin.

He was still in the same position. His chest rose and fell steadily as he slept. The expression on his face was calm and relaxed. It was a rare sight. And I adored it dearly. It was one that expressed not a care in the world, and I had only ever seen it while he was asleep.

My favorite times were my restless nights as he slept soundly. I found it difficult to sleep, especially during my pregnancy, but being near him always helped. During those times I swore I could watch him for hours and still be perfectly content. Sometimes I would even stroke his soft hair and hum to him. That same face I had seen during those nights was sitting only a few feet away.

I was on my feet before I knew it. Taking small, hesitant steps, I crept toward Gin. He didn’t stir as I did so. I swallowed. In my mind, I knew I should turn back and return to the bed. My head screamed at me to stop. But my limbs had a mind of their own. I was drawn to him by a force I could not fight against. Perhaps, it was my own selfish desires. Maybe, it was the Kaiya I had left behind, reaching for Gin through me. Or even the fact that I was losing the line between reality and fantasy.

All I knew for certain was that I had to touch him. I had to make sure it was real. I needed to know that where I was, what I was seeing was truly happening.

Although it felt like an eternity, it only took me a few seconds to reach him. My arm was outstretched toward the right side of his face; fingers almost reaching him. His hair fell over his eyes. Still, he hadn’t moved. Again, I swallowed. Then, I closed the miniscule distance between him and my hand. My fingers brushed over his soft hair; my palm landing gently on his cheek. He was warm.

Gin’s eyes opened.

Gasping in alarm, I flinched backward. In the same motion, I yanked my hand away from his face. Those cyan eyes—that almost seemed to glow in the dark—didn’t waver. A slow, lazy grin crept onto his face as he watched me. Short moments of silence passed as my heart pounded in my chest. His gaze had me frozen to the spot.

“Yer’ gonna’ start bleedin’ again,” he finally said, voice soft. Then, as an afterthought: “Doesn’t it hurt?”

As if on cue, a sharp twinge of pain came from my stomach. Wincing, I looked to the wrap. Blood was starting to patch through the many layers. It was only small spots, but I knew if I wasn’t careful, it would only grow worse and worse. Likely until I wound up unconscious again.

“O-oh,” was all I could manage. When I looked at him again, Gin was shaking his head with the same lazy grin. His eyes were still glazed with sleep.

“Go on an’ lay back down,” he instructed, sitting himself up. “Ya’ need more rest before the next session.” Then, he lifted himself out of the chair, taking a step toward me. I didn’t know what to do, so I remained where I stood. “Here,” he offered; voice still gentle. Gin took my hands in his and led me the short distance back to his bed. Rather than allowing me to lay down myself, he lifted me. He had wrapped an arm around my shoulders and hooked one under my legs. Just like that, I was on my back, facing the ceiling. Finally, I managed to take a breath. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding it.

“Uh,” I tried, but couldn’t find words. I turned my head, expecting to see him back in the chair, but he had sat down beside me. There was still a sense of tiredness in his voice.

“Healin’ takes a lot outta ya’,” he sighed, more to himself. Gin turned to me for a moment, still showing those piercing eyes. “Hey,” his voice was even softer than before, “I’m gonna’ lay here. I’ll help ya’ more when I have rest, too,” he paused as he watched me, “’kay? I’ll give ya’ plenty of room. I don’t move much in my sleep.”

With every word he spoke, my heart only beat faster. I watched him, wide eyed. Uncertainty swept through me, causing flashbacks of my breakdowns and overwhelming emotions back in Soul Society. Panic quickly followed the uncertainty. _I can’t! I can’t do this!_ _I’ll, I’ll break—!_ My eyes met his as I drowned in my horrified thoughts. The look was unlike any I had ever seen from him. Then, like a switch, my panic shifted to nostalgia.

“…Okay,” I finally managed to whisper. With my acceptance, Gin lowered himself onto the bed. There was a large space between us. He lay on his back, closing his eyes again as soon as his head hit the pillow.

“Sleep,” he told me in a dozing whisper. But, I couldn’t.

Gin was out like a light, but I remained with my eyes on the ceiling. My cheeks burned red and my heart still raced in my chest. I could barely remember the last time the two of us had shared a night there. That life was moving further and further away. Yet, those desires were still strong and ran rampant through me. Several times, I turned my head to look at his sleeping face. The desires burned brighter each time.

It didn’t have to be a fantasy. What I wanted didn’t have to be only in my head. I had a chance. It was small, but it was a chance. Maybe, if I could have what I wanted, something more could be gained, too. Perhaps the spark that started back then could be ignited once more. It didn’t take much to turn it into a flame back then.

_Don’t_.

Of course, it was dangerous. It was a much different situation. I was a prisoner, not another hollow among the ranks. Gin didn’t treat me like he had in that life. Back then, I didn’t have Aizen’s attention on me, either. It was easier, then. So much easier. But I was still _me_. That fact itself gave hope that it could be done again. With more work and more patience. I turned to look at him again. Something inside me surged.

**_Don’t._ **

Like earlier, my arm was outstretched toward him before I realized it. I had rolled gently onto my side, facing him. Gin was still held under the peace of sleep. Slowly, as not to disturb him, I closed the gap between us. My shoulder that lay on the bed brushed his gently. Mine was bare, his still covered by the large coat. It wouldn’t take much to pull myself over him and look him in his peaceful face. Gently, I pushed my free arm to the space beside him as I propped myself up with both hands. Thankfully, I hadn’t touched him yet. He hadn’t woken, yet, either.

_You really shouldn’t._

My internal warnings were lost. I didn’t want to stop. I needed it.

I hovered over Gin, using my arms to keep me stable. My weight rested on my left hip; my legs still relaxed. They brushed against him too. A small, nostalgic smile graced my lips. I had been in that position before, while he slept soundly. I should have felt bad to wake him, but it had always made the two of us happy. Red hair fell over my face as I watched him with an adoring gaze. _I could make it happen, I could._ The white of my hair was braided and rested down the length of my back. _It’ll only take time, that’s it_.

Gently, I brushed some hair away from his face. My touch was light and caring. Then, I slowly lowered myself, so our chests met. By the way his breathing shifted, I could tell he was waking. Not wasting a single moment, I cupped his cheeks in my hands. After closing my eyes, my lips found his.

When his arms wrapped around me, surprise laced my veins. Even more so when he kissed me back. I had expected him to push me back or move away. But he didn’t. Those arms pulled me closer as we shared that embrace.

Just like that, I wanted more. After having received just a little, I wanted to take it all. My desires burned even brighter. Our kiss deepened. He was mine again, and I sure as hell was not about to let go.

Tangling my fingers in that soft hair, I pressed myself against him. It was he and I again, just he and I. His jaw shifted and I opened my mouth eagerly to join him. Our tongues danced together in a way that was so familiar and fulfilling that I could have wept with joy. And still, I wanted more.

I moved my hands. They slid beneath his coat at his shoulders. Gin released me so I could push it off of his arms. He allowed me to discard it. When I tried to do the same with the garment that was underneath it, his hands caught my wrists.

“Easy,” he warned, breaking the kiss. “ _Easy,”_ he pressed when I continued to try undressing him. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” I whined breathlessly. It sounded childish.

“Did’ja forget?” He chuckled. Releasing one hand, he moved and ran his fingers over the wrap at my lower back. His hand moved slowly, stroking up and down. “We can’t, not with ya’ like this,” he explained gently. My face fell and I sighed in defeat.

“But I—!”

“I know, maybe another time,” he offered. When he determined I understood and would not take his clothes off, he wrapped his arms around me again. “Really,” he sighed as his fatigue returned, “ya’ should sleep.”

“Fine,” I whined again, resting my head against his chest. Gin relaxed, laying his own head against a pillow. Quickly, I realized just how tired I really was. Slowly, almost like he was trying to soothe me, Gin rubbed my back.

In that position, with him, I felt like I was home. Somehow, everything was right. I had nothing to be scared of. Although I still wanted everything Gin had to offer, I found myself feeling satisfied. There was more to come, so I decided that was enough.

_At least, for now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it <3


	23. Twenty-Three

The healing took far longer than Gin had originally thought. The fact that I had reopened the wound late in the night hadn’t helped matters. It wasn’t until late evening that the wound was finally closed. Still, he decided I needed more rest. It was probably because I still felt occasionally dizzy thanks to my head wound.

Gin had left me alone to explain the situation to Aizen. I was still in his room. It was as good a time as any to stretch my legs. I used the opportunity to roam his space and inspect things. It was a fun game to see if there were any differences between my memories and the room before me. I found only one.

There was a desk on the left side of the room. It was eerily similar to the one I worked at while in Soul Society. On the right side there were three small drawers. The top two held pens and papers. Opening the last, I revealed an ornate paper swan.

_My_ paper swan.

“I knew he stole something from my desk,” I scoffed. Slowly, I lifted it out of the drawer and held it close. After inspecting it, I was relieved to see it hadn’t been unfolded. The paper held as much descriptive detail as I could manage about my son and his birth. No one needed to read it but me.

“Who taught ya’ how ta’ make that?” I jumped at Gin’s sudden voice. He had returned rather quickly.

“You lied,” I shot back, holding it out to him. “You stole this!”

“‘Course I lied,” he laughed, “why would I tell ya’ I stole somethin’a yers’?”

“It’s important to me,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Don’t take other people’s things.”

“So, who taught ya’ how ta’ make it?” He asked again. I ran my finger across one of the wings gently, as if I were petting a real bird.

“I did,” I lied. Gin leaned closer to me, smirking. His squinted eyes fell on the swan in my hands.

“Ya’ sure about that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I snapped back, feigning a bewildered expression. He poked the swan.

“‘Cause yer’ still a bad liar~!” He cooed. Pushing his hand away, I growled. “So what’cha got written on that paper?”

“Nothing,” I said, turning away from him. “For me only. I’m taking this back!” Gin pat his hand onto my shoulder. In the same motion, he turned me back toward him.

“And where are ya’ gonna’ keep it, hm? Ya’ know that pink boy is just gonna’ take it!” As he spoke, he reached for the swan. I jerked it away from him. Gin visibly pouted.

“I kept my badge away from him, didn’t I?” Came my retort. Then, as I realized, my eyes widened. “You have that too! You never gave it back!” Gin was laughing as I went on a frantic search for it. That small thing was the only possession I had left from Soul Society. It was what also gave me pride to stand against my torment. “Where is it!”

“Calm down now~!” He chortled as he held it out. All five of his fingers wrapped around it as he showed the face of it to me. “Not a scratch, see? Ya’ can leave it with me, it’ll be safe!” Extending his hand, he offered it to me. “If ya’ take it, they might find it,” he explained. “They won’t find it if I have it.”

I held my badge in my hand, regarding it fondly. It didn’t take me long to love my life as a Shinigami. There was truth in Gin’s words, though. It had been difficult for me to hide it from Szayel. Adding the swan would only make it harder.

“Okay,” I sighed, returning both of them to him. “But I want them back whenever I’m free. If I get free,” the last statement hung between us. My head was down as the weight of it hit me.

“Gin,” I said after a long silence. Immediately sensing the sudden shift into seriousness, he tilted his head. “I’m going to die, aren’t I?” He didn’t respond, just watched me closely. His grin had vanished. “I’ll do what he wants, all of it. I’ll break the seal on this—this _thing_ and give him what he’s looking for. Something is gonna’ happen, and then what? That’s it, isn’t it? Then it’s over. He’ll,” my voice broke. “Aizen will kill me.”

“Aw, don’t get like that,” he whined. Gin let his shoulders droop as though he were trying to sympathize. “Keep that fire ya’ got!” When he saw that my expression didn’t change, his softened. “Don’t look’t me like that,” he said. “That hopeless look don’t suit you.”

“But it _is_ hopeless! You guys… you made me just as big a traitor! And I, like a coward, like, like—like an _idiot_ , fucking went along with it!” As I spoke, I sat myself on his bed. “I’ll die here, alone. No one will question it. Even my brother,” I tried to choke back my emotions, “even my brother thinks I’m like you three! I saw it, the way he looked at me on Sokyoku hill. Everyone knows that I betrayed the soul society. They all know that I,” I exhaled deeply, voice shaking, “that I attacked my own friend. There is nothing left for me now!”

“Kaiya y—!”

“I won’t be broken. And I will sure as hell keep fighting to leave this bullshit. But then what? I’ll be stuck. I can’t return to Soul Society because I’m a traitor. They’d probably sentence me to death for this kind of treason! I’ll have nothing left. So, it _is_ hopeless,” I turned away from him to lay down. “I’m gonna sleep a bit more now.”

Gin was quiet. I was certain he was watching me. But I couldn’t be bothered. Truthfully, I was still tired. I knew without a doubt that I was in for a new kind of hell when I was returned to Aizen. Might as well rest before that happened.

 

 

 

Kaiya had long fallen asleep before Gin had finally figured out what he wanted to do. Surprisingly, the girl had left him dumbfounded with her ranting. She certainly still had her natural fire, but it seemed she had convinced herself she was a dead girl walking. _Not to mention what she did durin’ the night._ Gin had asked himself why he even kissed her back in the first place. There was no answer for it.

Or maybe there was. _I wanna’ play with her._ It echoed in his mind. Of course, that very fact had been true long before he even mentioned her to Aizen. _I **really** wanna’ play with her. _And Gin was certainly playing with her already. It was his own signature teasing. But something was nagging at him. He desperately wanted to take it a further level.

_“You didn’t come here for this.”_

That hit dangerously close to home. But how in the world could this girl know _anything?_ That was it; exactly what he wanted to do. Gin needed to put her to the test, and he knew exactly how. The girl was too prideful to spill herself to Aizen. _Would it be the same for me?_

There was a huge likelihood that it would not. Kaiya had made that very clear herself when she revealed her infatuation with Gin. It only took that one kiss to tell him everything he needed to know. Even if she hadn’t meant to, her feelings poured into him when that happened. It was a huge vulnerable spot for her; easy to exploit.

“Hey,” Gin said, a hand on her shoulder. Kaiya’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, but nothing more. Gently, he jostled her. “Hey,” he repeated.

“Huh,” she finally breathed, eyes still closed. Gin knew she was still held strongly by sleep.

“If ya’ tell me the truth about that swan,” he offered, “I’ll tell ya’ a secret.” Gin knew he had her attention when her eyes opened. “Whadda’ ya’ say?”

“What secret?” She asked as she sat herself up. There was skepticism in her eyes. “I know you have a lot of tricks.”

“It has ta’ do with what ya’ were sayin’ about dyin’,” was all he allowed. Couldn’t give it away before she gave what he wanted, after all.

“Why are you so interested in that silly little origami swan?” She pressed. Gin shook his head.

“Ah, ah! No more questions, I want the truth! Or, no secret for ya’,” he countered. Kaiya grew visibly frustrated. After a time, she faced him fully.

“The truth, huh?” She confirmed. Gin nodded his response. Another spout of silence passed.

“Who taught ya’ how ta’ make it like that?” Gin reiterated, almost impatient for her answer.

“ _You_ did.”

Gin didn’t expect that.

Truthfully, he didn’t know _what_ he expected her to say. But it definitely wasn’t _that._ Kaiya’s straight face and serious tone didn’t help matters. There was no way she was lying. Gin could read her lies so easily; this was not one of them. Still, that couldn’t be right. He hadn’t taught anyone, let alone his Lieutenant. _When?_

“When?” Gin’s voice echoed his thoughts. Kaiya only shook her head, then leaned toward him. She looked at him expectantly. Unfortunately, he was still reeling from her truth.

“What’s the secret?” She asked, impatience in her voice. “You promised.” When Gin rubbed his head with his hand, her expression shifted to disbelief and outrage. “Don’t tell me there isn’t one! Don’t tell me you lied!”

“No, no, no!” Gin countered, holding his hands up defensively. “There’s a secret, I promise! Ya’ just had me shocked is all.”

“Then on with it!” She crossed her arms. Gin rocked back on his heels as he opened his arms.

“Listen, ‘kay?” He started. She nodded her understanding. “As far as I know,” Gin emphasized that, “Aizen has no plans on killin’ ya’!” In response, Kaiya blinked. Her surprise was clear, but it was edged by skepticism. “Ya’ see,” Gin began to explain, “Aizen is very, ah, _particular_ about certain thin’s! Basically, he sees ya’ as property and yer’ value is _high_. Make sense?”

“I, uh, no?” She told him. Sighing, Gin dropped himself to sit next to her.

“Aizen ain’t gonna’ go an’ discard ya’ like trash. So, yer’ not a dead girl walkin’! He’s too interested in ya’ to just drop ya’ with no warnin’ or anythin’ like that. I might call it a mild obsession, even.”

“I don’t understand why,” she muttered.

“Who does?” He laughed.

More silence passed. Gin still poured over his mind about how he could have taught Kaiya the folds of his swan. At no point did he make it in front of her. A lot of the time, she had sent him away while she did his paperwork. Not that he complained about that part. It didn’t make sense. Then, what she said before rang in his thoughts again.

“Hey,” Gin said softly.

“What?”

“‘Ya’ didn’t come here for this’,” he echoed. Kaiya blinked. “Then what _did_ I come here for, hm?”

“You tell me,” she scoffed, a smirk appearing on her lips.

“Fine, then why would ya’ say somethin’ like that?” He tried. Kaiya’s smirk only grew.

“Because I know,” she said. Her eyes held a victory. Kaiya had something over him, and she knew it. That made her dangerous. “I’ll tell you what,” she continued, “since were making deals now; you let me go for a walk and I’ll tell you why you’re here.”

“Sounds like a fair trade to me,” he complied. It wasn’t fair, actually, but Gin didn’t mind. She couldn’t escape him no matter how hard she tried. The two stood in unison. Kaiya’s smug grin did not falter as she leaned toward Gin.

“You’re here because of _her,”_ she whispered, before walking to the door.

Gin was thrown for the second time in just their short exchange. And more and more he knew what Aizen found so alluring about her. Considering Aizen was a man obsessed with secrets and exploitation, it only made sense. Now Kaiya was all the more dangerous in Gin’s eyes. There was no telling if she would turn on him or not. The information she held and so freely gave away to only him and _only_ him proved she was not afraid. Gin thought she needed to be.

In order to protect himself and his own secrets, Gin needed to break her down. She needed to be broken down _hard._


	24. Twenty-four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOOOIIII (fun times ahead)

“Welcome back,” Aizen greeted me as I entered the throne room. “I see you are well again.” I didn’t look at him. Everything was back to how it was before, and I had made no progress in escaping. It was frustrating. I was done playing games and wanted to have whatever was in store for me over with.

“Just get on with it,” I growled. “Give me my blades and let’s just go!”

“Rather impatient, I see,” he remarked. “Ah, but the matter will not be carried out here today. You see, your selfish request that I so _generously_ allowed has put my research behind schedule. I’d like to make a genuine breakthrough today.”

“The hell are you talking about?” I demanded. Aizen stood, gesturing to the doorway that was behind him.

“Do please follow me outside,” he instructed. Slowly, I raised an eyebrow. Then, I crossed my arms.

“Outside? You mean where it was oddly light out? What for?”

“The opponent I have selected for you today would be a poor choice for sake of minimal damage to the palace. Outside, under the artificial sun, there is less to be destroyed, you see,” he explained. I scoffed, scrunching my nose in frustration. But there was no escaping it. Without a word, I used my flash step to land near his self-proclaimed throne. Aizen led the way, followed by Gin and Tousen. I trailed behind them.

_Who could it be this time? Obviously, someone too powerful to let loose in the throne room like before. Shit._

Before long, we were outside. I figured there was some rearranging done to make the walk a lot shorter. Even though I had seen it before, the strange light outside still seemed so odd to me. Or, maybe, it was the lack of even the slightest memory of it. _Have I forgotten? Or did I ever even know about this in the first place?_ There was no way to know.

Like my other battles, spectators had gathered around to watch. It was different than the throne room, though. Many were forced to stand. Others took up positions on high pillars and watched from above. After allowing me possession of my zanpakuto, Aizen, Gin, and Tousen all took to the air. They stood to watch from above as they had before.

I continued walking forward, each step sinking only slightly into the sand. My opponent was already there and ready. I could feel their incredible reiatsu. I didn’t like how familiar it felt. Even so, I tried my best not to be nervous. That resolve began to fade when my opponent stepped out and revealed himself, though.

“Thank you for coming, everyone,” Aizen greeted the spectators. “Because of a previous agreement, we have fallen behind schedule. To make up for it, I have arranged for an all or nothing battle between our dear guest and a volunteering espada above the number of eight. Thank you again for volunteering, Nnoitra.” At the sound of his name, the espada in question nodded. “I know in the past I have called these exchanges ‘death battles’ and each time I have rescued Miss Kaiya Tsuki. I’d like to make it clear that I will _not_ be doing so this time,” Aizen paused, looking at me expectantly. The horror I felt inside I hid from my face. I did, however, flash a look at Gin that expressed my internal cry: _I thought you said he had no intention of killing me!_

Gin was shrugging in the small instant my eyes were on him. His posture and signature grin brought his own voice in my head. I had no doubt that the thought would be exactly what he would have said aloud. _I did say as far as I knew, didn’t I?_ My fingers curled tighter around the handles of my zanpakuto. My grip was so hard my knuckles were white. _I’m in deep shit._

“If Kaiya cannot overcome her opponent today,” Aizen continued, “then she shows me her potential was not as expected. Her death will end my waste of time thus far,” Aizen grinned at that. “If she can overcome him, however, I have no doubt the seal will be broken. She will have made the progress necessary to proceed to the next step. I have high hopes for you, Miss Tsuki,” his attention was focused on me the entire time he spoke. My heart was already pounding at the pressure put onto me. Still, I refused to show it.

“If you have no questions,” Aizen spoke in my silence, “then we may begin.” I turned my attention back to the espada standing several feet from me.

 He was grinning wildly, hand on the handle of an oversized, oddly shaped zanpakuto. I had some memory of him, but only because he had also been on my _avoid at all costs_ list when I too was an arrancar. Nnoitra was wild, unpredictable, and definitely strong. Not to mention his extreme disdain for women. If I really was going to beat him, it wasn’t going to be easy.

“Let’s get it over with,” I said, watching him cautiously. Inside my chest my heart beat faster still. I had yet to reach the level of a Captain with my reiatsu and I was certain Nnoitra’s exceeded one. _Oh **fuck.**_

_Calm down._

It was Chi and Tamashi. They spoke in unison.

_We will do this together. We will do everything we can to win. If that means breaking the seal and becoming what Aizen wants, then so be it. We will **not** die here today. _

“Okay,” I answered them after a deep exhale. My hands that had begun to tremble relaxed and held firm. Though my heart still beat rapidly, I steadied my nerves. _I can do this._

Taking up a defensive stance, I never took my eyes off my opponent. His height loomed over me in a normal sense, but his distance from me made him seem closer to my height. I didn’t want him any closer. Unfortunately, what I wanted didn’t matter. While cackling, the espada rushed at me, swinging his blade wildly.

Quickly, I jumped away. _Fuck he’s fast._ His blade had nearly come down straight on me. I could still feel the air that rushed past before I dodged it. As a result, he buried his blade deep into the sand. Dust rose up in a thick cloud from the impact. In the same instant, he turned his wide grin at me. Clenching my jaw, I braced myself for him to come again. It wasn’t him that came charging at me at an alarming speed though. It was that crazy looking blade.

It cut through the air, aimed straight at me. Nnoitra had thrown it. My reflexes weren’t as quick this time, however. Instead, I reinforced my stance and moved to block its force. Roaring my already budding frustration and my effort, I stopped the top curve with my swords. The sound it made at impact was loud and sent air rushing passed me. If at all possible, Nnoitra’s grin widened as he yanked the chain his zanpakuto was attached to. The action pulled it away from me and he caught the handle as it reached him.

“Girls!” I growled. Thanks to my effort in the Seireitei, as well as the battles I had had while imprisoned in the palace, I no longer needed to speak their release. My zanpakuto broadened and their sickles formed. Their Shikai increased my speed. Then, I charged at him.

_Pay attention. Don’t get excited. Make a plan. Take him down._

I repeated my mantra in my head over and over. Unfortunately, my speed did not match his, so he was more than ready for me. I used my right blade aimed at his shoulder to swipe at him. With his bare hand, he caught it and tried to yank it away from me. My feet were firmly planted in the sand, though. I wasn’t going to budge just yet.

“Tamashi!” I called. The sound of a growling wolf ignited in my ears as she obeyed my command. Straight from his hand she consumed his reiatsu and stored it in her blade. Nnoitra’s grin faltered and he quickly released her. In the same motion he jumped away from me.

Tamashi was special in that cutting an opponent was not required for her ability. Not like Chi. My right blade was able to do exactly what the left could, except with someone’s reiatsu. If I wanted, I could use Revive as well and it would replenish my own reiatsu with the stolen quantity. But I didn’t need that then. My goal was shock value. As an added bonus, if Tamashi consumed enough, Nnoitra would eventually become exhausted.

“Dirty trick!” Nnoitra snapped. His giant grin had returned. “You never did that before, bitch!”

“Best to keep some things hidden,” I responded, annoyed. “Everyone should know that. I would be at a huge disadvantage if I simply showed everyone everything.”

“Whatever,” he called as he picked his zanpakuto back up. “It won’t matter in the end! You won’t beat me, Shinigami woman!” With that, he was charging me again. Rather than wait for the clash, I rushed at him as well. His height was too much to hit where I wanted. After leaping into the air, I used both arms to swing at him. My jump slowed me down, though.

With a back-hand motion, Nnoitra swatted me out of the air with his weapon. The impact of the axe-like thing winded me. In the same instant, I was rocketed onto the ground. Another cloud of dust rose up around us. Quickly, I pulled myself out of the pit my body created in the sand. Sparing myself only a second to cough and catch my breath, I had to rapidly launch myself away from where I’d landed. Nnoitra had thrown his zanpakuto again. This time it was dangerously close to severing one of my limbs.

“Shit,” I gasped.

“You’re disappointing,” scoffed Nnoitra as he watched me. As he took steps toward me, I heard his bracelets jingle. “I only volunteered because you were made out to be some kind of prodigy. You’re just another worthless Shinigami. Almost not even worth killing!”

Rather than respond, I used my flash step to appear in front of him. I used only Chi this time as I aimed to strike his arm with her sickle. If I had enough force, there was the chance I could sever it. But, as the bladed edge hooked him with the strength of my strike, only his sleeve was cut. Even as I yanked to tear into his flesh, nothing happened. The same instant, he flicked his arm to rid himself of the sickle. In horror, I jumped away.

“Stupid idiot,” Nnoitra snorted. “I have the strongest Hierro of all the espada! You’ll never cut me with that weak ass attack!”

_Steel skin! Fuck! How could I forget that?! Dammit!_

While I was stuck in my head, Nnoitra used sonido to appear in front of me. It was just as I did to him. As panic came, I ran through my mind looking for anything helpful. I came up blank. In the same instant, Nnoitra slashed at me. Thankfully, I managed to reignite my reflexes. Both arms went up to block his attack. It took substantial effort, but I managed to stop him before I could take damage. Before he could do any more, an idea struck.

“Hado thirty-three, Sokatsui!” I roared, pointing my palm at his face. The blue fiery blast exploded at near point-blank range, right in his face. Snarling in response, he backed away from me. His own palm fell over the new burns.

“Fuckin’ bitch!” he growled. It wasn’t much, but the damage I’d cause gave me some hope. _Kido works in close situations, got it!_

“What, can’t handle some heat?” I taunted while grinning. “You had to have known about kido, I use that all the time!”

“I’ll make you regret that!” Nnoitra howled before lashing out again.

“Not likely,” I huffed as I managed to parry his oversized zanpakuto. Even that much took a lot of effort. Each strike was extremely powerful. He was still so much faster than me.

As I was recovering from the parry, Nnoitra was attacking again. Though I managed to block some of it, much more threw me off balance. The force of his attack and my lack of stability sent me several feet backward. I left deep tracks in the sand. Giving me no time to recover or react, he followed me at incredible speed.

“Tamashi, Reflect!” I commanded desperately as the distance between us closed in less than a moment. The sound of her snarls rang in my ears as she fired off the reiatsu she had stolen from him. The shards blasted into his chest. The impact forced a sound of discomfort from him as it pushed him back.

His blade fell top first into the sand as he took a moment to recover. At the sight of small amounts of his blood dripping down his chest, I grew instantly elated. It wasn’t a lot, but I knew I could break through his Hierro as long as I was smart about it. That alone was a victory.

“Fucking bitch,” he spat as he turned a deadly glare toward me. “I’m done playi—!”

This time _I_ caught him off guard. My speed didn’t match his, but that didn’t mean I was slow. Nnoitra had slowed down himself, so it was easy to rush him. Now that it was my turn to grin wildly, I did so. In the same instant, I drove Chi right through the top of his shoulder before he could block my attack. As she sliced through his flesh, she eagerly stole as much of his blood as she could carry.

As I was living in my triumph, I failed to notice Nnoitra charging a cero. In fact, I didn’t see the undeniable glow until I was yanking my left blade free of his shoulder. Nnoitra had stuck out his tongue and the small, golden orb glowed bright. By the time I noticed, I only had a second to react. I was in point blank range. There was no doubt that blast would kill me or put me in a state damn close to death.  

During that less than a second, so many thoughts rushed through my mind. It felt as though time had slowed exponentially. My first thought was anger. I didn’t want him to do away with me so easily. It was unfair, childish even. The next was sadness. It was regret because I was not ready to die. After that was heart stopping horror. I feared death. I feared the fiery pain that the cero blast would cause. I feared leaving the world with nothing and being remembered by no one. Last was panic. My veins ran alight with panic as though I could avoid it.

But then I remembered _I **could**_.

“Seikatsu!!” I screamed for my life as Nnoitra fired his cero.

The blinding golden light of the essential doom blast shined for several seconds on the battlefield. As it faded, the cover of the energy was replaced by that of large clouds of dust. Even Nnoitra seemed to have difficulty seeing through it. But I was not dead.

Thankfully, in just enough time to save my life, a brilliant purple shield had appeared and took seventy percent of the blast for me. Although it was able to block that much, the force still sent me flying backward. It was my body that had kicked up the dust as I tumbled head over heels for quite the distance. My shield followed me the whole way.

As I climbed to my feet, the dust settled. My injuries became obvious to everyone. But so did the fact that I had survived such an attack from such close range. The last remnants of my broken shield began to crack and crumble away. My breathing was heavy. Burns lined my arms and much of my upper body. The rest was scratched up or bruised from my tumble.

“Thank you,” I managed between breaths. There was a comforting feeling of warm hands on my shoulders before the shield disappeared and materialized again as my twin blades.

Nnoitra’s expression would have made me laugh if it weren’t for my injuries. My limbs shook from adrenaline as I watched him. His one eye was as wide as it could be. He also wore a deep scowl that bared his teeth. But, when he opened his mouth, it wasn’t his voice that rang out, but Aizen’s.

“How clever,” he remarked, “such a substantial means of defense. With very little build up time, I see. Ah, but do tell me, does that pose the same affects as your healing?”

I didn’t look at him. My adrenaline was already fading. The pain I could feel as a result was excruciating. It was a wonder I was still on my feet. Any longer and I was certain I would collapse.

“Yes,” I finally said between heavy breaths. Not that I had known before calling out to her of course. It was the first time I had. In that instance I learned three facts. One, there was little or no delay for Seikatsu to put up her shield. Two, because there was no delay, it increased my own reiatsu spent. Three, the more time before I needed the shield, the better the protection and less energy spent.

For that instance, there was only a moment to react. That’s why I was left alive, but in a severe condition. Thankfully, Chi had plenty of Nnoitra’s blood stored in her reservoir.

“I assumed as much,” Aizen said with a smug grin. I snorted, but nothing more. As I felt myself grow weaker as the pain grew stronger, I turned pleading eyes to my left blade.

“Chi,” I whispered, “can I handle it?”

_Yes. But only this one. I can bring you back to a hundred percent with this, but any other healing, or if you call her out again, you won’t have enough energy to fight._

“Then don’t put me at a hundred. I don’t need to be perfect, just nimble enough to fight. I need at least one more chance to call on her. That cero is dangerous,” my focus on my opponent, who stood quite far from me thanks to the distance I’d traveled from the blast, never faltered.

_As you wish._

“Revive,” I called, voice louder this time. If at all possible, Nnoitra’s scowl only deepened as my wounds began to fade. His anger radiated. As I requested, Chi only healed me enough to be able to continue the fight. My pain didn’t disappear, but it was certainly numbed.

“Tamashi,” I started again as Nnoitra continued to gawk in his outrage. “If you can, I need a boost. Even just a bit will do.”

_Of course._

“Alright, I’ve had it!” Nnoitra snarled. “You ain’t the only one that can heal, damn bitch!” As he shouted at me, Nnoitra raised his zanpakuto into the air high above his head. Suddenly, his reiatsu output exploded. The golden aura of it was visible as it affected the air all around. The strength of it threatened to knock me over.

“Pray, Santa Theresa!” He called. The explosion doubled, sending sand in a flurry all around. I shielded my face with my arms. The reiatsu I could feel radiating from him nearly tripled.

As the dust settled, Nnoitra was back in view. His transformation changed his appearance to a degree. His hair was longer. There was bone atop his head like a crown that resembled a crescent moon. He’d even grown a second set of arms. In each bone covered hand was a terrifying scythe. All of the wounds I had inflicted were healed, too. And he was grinning again.

“Fuck!”


	25. Twenty-five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOHHHH DOUBLE UPDATE

“Make a fucking _plan!_ ” I urged myself under my breath. Just then I was hiding in a rather large pile of rubble; my reiatsu dimmed as much as I could manage to conceal my exact location. Nnoitra, in one of his many attacks post-resurreccion had demolished one of the red pillars. Somehow, I managed to stay underneath it while only having a few bruises. That’s not to say I was uninjured, though.

Like his reiatsu, Nnoitra’s speed and force had also tripled. I quickly realized that I could not evade his attacks anymore. As I sat up more, a cut in my side sent a sharp pain through my entire upper body. I winced.

_I still have his blood._

“No, Chi, I’m fine,” I pressed. It wasn’t the first time she had offered another healing. I couldn’t risk losing my energy, especially considering I hadn’t had my boost yet. We weren’t able to move in close enough for Tamashi to steal away even a bit of that power. “Shit,” I added as I could come up with no plan. Suddenly, I had to duck as a loud crashing sent the rubble shifting and tumbling around.

“Come out of there, dammit!” Came Nnoitra’s bloodthirsty snarl, “I know I haven’t killed you yet!” Another crash. It was as though he was attacking the rubble to find me. A loose rock shifted and knocked me on the head. I stifled my groan as blood dripped into my right eye.

“Fucking shit,” I squeaked, “anymore of this and I’ll end up losing!”

_We’re going to have to do it._

“What? Do what?” Another crash. More shifting rubble. The artificial light was beginning to shine through.

_Bankai._

“Bankai?! But I don’t know how to use—!”

_Just do it!_

“Fine! I’ll just crush you while you hide like a coward! I _will_ be the one to finally put an end to you!” Nnoitra roared before more of the rubble went flying. A hole opened up and gave me an opportunity to leap out. I took that chance to put a bit of distance between the two of us. Nnoitra saw me anyway. “Finally grow some fucking balls?” I didn’t respond. Instead, summoning up my determination to win, I crossed my blades in front of my chest; arms outstretched.

“Bankai!!”

My power exploded around me just as Nnoitra’s had. My hair whipped around and my reiatsu glowed a beautiful golden hue all around my body. As it did so, there was an unmistakable change. From deep in my chest I felt and heard a distinct crack. My reiatsu blazed even brighter as a result.

_The seal is breaking!_

“Nijū-jū1 Chi and Tamashi,” I called the name. Within moments, my Bankai was ready. Chi and Tamashi emerged as proud wolves, standing before me and snarling. Their blades were reduced to a single, wide band on each of my wrists. It was their connection to me and my means of controlling them.

The sleeves on the clothes I was given had disappeared all the way up to my shoulders. I figured if I was wearing my shihakusho, the sleeves would have gone as well. The tattoo on my upper arm, normally two thick, black stripes, flowed with each of the colors of my zanpakuto. The glow was bright and vivid. Chi and Tamashi’s snarls had calmed to soft growling as I looked to them.

_You know how to use us._

“Wait,” I gasped as I began to realize. The way everything felt in Bankai; the way my girls looked. It was so incredibly similar to my resurreccion when I was an arrancar. “How did you—?” I tried again in awe. They quickly shut me up.

_Listen carefully. There are one or two significant differences about this ability compared to the past. But even so, you know the basics already. Take this time to learn and adapt. Try it. Quickly!_

As they spoke, I noticed Nnoitra had taken in my Bankai, watched me stand there, and decided I was still something he could crush. His intense speed brought him barreling toward me. But this time, I had reflexes to react. As he zoomed toward me, I grinned and swung my left arm in his direction. With a snarl of approval, Chi leaped at him, sharpened teeth bared. Her growl was loud and predatory as she tore into his upper leg.

Nnoitra cried out, more by way of surprise. Then he swung one of the scythes at her. Her yelp rang out on our battlefield as the strike sent her to the sandy ground. A sharp twinge of pain alighted in my chest where her wound was. I wasn’t injured, but I felt her agony. Her color visibly faded and her band around my arm also lost some of its shine.

_When the glow is gone, and your tattoo returns to black, I will disappear._

Chi returned to her paws as she spoke to only me. Her fierce growling resumed, and she turned her one-eyed glare to Nnoitra. Tamashi stomped the ground with her front paw in anger as she stood protectively over me.

“Can I—?”

_Do it!_

I was asking about an attack I knew from my arrancar abilities. There was no doubt it would be different, but I still wanted to try. From what I remembered; it was powerful. But, while I was distracted with my recollections and preparations, Nnoitra exploited my obvious opening. As I brought my hands together tightly, he appeared behind me via sonido.

A gasp escaped my lungs in the same moment. Following my hands, Chi and Tamashi bolted toward each other as fast as they could. In my mind I screamed for blue as I felt one of Nnoitra’s blades slice through my back. The force of the blow brought me off the ground, but I wasn’t going to give in after one solid strike. In the same motion as I was still being lifted from the attack, I swung my clasped hands up and over my head; knuckles aimed at Nnoitra directly behind me.

A now giant version of Tamashi, with a glowing red left eye and her normal right, launched herself over my head. Deep from her chest came a wild combination of a growl and snarling that almost sounded like a predatory roar. As I collapsed to my knees, she landed on Nnoitra and sent him to the ground. I was in awe both at the sound of her tearing into him, as well as what they had done. When I was an arrancar, if I directed then with both of my hands they attacked in sync. This time, they combined: Chi gave herself to Tamashi so they could become one and double their offensive power.

My hands fell away from each other as I brought myself back to my feet. I could feel blood seeping down my back from the large wound. It was already a struggle to remain standing. Turning, I watched Tamashi move away from my opponent and howl her success. Nnoitra’s blood dripped from her muzzle; it was stained dark. But he was not defeated. Much like I did, Nnoitra brought himself back to his feet. Absolute, seething rage radiated from him.

“You fucking bitch, those mutts ain’t gonna help you fucking win!” He spat. As he said that, my girls split. Chi was fully transparent and Tamashi had lost a bit of her glow too. “They’re gonna disappear, ain’t they! Good, then you’re fucking done!!”

“Shit,” I breathed as Chi flickered. She probably only had one attack left before her strip was solid black again. She would definitely return to me and I would be left with low offensive power. If I wanted to win, my next two attacks needed to be powerful. They were my last two. “Fuck, what do I do?”

_Don’t think. You’ll panic and make mistakes. Using us defensively does not deplete like offensively does unless we are injured. Be careful and sort something out._

As their warning came, so did Nnoitra. Even after suffering the injuries Tamashi had inflicted while doubled, his speed hadn’t slowed at all. Quickly, I crossed my arms protectively over my face and braced my feet. Chi and Tamashi jumped up in response and blocked all four of his blades. As they did, they snapped at him with bared teeth. Still, he was dangerously close to me for me having ranged attacks. He pushed closer still, pushing my girls back as they struggled and snapped on their hind legs.

I could feel the strain in the muscles of my own legs. They trembled with the effort. Then, just like that. His pushing force was gone. Nnoitra was behind me again, but he didn’t stay there. Chi and Tamashi had leaped over me together, following my mental instructions, but he was too fast. He appeared in front of me again. Somehow, I managed to block his blades with the wide cuffs that Chi and Tamashi were attached to. I was ready to call them forward again, but was stopped.

A new arm, with a new hand, was plunged deep into the left side of my abdomen. Pain and an overwhelming sense of déjà vu erupted through me. _Not again!_ My gasp of surprise was accompanied by a small, choked cough and blood. Although his frustration was still apparent, Nnoitra’s wide grin was visible again. And another hand impaled the right side, as if to match.

“Red…!” Was my choked cry at the second impact. While he was lost in his success, I had managed to clasp my hands together again. This time, per my instructions, it was a much larger Chi that sank her fangs into Nnoitra. Her glowing, blue right eye signified Tamashi’s assistance. Chi managed to do more damage to him before he threw her away with his other three arms and a growl of frustration. Then, as he tried to yank the hands inside me free, he ended up lifting me from the ground because my flesh caught on his bone covered limbs.

Nnoitra threw me as well, in the same action. Chi and I soared through the air in different directions. I smashed back first into a nearby pillar that hadn’t been destroyed yet. The force of impact pinned me to it. As I landed, so did Chi; quite a distance from me and onto the ground. At impact, she and Tamashi split. Then, Chi immediately disappeared. I didn’t have time to be upset though: Nnoitra had ignored my wolves and come straight after me.

Two of his bone covered hands found my throat.

“Tamash—augh!” His already intense grip tightened as I tried to call for help. It threatened to crush my throat with no remorse. My hands flew to tear at his wrists, but the bone that covered them didn’t give. Still, I tried anyway; breaking nails and rubbing my fingers so raw they bled. Tamashi tore at him as best she could to try and reach me, but Nnoitra only ignored her. At the same time, panic was sinking in. With each passing moment it was harder and harder to stay conscious. I couldn’t breathe. Tears were falling as my panic only increased.

_I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die!_

In an attempt to push him away, I began to summon all the reiatsu I had left. Then, I blazed it around me. If I wasn’t being suffocated, I would have let out a war cry for my life. My power engulfed the both of us and still I pushed it as much as I could.

There was another distinct cracking sound from within my chest.

Another wave of power rushed through me. My blaze instantly doubled as more of the hogyoku’s power trickled through the cracks in the seal. It was enough to bring Chi back. The bands on my arm glowed brightly as they lashed out against my opponent in desperation. Nnoitra’s triumphant looks faltered only slightly; he couldn’t ignore them any longer. But his grip held firm.

Chi and Tamashi viciously tore into him, but his focus remained on me. My fingers were cracking through the bone on his arms in an attempt to free myself. I was fighting desperately to be free. I could see Nnoitra’s own panic building in his eye. But I was quickly realizing a horrifying fact.

The cracks in the seal were not enough.

Although I could feel the hogyoku wanting to grant my desire, I did not yet possess the strength necessary to break the seal. I was close, _so close_. But it was not enough. My strength, even though it was exploding only a moment ago, was fading rapidly. My extreme blood loss, lack of oxygen, and other injuries were too much. My blaze faded.

Chi and Tamashi howled their fear for me before they faded too. The cuffs around my wrists returned to blades and clattered onto the ground. _This is it_. I was losing hope. A Shinigami Bankai disappearing against their will was a sign of imminent death. _It’s over._

The strength in my arms faded. My hands began to fall limp as he continued to constrict my neck. My wounds burned as though set aflame, but even that sensation was fading. _I don’t… I don’t want to die…!_

As the rest of my body fell limp against the pillar, everything around me faded to black.

1Roughly: Double Beast


	26. Twenty-six

It was a sea, I think.

 

 

 

Or, maybe not. But I felt like I was floating. Like I was adrift in cool, surrounding water. It engulfed me completely, yet I was sure I was breathing.

 

 

 

My thoughts faded in and out. Or, perhaps, it was my own consciousness that came and went. Although my eyes were open, I could not see.

 

 

 

_This is death?_

 

 

 

 

Never an answer. My spouts of thought were small and far in between.

 

 

 

 

_Will I truly be reincarnated this time?_

 

 

There were no voices from before. The companionship I looked for ceased to exist. All I could do was float. Not even my limbs— _are there limbs?_ They would not move.

 

 

 

 

 

Eternity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Was that the expanse?_

 

 

 

A sea. Water. Floating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Light._

“Light?” My own voice startled me. It sounded distorted and distant, as though I was speaking through water, but it was mine just the same.

There _was_ light. Just a small pin prick in the vast darkness. If I were truly floating in a sea, I was on my back and the light was directly above me. It was beckoning. As if it called for me and me alone.

_A promise of new life?_

It was a possibility. The light grew, as if to agree. It expanded from pin prick to the width of a coin. Then to a disc. Further and further it stretched. As it did so, its intensity also increased. I longed to reach toward it. My limbs still would not move.

There was no need. The light came for me.

Brighter and brighter until it was blinding. I felt no need to close or shield my eyes, however. The darkness was no longer there; the light had engulfed it. And just like that, I felt like I was being whisked away.

 

 

 

My eyelids, heavy as though weighed down, lifted extremely slowly. Nothing in my line of sight came in to focus. Simply a flurry of blurred colors and shapes. In an attempt to fix it, I blinked; slow and steady. At my right was a distant sound of shuffling and hurried footsteps. It was muffled as though my ears were blocked.

_Am I another human baby? Doesn’t seem so, because I can think… And the memories._

I quickly realized I was unable to move. Everything below my shoulders was numb. Although I willed them with all my might, I couldn’t move my arms or legs. My fingers and toes wouldn’t budge either. And yet, I couldn’t panic. I felt awake and exhausted at the same time. Another slow blink.

More shuffling and hurried footsteps began to sound. It was followed by voices that I could not understand. They sounded like they were trying to shout to me through gallons of water. Their words were lost to my ears. New shapes jumped in and out of my vision, but I still had no clear sight. Then, something cupped my cheeks.

It felt like cool, gentle hands.

The feeling was so comforting I could have cried. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. The hands retreated and a new color came into sight. Along with the color was another sound. It was distant clicking. The sound was unpleasant; I squeezed my eyes shut as it continued. One awful click on left, another on the right. They continued, one by one.

Slowly, the sound began to shift. It was still quite unpleasant, but it sounded sharper. More distinct. After what was probably only a couple of minutes, I began to realize the sound was snapping. Whoever, or whatever, the new color had been was snapping their fingers next to my ears. It was a stimulant. Hesitantly, I began to open my eyes again. As I did so, the snapping faded. Once again, the comforting hands were on my face.

“She should be able to hear a bit more distinctly now,” the voice that I assumed belonged to the snapper sounded awfully distorted, but at least I could understand the words. Somehow, distorted as it was, that voice seemed almost familiar. The thumb against my right cheek began to stroke it softly. It was soothing. My eyelids began to close again.

“Kaiya,” pleaded a new voice. My eyes snapped right back open. _That one is familiar too._ It was likely the one who held my face in those gentle hands. “Kaiya,” it repeated, softer this time. Because of the odd sound, I could not tell if it was male or female. But the hands did feel rather masculine. Thin, too.

_And just as familiar_.

“Hnhh,” I tried to speak but no sound came. All I accomplished was a deep exhale. One of the hands moved. The slender fingers ran through my hair, slow and reassuring.

“Shh, don’t speak,” the voice I couldn’t place told me. “It’s okay,” more reassurance. I just wished my vision would return. “She can’t see, can she?” That was directed at the snapper, I was certain.

“Not quite. Try helping her with that, why don’t you? She needs to practice shifting focus before her vision will improve. Hold a finger or two up for her. Watch her eyes, you will be able to see if she is focused on your fingers or what lies behind them. She will have to switch back and forth quite a few times to adjust. Then she should be alright,” came snapper’s explanation.

“Hear that?” I decided to refer to this one as reassurance. “Go on,” two shapes I assumed was reassurance’s fingers came into sight. Knowing they were only trying to help, I decided to do as they instructed. Drawing on all of the concentration I could muster, I tried my hardest to bring them into focus. After several seconds, the blurriness faded. The slender fingers came perfectly into view. I gasped in excitement. “Now shift!” my next instructions.

With another deep exhale, I closed and reopened my eyes. Then, I aimed to bring what was behind the fingers into focus. It took another several seconds before I did it. It looked like some form of ceiling. The lights I could see were dimmed so low they were practically off. Then, without needing to be told, I did my best to switch between them. At first, I closed and reopened my eyes with each switch. Then, I attempted to do it without the extra step. Another several minutes passed before my vision had improved greatly. Although there was still a bit of fuzziness, I could finally see.

“How is it?” That was snapper. When I noticed I could see, I closed my eyes again to rest them. The exercise, though helpful, was also straining. Another exhale, then I opened them once more.

Fear shot through me as Gin and Szayel came into fuzzy view. My eyes were wide, and I made sounds of distress. Although I tried, I still could not move at all. But I did not want to be anywhere near them. If they were there, it meant I hadn’t died. I didn’t know why I was still alive after my loss, but I did not want to be in their presence. Especially not Szayel. I continued with my sounds of distress before squeezing my eyes shut. If I could have moved, I would have crossed my arms over my face defensively.

“Wait, what’s wrong with her?” Gin sounded more than concerned. That was a surprise. “Why is she reactin’ like that?” Gin resumed running his hands through my hair. “Kaiya, it’s me,” he tried, sadness in his voice. My hearing was still improving. I was shocked to hear what I did. Slowly, I peeked an eye open.

Gin’s were open too. They were filled with a mixture of sadness and relief. But they weren’t the eyes I’d come to know and fear. Those eyes didn’t hold secrets or intimidation. I could see tears in them too.

“What…?” my eyes were wide again and still my voice was gone. Only air escaped my lungs as I tried to speak. It seemed he could read my lips though.

“It’s me,” he repeated, lowering himself. Gently, he rested his forehead against my own, closing his eyes slowly. “Yer’ finally awake,” he whispered in joy as I felt his tears fall onto my face. Tears of my own were building as my heart began to sting.

_Oh, I get it. I have some kind of brain damage and I’m hallucinating._

Still, everything felt so warm and welcoming. Rather than dismiss it and wait for it to end, I decided I would roll with it. Even so, there was something that felt extremely different about the entire situation I found myself in. Especially the fact that I was actually alive. _Oh well_. Gin lifted himself away from me again. Making my heart swell, he gave me the most joy filled smile I had ever seen from him.

“I thought I’d lost ya’,” his voice broke as he wiped away tears. More took their place. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in all my life.”

“What,” I tried, then clenched my jaw in frustration that there was still no sound.

“Let’s try giving her some water to drink on her own,” Szayel suggested. I shifted my gaze and was shocked to see him concerned too. Even though I was hallucinating, it didn’t make sense that he would be concerned for me in the least. _So, why?_  I couldn’t even make myself nod in agreement. A sound of frustration came from me. Gin, who decided Szayel was right, stood and left, then quickly returned with a glass of water. Szayel took it from him as he sat beside me.

With gentle movements, Gin tucked his hands beneath me at my shoulders. Then, he lifted my limp body. I bent at my waist like normal, but everything felt incredibly numb. I did not enjoy the sensation. Gin leaned me against him so my head wouldn’t fall forward. Shifting so he could free one arm, I was supported in his left. His right took the glass back and held it for me. Slowly, he tilted it at my lips and I gratefully took in several mouthfuls of water. It was so refreshing I thought I would melt. To my own shock, I downed the glass without stopping. Once empty, Gin removed the glass and I exhaled in deep satisfaction.

“Try again,” Szayel instructed.

“What’s going on?” I tried. My voice sounded horrendous and it wasn’t louder than a whisper. Still, there was sound, so it was a start. “He said I wouldn’t be saved, so why am I alive?” I spoke slowly, voice coarse. “I lost, so I die, right? Why did that fucker save me?” With each word I said, I watched their expressions shift to confusion.

“What are ya’ talkin’ about?” Gin asked slowly. I wished I could shake my head. I only managed a very slight movement. “Who said that?”

“Nnoitra and I were fighting, that stupid duel that Aizen…” I trailed off as I glanced around. The typical gray walls and Las Noches’ furnishings were what I expected to see. Instead, there were windows with actual sunlight coming through them. Beige carpet on the floor and white walls all around us. The whole space, a bedroom it seemed, screamed _World of the Living_. “What...?” I gawked as I continued to glance around as much as I could.

“What are ya’ sayin’, Kaiya?” Gin looked bewildered. “Nnoitra? A fight? Yer’ not makin’ any sense! Don’t’cha remember? We were takin’ a walk and…” he stopped as his voice began to break again. “And somethin’ happened and we had ta’…ya’ were slippin’ away an’ I thought I’d lost ya’,” his voice grew softer and more pained.

“No, that’s not…” I tried. “I swear I was just—!”

Then it clicked. Everything he was saying, the way the two of them looked at me, why I felt different, too. It all made sense. I began to break down.

“I’m dreaming again, aren’t I?” I cried. “This is another dream just like the last ones, it’s gonna’ go away!” Sobs began. “I’ll be right back in that hell!” Gin’s grip around me tightened.

“No, no, yer’ not dreamin’! We’ve been waitin’ all this time for ya’ ta’ finally wake up,” he tried to explain through my hysterics. “Kai-chan, please don’t cry,” he sighed into my shoulder. “We’ve been waitin’ so long…”

“What do you mean?” I asked as my voice cracked. “What are you talking about? How is this not a dream? It has to be, they always were! I was taken away and I—!”

“Kaiya,” It was Szayel this time, “I think you should calm down. I’m sure this is disorienting, but you shouldn’t overexcite yourself. You have a long process of rehabilitation ahead of you.”

“What’s going on?” I huffed in defeat.

“Kai-chan,” Gin murmured as he ran his fingers through my hair again. Then, he pulled me into his chest.

“Ya’ve been in a coma for four years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Yes, the large gaps at the beginning were intentional lmao)


	27. Twenty-seven

What Gin had told me was instantly overwhelming. In fact, it was so overwhelming it must have made me faint. At least, that was the conclusion I came to when I woke up alone and the sunlight was gone. The quiet wasn’t eerie like Las Noches, though. It was calm; serene. I decided it would be good to try and move my muscles. Starting small of course, with my fingers and toes.

Everything felt numb. It was awkward, but I tried my hardest to concentrate. In my head I repeated a command over and over. _Just wiggle your fingers._ I spent several minutes doing an exercise similar to what they did for my eyes. But after some time and no success, my frustration won, and I quit.

Somehow, I could roll my head. It was probably the only movement I had. I could move it left and right with little difficulty. To my left was a wall. The bed was tucked nicely against it. At the right was the rest of the room and the doorway. Standing in it was a familiar face I did not expect to see. She wore an expression of sadness and concern. Then, as she noticed me gawking at her, she shifted it to her classic, mocking grin.

“Apacci,” I breathed in my surprise.

“You look like shit,” she said with the same grin. Then, she stepped into the room and stood by my side. “They,” she cleared her throat, “ _we_ were worried you might have lapsed back into your coma, so we’ve been checking in periodically.” I never thought I could be so happy to see her. The two of us had become unlikely friends.

“Was it really as long as he said?” I asked quietly. “This is real? I’m not dreaming again?” Apacci only shook her head.

“They told me I’m not allowed to explain anything. They don’t want you to be too overwhelmed, so they decided to take it slow. Now that you’re awake, they want to start your rehabilitation,” she responded. “Maybe then you won’t look like hell,” she added with a laugh. I smirked at her comment. Forgetting momentarily that I was basically paralyzed, I tried to lift my arm and reach to clasp her hand. When I couldn’t, I growled in frustration.

“This fucking sucks,” I sighed. She laughed.

“Be patient. Pink boy managed to keep you alive, I’m sure he can get you moving again!” As she mentioned him, he came through the doorway.

“Excellent,” he remarked, likely at my wakefulness. “How much of your body can you actually feel?” I couldn’t even manage to shrug as an answer.

“Everything feels numb and I can’t figure out how to get my muscles to contract. I think earlier I managed to twitch my pinky finger but that was it. I was hoping it would be as easy as my eyes and ears,” I told him. He nodded as I spoke.

“I expected as much. There is no other possibility than paralysis after such a long time. I figured with you being the stubborn, hot headed girl you are, you would wake up like that,” he snapped to emphasize his point, “but I was mistaken it seems.” Then he shrugged. “Ah well, I’m sure it will take just a bit of stimulus to get you back on your feet. Stimulus and hard work of course.” His use of the word stimulus sent me rocketing back into a horrifying flashback. I visibly flinched. “What?”

“It’s nothing,” I responded as I shook my head. _Don’t think about it._ Despite the warning, the pain and torment I felt during those days surfaced. The thoughts were haunting. I could still feel it clearly.

“I just need to confirm one small suspicion before we begin your rehabilitation,” Szayel mused as I was lost in the painful recollections. He took steps toward me; Apacci moved aside. In the same motion, he removed what resembled a pen from his pocket and brought it downward with quite the speed at the top of my right thigh. The point of it broke through my skin and I cried out both in pain and surprise.

“What the hell!” I called as he retracted it.

“Perfect, your pain receptors, and by association your nervous system, is functioning properly. Now I have no doubt that you will once again be on your feet after some hard work!” He clapped his gloved hands together as he grinned. “Let’s begin, shall we? Start slow, just your arms, how does that sound?” He asked, leaning toward me eagerly.

“Whatever you want as long as I’m not stuck in this bed anymore,” I agreed. 

“Excellent!” Szayel disappeared outside the doorway for a moment, then returned, pushing in a wheelchair. “It will be easier for you if you are sitting up. Apacci, if you would be so kind, please help me sit her here,” Apacci nodded without speaking. After Szayel positioned the chair, the two of them lifted me. My limp body felt awkward as they did so. With some effort, they sat me in the chair.

My back rested against it in such a way that I would not lean forward and fall off by mistake. Szayel placed my feet on the appropriate rests. Although it wasn’t anyone’s fault, I was growing more and more frustrated at my own powerlessness. Being unable to move was awful.

“Sorry,” I spat my frustration.

“Don’t apologize, just prepare yourself for a hell of a lot of work,” Szayel laughed. It did help to know that they weren’t bothered by it. Although I probably could expect as much from Szayel. Once I was situated, he took my right hand into both of his. Using the pressure points, he began to forcefully flex the muscles in my hand. Different fingers responded. “Pay close attention to the feeling this creates. You _can_ feel it, can’t you?”

“Yeah,” I breathed as I focused on the feeling he created in the muscles. It was different than what I was doing before. It felt more natural and like it had a much better impact. Less strenuous as well.

Szayel moved in a distinct pattern. First my palm, bending and flexing it in the natural ways. As he did so, some of the numbness faded. This allowed me to feel the contracting muscles even better. I memorized them. Then he moved to my fingers, stimulating each of them individually. It yielded similar results. And then he repeated the process.

Before I knew it, an entire hour had passed. Szayel had remained on the same hand for the entire duration. He explained that repetition was extremely important to rebuild muscle memory. He wanted to make the motion as second nature as possible for me.

“Go ahead and try it on your own,” he finally instructed me. At the same time, he rested my hand—palm up—against my leg. “Move your hand exactly as I did.”

“Right,” I said with slight uncertainty. There was still some lingering numbness in my hand.

“It’s okay if you are unable,” he added, “this isn’t exactly some kind of miracle fix.”

“I know,” I sighed. “I know.” Then, I focused my attention at my hand. The motion, the feeling, was clear in my mind. I just had to do it. But, for several moments, nothing happened, despite my efforts. My jaw was tensed as I tried.

“Hm,” pondered Szayel. He reached for my hand.

“Wait,” I urged. My jaw clenched with effort. Then, each digit trembling and quaking, I managed to move. It was painstakingly slow, but each of my fingers and my thumb began to bend toward the center of my hand. In a few short minutes, I held a trembling fist above my leg. The shaking was near violent, and yet I gawked at what I had done. By the look on his face, even Szayel was impressed.

“Alright, relax now, before you overdo it,” he warned as I held my hand there in that position. “You can try pointing individual fingers after a short rest.”

And I did.

After the short rest, I began practicing as much as I could. At one point, Szayel explained an area on the upper portion of my forearm was also working to flex my hand and fingers. After his explanation, I noticed the feeling of it tense and release as I flexed my fingers. Even with all the practice, my hand still shook, though. The effort of it was exhausting.

“Let’s move on to the left,” Szayel offered after a time. I gave a short nod and relaxed my hand. A deep exhale also fled my lungs. Just as he had the first, Szayel began to stimulate my left hand. While I was working on my right, he had pulled up a chair to sit in front of me.

“This really is going to take a long time,” I pouted.

“You’re taking to it far better than I thought,” Szayel admitted. “Perhaps it won’t take nearly as long as I first estimated. Even so, it will still be a lot of work.”

“Yeah, obviously,” I managed to laugh. _This is so strange._

Some time of silence passed. At one point, Apacci excused herself. She did say she would be back later. I figured watching me try and make fists all day wasn’t exactly entertaining. I couldn’t blame her.

“I am surprised,” Szayel said out of nowhere. He glanced at me for a moment, as if to gauge my reaction, then returned his focus to my hands. “Surprised that you have yet to ask about your lover,” he continued casually, “or the boy.”

His words hung in the air. I was frozen as they echoed in my mind endlessly. Gin had been there when I woke up the first time, but where was he now? I had woken up alone. Even Apacci didn’t appear until several minutes after the fact. But something bigger tugged at me.

_The boy._

It echoed.

**_My_ ** _boy._

It clicked.

_My baby was crying._

_“Kaiya, look, look at our beautiful son,”_

_As I gazed at my son my eyes glazed with more tears that shed. I couldn’t control my joyful sobbing as his crying slowly began to cease. Peace overtook his tiny features. Finally, he relaxed and slowly fell asleep in my arms. Gently, I placed a loving kiss against his forehead._

_“He’s beautiful,”_

“Akai!” I cried out suddenly. “Where is he, where is my son!”

Szayel didn’t answer me. Instead, he gawked at me wide eyed. Somehow, I’d managed to shock him into awe.

“How are you—?” He tried and trailed off.

“What?” I asked, voice quiet, as I lowered my attention to his shoulders.

Both of my hands gripped his shoulders tightly. My arms were lifted to reach where he sat before me. They weren’t even shaking. My own eyes widened in surprise.

“It must be adrenaline,” Szayel inferred, composing himself. “This is good, it’ll be easier this way, so don’t let go of it!”

“U-uh, okay!” I said in uncertainty. Szayel lifted his arms and took mine.

“Keep moving them any way you can, quickly, before it fades,” he instructed.

The exercises changed then. They were quicker and less thorough because I had use of my arms. The feelings were even easier to detect and memorize. But, unfortunately, my adrenaline began to fade. The difficulty increased and my arms began to shake.

But I didn’t lose the mobility.

It took an insane amount of effort, but my arms were no longer limp. I could move them. We had made a breakthrough. Szayel looked pleased with himself as he smirked at me.

“I didn’t expect your panic to yield results like this,” he explained in a laugh. “He is perfectly fine, don’t worry,” he added. That small statement was relieving. Still, I wanted to see him.

“Where is he?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about that now, Gin is with him. You need to keep working,” his voice was firm. “Besides, why would I bring your son here when you can hardly move? That would be a whole new kind of torture, not being able to embrace him after all this time.” Szayel was right. It pained me, but it would be so much worse if I couldn’t hold my son.

“Where is _here_?” I decided to focus on other questions that came in a flurry. “Where are we?”

“This is the living world, as I’m sure you have guessed. We and a few others are staying here. Somehow, we have been granted protection in exchange for our cooperation. But I’ll let your lover explain everything when it’s time,” Szayel told me. “Interesting to have a rising and setting sun, isn’t it?” He asked as he gestured to the windows. So much time had passed that the darkness had become the bright of a new morning.

“When can I know everything? Apacci said you guys were worried about overwhelming me again,” I said. Szayel shook his head.

“I’m not worried about that anymore; you clearly won’t fall victim to it again. I think before you were still mostly sleeping. But I figured you’d want to hear it from him, not me. After all, it was his quick planning and action that saved you and granted us our protection,” he explained. “But enough of that. If you want to hold your son, I suggest you practice this next exercise thoroughly!”

Szayel left and returned with a box. It was empty. If I were standing, it was only tall enough to reach just above mid-calf. Its width was equal to its height. He placed it in my hands.

“I want you to hold this without dropping it. We’ll start with twenty minutes. If your arms become over exerted, tell me immediately. This way we can calculate when you will be able to hold your son without any potential danger to him. Understand?”

“His name is Akai,” my irritated look was clearly forced as I tried to jab at him.

“Not very original,” he scoffed.

“I think it’s cute!” I snapped back. We shared a laugh.

“I know his name, stupid girl,” Szayel said, shaking his head and chuckling. “Don’t forget how long it’s been! I don’t have the slightest idea why, but aside from you and his father, I’m his favorite.” That made me smile warmly. “Of course, he is quite fond of all of us.”

“I’m glad,” I said as I imagined him having fun with Szayel and Apacci. It made me wonder who else was with us. But it was probably another explanation saved for Gin to give me. Instead, I had a different nagging question.

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

“You just did,” he said nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes.

“Not what I meant, smartass,” I scoffed. He laughed.

“What is it?” The box slipped from my hands. “Come now, it’s barely been eight minutes!” Szayel reached for it, then stopped when he saw me staring deep into his eyes.

“Are you sure this isn’t a dream? It’s happened before,” I said softly. It was so quiet I was surprised he actually heard me. But he didn’t respond. Instead, he watched me closely. Then, his pen was in his hand again. I thought maybe he was going to write down my progress.

Then he thumped the end of it right in the center of my forehead.

“Ow!” I snapped. “Why did you do that!” I could already feel the mark beginning to form.

“Still think you’re dreaming?” He asked as he smirked at me. “I mean, just consider all that we have done today. Do you really think you would dream something like this? It’s far too complex for that! Especially pain from a simple tap from a pen. Pain in dreams in general is extremely uncommon and most of the time attributed to an experience in your past that your subconscious brings forward. Tell me why you think you’re dreaming?”

“I,” I tried, turning my attention to my empty hands in my lap. “If this isn’t a dream, then everything that happened to me before I woke up _was_ , right?”

“Given that I spent _hours_ resuscitating you and bringing you back to a stable state after that chaos, not to mention everything we have _all_ gone through since then to make it to this point, I am inclined to say _yes._ It certainly had to be,” Szayel sounded like he had gone through hell and back for me. Or perhaps it was for everyone included in the “us” he kept speaking about. Still, it was hard to believe. Everything still felt so real.

“I don’t see how that could have all been a dream,” I said quietly. “Like you said, could I possibly dream something like all of _that?_ ” Unfortunately, I still believed everything I saw could melt away. Likely to Gin’s sinister grin as it had before. Or worse, the Szayel that took great pleasure in my torture.

“Why don’t you tell me about it, then?” he asked as he leaned closer to me. “I would love to analyze it! More insight to the unconscious mind, especially for such a long term!” _Seems I went and excited him_. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Maybe another time. It still feels much too real, too _close_ to talk about it so casually like that,” I admitted. “Feels like I could slip right back at any moment.”

“Not even just a preview? A mere morsel for me to dissect?” Closer he leaned, desperate for even a taste of my experience during my coma. As I contemplated it, Szayel returned the box to my hands. “Don’t forget your practice,” he warned as he watched me closely. Slowly, I let out a breath.

“Well, I,” I started, voice even softer than before, “I _died_. But I also didn’t. I was basically reincarnated; can you believe that? Hell, maybe it was a dream after all. But in that life, I was a Shinigami. And I—I just—!” I felt sick thinking about it. _Everything I went through, could it have all been a dream?_ My arms began to shake again as I felt my face pale. Szayel had been watching me with big, shining eyes, but they quickly shifted to concern.

“Maybe we should take another break,” he offered, reaching for the box.

“No,” I cut in, shaking my head. “I need to do this. But please, let’s talk about something else.”   

I don’t think I had ever seen Szayel drop a subject so quickly. The contrast between the one I knew well and the one of my nightmares—although I was still unsure—was so starkly different. Following my request, he began to talk about his recent studies, as well as his process of monitoring me while I slept. It was interesting to hear about. Truthfully, it was relaxing.

My arms eventually stopped shaking. Twenty minutes passed easily. So did thirty. Then an hour. Even though my arms still felt strange, and my movements were excruciatingly slow, it seemed I was rapidly gaining control. It was great news for me as my mind kept wandering back to my son. If that nightmare was nothing more than my unconscious mind torturing me, then I had no reason to hang onto it. After all, what I was experiencing was exactly what I had been missing. I had begged to have it back on more than one occasion.

After what was probably another hour, I heard the door open behind me. Szayel had his back turned as well, taking time to document my progress during the day. Thinking it was Apacci, I smiled and continued holding my box. It was above my lap, hovering nicely. It almost didn’t feel like I was exerting myself anymore. Almost.

“Where did you go, Apacci? Sorry it was boring,” I chuckled, without turning my head. When she didn’t answer, I tilted my head. “Something wrong?” When I went to turn my head, a gentle hand landed on my shoulder. It felt familiar and reassuring.

I dropped the box again.

“Kaiya, I thought you were trying to go for as long as—oh,” Szayel had begun to scold me and stopped himself. But I wasn’t looking at him. My eyes were wide as I gazed up at Gin who had stood in front of me. I didn’t know why but seeing him as I did then was so much different than it had been when I first awoke. Perhaps it was because I was still held by my sleep before. So much feeling welled up in my chest. But I didn’t know what to do with it, so it was translated into tears. They spilled down my cheeks as I gawked at him.

“I-Is it…? Is it really you…?” I tried; voice nearly silent. Smiling at me, he lowered himself, so he was even with where I sat. Trembling once more, my arms reached for him. Like before, my movements were agonizingly slow. Gently, he took my right hand and placed it against his cheek.

“It’s me,” he said, his voice just as soft. More of my tears fell. Gin did the same with my left hand, stroking both with his thumbs. “I promise, it’s me,” he repeated. Szayel pulled up another chair and Gin sat, never looking away from me. Letting go of my hands, he pulled my wheelchair as close as he could manage to him.  Then, he pulled me tightly to his chest. “I missed ya’…”

That broke me.

With trembling arms, I clung to him. I became a sobbing mess as I buried myself into him. Gin didn’t tell me not to cry. He didn’t say anything, just held me tight. That was all I needed. Gin told the truth; it _was_ him. The same arms I knew, tightly around me. A gentle hand rubbing my back as I sobbed. His head nestled against my shoulder. Just like that, everything was right. My voice broke as I cried to him.

“ _My_ Gin.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also: I decided to post this (I don't usually ever post fanfiction) because it is the last one featuring my character Kaiya. I've given her a world of her own to be a part of so I don't feel like using her for this purpose after this work. Not to mention how much I have worked on this! I hope you look forward to more!


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